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Everything's changing.
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*hug*
I remember you saying it really helped last time you went into branch, maybe giving it one last shot. What do you think?
Sent by Sony Xperia
Sent by Sony Xperia
Sent by Sony Xperia
Work was shit, My boss took the piss out of me cause I can't talk. The customers took this piss out of me. It hurts to breath. One of the staff members poked fun at my arms. My brothers now back in Scotland and I feel fucking lost without him. This weekend has been amazing, just having him around again, the smell of his aftershave. He left one of his tops here, and I'm sat sniffing it in tears. What even. I know it makes me sound mad.
The urges to give up and end this all right now are massive, I've got no one left, what's the point in trying to keep myself here, there's nothing to keep me here. I don't even know what to do. I'm dreading tomorrow. I want to message me counselor to tell her how I'm feeling, but I can't bring myself to do it. I know if I was to tell her what I just wrote her she would SafeGuard me without a second thought. I don't wanna be SafeGuarded. Anyway... Sorry for bothering people.
Some of the things you talk about are really beyond the limits of peer to peer support so we'd encourage you to reach out to a professional to help you through this - that might be your counsellor or your GP when it comes to how poorly you have been feeling.
You mention not wanting to be safeguarded - can you tell us a bit more about what that has involved in the past and why you don't want it to happen?
It sounds like seeing your brother was a great experience and you really miss him, it's lovely that you have such a strong bond and that's something to be really thankful for during this difficult time.
*hug*
Hey Jo,
I guess it has yea...
I had an appointment with the GP today, but I could not go... There was a fire at work so I hada stay.
Being Safeguarded is scary, last time it happened there was Garda and an ambulance sent to me, it was scary. I'm scared that if I tell her that I pretty much wanna be dead she'll send them again.
Seeing James this weekend was amazing we went to the distillery where they make whiskey, and went to NI's only world heritage site, his housemates accents where amazing. I really do miss him lots, it's hard not seeing him everyday ir being able to talk to him. Part of me wishes that he stayed till everything was sorted out but the police only allowed a weekend.
Thank you lots for the *hug*'s
Thank you to everyone that's helped and messaged me, I've made some good friends here and I thank you all for that. I wish you all the very best with life and take care.
Not really, I've wanted it gone for a while. Now's just the time.
How about just taking a break for a few weeks? That way you can take a step back from TS and weigh up the positives and negatives about being part of the community. Deleting your account seems so final and I just worry that you may regret it because in the past, when you've felt safe here, you've really managed to let go of some of your emotions
How about it?
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Pretty much feel like shit right now, I'm struggling lots tonight, with just well everything. I can't even put it into words. My own health is starting to go downhill. I keep harming, I'm stressing about the little tiny things in life. I've got no where else to turn to, everywhere else has banned me, I just don't have anywhere where I feel like I can express how I'm feeling without getting yelled at and so on.
Things are hard, little things are stressing me out big time. I don't even know how to cope or react to them. I had a 1-to-1 with me course tutor today, I pretty much told her everything that was going on, the fact that the urges to drop out are now massive. I've been reduced to tears over my placement paperwork (that I failed last year and have to resit this year) I'm starting to struggle with keeping up with it.
I finally plucked up the courage to visit the GP's this morning too, I've got a really bad chest infection which is what's causing all the problems and shit, so I guess that's one less thing to worry about at least.
Anway, sorry for fucking everyone about. Sorry.
I felt the same as you last night and the feeling does pass, it may take time but it's just a feeling. This is just a phase in your life and things can change at any point in time.
You can always turn to here for support, there are lots of people on here behind you and supporting for you to get better, plus they care about you.
Whose yelling at you for expressing how you feel?
Does your GP know anything about how your feeling? There is medication they can give you for panic attacks/anxiety which is what I am on, one for during the day and one for at night which I take when needed and day one I decide how many to take within a range depending o. His bad I am feeling - gives me a bit of control over what I am taking and the meds help massively.
Try and keep going with the coursework if you can as it will give you something to focus on, although it's hard right now. I completely understand, I've just gone back to work after 4 1/2 months sick and it's so hard I just want to return round and run and quit, but you know what I'm doing it, might not be great but I'm there and trying and that's what counts. I'm gaining strength and vonfidence even with the set backs of my own anxiety and panick.
Big hugs to you {{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} - sorry couldn't work out how to get emoticon. On, how sad I ;o)
Please respond and let me know how you are, sorry for long reply.
I can't afford to take time off, so I've gotta struggle along. Just one of them things I guess. I still feel the same this morning as I did last night, so I guess it's just going to be one of them long shitty rubbishy moods that will last for ages. I'm rather scared to turn to people here. Sorry.
People everywhere yell at me for expressing how I feel. With my background we arnt allowed to express how we are feeling. So keeping it all bottled up is the best plan.
My GP knows little about how I'm feeling, but he said that if I don't 'get better' like with me depression and my eating and shit, he'll send me back to hospital. So I refuse to tell him anything cause I don't wanna end up back there again.
I'm trying my hardest to keep going with the coursework, I really am, but it's so hard to like focus. I hope works going ok for you.
Giant *hug*'s
Totally here for you ALWAYS
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Thank you lots *hug*'s
Just wish I could not feel like so shitty for a while. Just want to feel ok. Even just for an hour... But no.
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
It's okay to not be okay beautiful, nobody will think any less of you. We love having you around on here. *hug*
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Maybe I should give up with this? I don't even deserve the help. Maybe I should just stop breathing. I'm not even deserving help. Just forget all this.
Sent by Sony Xperia
Sent by Sony Xperia