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" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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You should just be given a chance and hope they can give u that. Sometimes writing a letter to someone can really help put ur feelings across in another way then less argumentive and putting that in writing will express how u really feel. It's good that ur still enjoying ur work there at the moment but I know u are feeling unhappy and so the only alternatives is to look for another job in the mean time or confide in ur manager one more time by writing a letter. I do wish u the best of luck with that and as for u feeling in the dark all the time u know that there's always someone to listen to u on here and can try and be there for u.
Carrying on getting the support does not seem to be helping u as they arnt doing their job properly and I don't think u need that right now as u have other things going on right now.
It's really good to hear that ur keeping busy even when ur spirits are low at the moment and fundraising to help out ur friends charity explains it all. Your doing well with surrounding urself around with people cuz it stops u thinking about things going on at home and more about meeting people. Keep up all the good work ur doing as its starting to pay off I believe. You do seem a little bit more open on here which is good and honest what I like. Do what u do best is my moto.
Today with the gp and my mother hurt a lot, she don't hve any plans to accept me for who i am... Which is hard, i just want her to see that imestill the same owl, i just like people the same gender as myself... Her reaction shocked me i never expected it at all, i guess i deserved it for keeping who i really am from her all these years. She told my brother tonight that she never wants to see my face again as im a disgrace to the family. And that i should be ashamed with myself.
She is right i should be ashamed i am a disgrace to my family, i should have said nothing, im so stupid
Everything hurts, my knees my back my head just everything. I'm trying my hardest not to relapse but i know that's what's gonna happen and there's nothing i can do to stop it.
I just don't know what to do anymore im just scared and feel a little bit alone, im so stupid
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Stay safe on your walk, walking at night is rather dangerous especially alone.
You definitely didn't deserve the reaction you received, no matter how long you've kept it from them, you still deserve to be accepted for who you are. You're not a disgrace to anybody, it takes a lot of courage to come out, even if it just slips out unintentionally it's still a massive and hard thing to have to do.
*hug* you're still the same person you were before you came out, nothing's changed about you and I'm really sorry that you didn't receive the nicest reaction
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I just don't know what to do anymore.
In the end up I did end up relasping, I tried hard not to, but my head would not shut up, I'm such a stupid twat of a person, I've lot everyone down yet again!
I just wanna leave... I go and everything will be made so much easier. I'm dreading my shift on Saturday with that girl that's been causing the problems... I just I don't know what to do anymore.. Sorry all.
I had a letter come through the post from the NIBTS (Northern Ireland Blood Transfusion Service) saying that I need to make another appointment with my GP as my blood counts and all this are low... So I don't know if I can face going to see my GP again, like it was scary the first time, I really don't know if I can face it again...It's scary enough as it is..
I really don't know if I can face going in to work this week, I really don't... My knees are in that much pain tha even walking hurts, then this girl.. I can't face it I'm so scared it's unreal... I hate it. No one gets it at all
If we want a home visit here we have to pay for it and I can't afford it, aha.
My work know about the problems that I do have with my knees, but I can't afford not to take the time off, I'm not allowed time off this summer. I know working this summer is gonna be painful... But there's nothing I can do about it, I need the money to support my family.
Everything is just pointless now, what's the point in me even being here? There's no point anymore. I'm just scared... I don't know what to do anymore... Sorry
We are to short staffed to take any days off,so yea.. Paul is refusing to give me any days off till September. So yea sorry.
It's not a summer job, my hours have just increased due to the summer, I work full time in bingo, then a part time student nursery worker too.
Feeling o in myself... Hmm not really, never really have, just want to slip away, no one would notice anyways would be easer for everyone that way.
I don't know if this is what I'm sensing or not but itl sounds like to me that u could be going through depression. I may have got it wrong and I dont wanna say I'm right but it feels like u have been going through some bad days lately and everything is getting on top of u that u feel like u should be gone. That's to how I think ur maybe depressed. Nothing to feel ashamed about at all! The reason why really that I have said it is because I an going through that at the moment and take medication for my mood cuz before I was crying for no reason. You got to remember that everyone who cares about u is looking out for u. Try and look at it in that way of possible. Speaking to someone can help also but I know u may not feel like that for now but it's still an idea.
Shame about that job of urs! It won't be like that forever I'm sure. Do the best u can tomorrow and keep positive. That's good that u got another job two in a nusery. What one do u prefer or do u like both? Also by u saying about the medication ur taking for ur knee it maybe a good idea if u can go on another form of medication instead?
You don't wanna be feeling sick or the time but I guess u would know if it was that or not as ur the one who knows when u take it and when u don't. That's maybe something u can talk about to ur doctor the next time u see him and remember that u have always got us a support here. Tomorrow is a new day
Every day is a bad day, I just never talk about it anymore cause I know how people will react to it! Speaking to anyone is pointless, there's nothing anyone can do to make me feel any different, and time I was offered support through my GP I was told that they did not deal with my kind there.
The job will be like that till the person goes back after the summer then I don't have to see her agian till Easter time. The one in the nursery is linked to my collage course, but I love working in both.
I can't get the medication changed as it reacts with the other's I'm taking.
Have some *hug*s and remember we all care about you
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" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Not worth the help, I'll shut up before I bother anyone else... Sorry
I got the wrong impression about u from the start. All makes sense now to know what kind of person u are and that person is someone who's lost and a delicate flower who showed be treated with respect. What the GP has said to u is absolutely disgusting and if I was there to hear that I would say to him that I want u to get the sake and I'm going to the manager and tell them everything. That's what I would of done.
There's no way u should be treated like not! Not way! Makes me angry, I'm sorry but it does. I'm pleased that she will be gone in the summer so atleast u dont have to see her ugly face again lol. The nusery seems to be going slightly better for u and I think that's cuz u got more support from the organisation ur with so I'm really pleased to hear that.
Are there any jobs coming up in that nursery at the moment and would it be something u would do if say there was a post? I think that place would be really good for u in ur confidence, abilties and motivation u can get from it and I think there what missing with this summer job.
Worth looking into I think! Im shocked that ur family has had a big massive effect on u and urself esteem. Can't put into words how they would stop speaking to u. Can see everything coming together now what has happened with u to make u feel like this.
You have deffo had gone through a lot and I really don't know how u do it when ur feeling like this all the time. It's unbelievable! The impact it's had on u can be explained. Seriously ur not on ur own on here ok. You have got a family already with u who are here ready to talk and listen. Please Please Please can u speak to any of us when u feel like ur something may happen. Please come to us straight away. No ifs or maybes. Do as I just said!
By the way u don't have to answer my question if u dont have to put what kind of medication are u taking besides for ur knee?
The nursery don't have any jobs going at the moment I've asked.
My family.. Hmm I don't really like to speak about them a lot, but meh I'm used to it now, the names I get called from them names like, fatty, ugly, useless, useless pile of shite, it's all normal now.
I don't like posting here cause I don't deserve it, I don't deserve to talk to anyone about this at all, I'm just a useless person that deserves no one.
I don't think ur manager is doing a very good job with being a very good role model towards the company and I think maybe telling head office about his behaviour towards u is a good step to make. They all need to be aware that this sort of behaviour will not be tolerated and if they have a problem with any member of staff they need to speak about straight away.
This is really not acceptable behaviour and no one should have to feel a victim in their work place. I'm still shocked that the customers who were there saw this and it carried on, it's beyond me how this can happen. You really need to say something now and not put up with this behaviour towards u no more. Its really not acceptable!! I hope u do speak to head office about this cuz I feel sad to even think ur going through this on ur own. You really do need to speak out. This is bullying to the extreme. No opinion to be made.
It's unfortunate that there isn't any jobs going at the nusery but u should still look out for opportunities otherwise. I'm glad that u feel happy there then that diabolical place of a work. Have u spoken to anyone at the nusery about ur job there? Maybe its a good idea that u do cuz atleast then u won't feel on ur own as u do now. You would think ur family would be here for u and for them to not give u the time of day its so against all odds for u having no one what so ever!
I can't believe they would turn their back on u! Your own family, what could be worser then that. I'm so sorry that u are so alone, why should u be. You deserve someone to be there for u, family or friends. It's a joke! I don't know what problems u have got in ur family but u would still think no matter what u have done they would always be there for u. Some sort of family they are! No disrespect to u but to them for not supporting u as they should be. Why do they hate u so much? What's happened for them to not have u part of there life? I dont understand.
Another good idea could be looking for other jobs in the mean time so that if a job u like comes up and u apply for it then u can go for it and look away otherwise. Best if u looked at other jobs going cuz u can't stay there putting up with that disgrace of a place behaviour. I know u have no choice right now but what a wrong looking at other jobs in the mean time? I bet this had stopped u from going into work right? No surprise there. Absolutely disgusting behaviour no more to be said! Couldn't u look for another bingo hall to work for or is not an option right now for u?
I know they lady u said is going away soon but that's still not gonna solve the problem. You need to report her and the other one to the head as this really can't carry on. Why are they even doing this to u? What have u actually done to them? You need to say all this to head office. This can't not be delt with, once they know what's going on then they will take action and make sure ur safe to work. Please don't ignore this, u got to say something now. Please tell me u will? I'm not trying to tell u what to do or give u advice u should go away and do but if say u had a friend who was going through this then what would u say? Would u say nothing? I dont think u would.
Not nice that u felt really down over the weekend and that's because of work. I think u need to stop putti g up with this behaviour right now and not let them carry on what they are doing. Everything u have said what they are doing is bullying. These sort of things are effecting u and for u to cry shows it all. Who was ot u cried on? There was someone u was with. You should go back to speaking to them on how much this has destroyed ur confidence and self esteem. Really good someone was there for u. Please don't suffer in silence.
These words are only words and shouldn't mean anything to u, u are a really nice girl, smart, funny, loveable, great friend to anyone and beautiful. You can't see this but it's true that u come under these words in a person.
You have much right to live a life u deserve and I'm not gonna hear anything instead. Brought up in this world for a reason, maybe it will take time with ur family but u know u got friends as family so think about that. I'm here for u as u need me and everyone on the site is here for u two. They all do care about u and don't wanna see u upset. These are the people u need to surround urself with right now.
If u got anyone else to speak to in the mean then please by all means do.
Im so sorry to hear this and u really arnt on ur own so remember u can always come to me. Hope u have a better day today u proberly will and keep busy two.
Talk soon,
Crazykiss
I broke down infront of my boss, just this week is gonna be really hard, I felt horrible for crying I really did.
I was kinda lucky with the hot tea I guess, only burned my arms and my hands a little, I think the thing with the bins upset me the most,I was shoved into one of them huge bins ( I don't know the proper name for them in English) and pulled down to the end of the road and left there... I was extremely lucky that one of the people in the houses heard my banging and screaming...
I have been looking for another job, but just like in England jobs here are hard to get, an no one really want's to take on an 18 year old with bad knees, but I guess all I can do is keep on looking.
The stuff with my family has been going on for years as long as I can ever remember so it's just a fact of life now, that's just what happens now, it's happened all my life, it's just normal now, things get said I get upset it's a normal day in the life of an owl.
I'm really not a nice, smart, funny loveable person, honest I'm not. I'm nothing a no one.
You wouldn't even need to think about looking for another job if it wasn't for them. I'm glad u do get on with the rest of the staff, there anyone there u could talk about this to? Shame u haven't got a head office but it's good that ur manager was there to see u cry so he can do something about it but it shouldn't be left like this, needs sorting out today. there another manager there who u could talk to about or is this ur only manager u got?
It's easy for u to ignore it and hope it goes away but it won't untill some action takes place. Why should u have to suffer in silence. I think its still a good idea to look for other work as u haven't got nothing to lose and ur chances for getting a job is higher then those who are much older and have mobilty problems. I know u suffer from ur knees but that shouldn't stop u not looking in the mean time. There's jobs out there what don't all involve standing up for long periods. Maybe something like office work might be a good one but how come at nusery u don't suffer with the same problem? Do u? That involves chasing the kids around and doing everything for them. There's no harm in looking and not applying.
Sorting out ur problems with ur family will take time to resolve as if there has been problems over the years with ur family and urself then its just one of those things were it will take time for them to come round. They know where u are so u can still keep in touch somehow eventhough it will take a long time. There anyone at all in ur family from ur mum to ur dad's side who u still speak to? Not all of them surely live together, they must all live different parts of the country. Speak to one of them what ur going through if there is someone ur close to. Talking on the phone is one. Atleast u won't feel like ur on ur own. Do u have a bf? Maybe again confiding in ur bf will help u in the long run at work.
What does the staff have to say about these ladys behaviour towards u? Have u actually gone up to them and asked why they are doing this to u? I know what ur thinking but some people can resolve the problem when they they speak to the person who make them uncomfortable. Depends wether there maybe a comparison. Good that u do have others at work who u can talk to.
What's the bullying about? Is about what u look like as in name calling or is cuz ur shy? Why are they bullying u and not the others? Where is it all coming from. Whatever u know it's their problem not there's but its always good if u could look at ways to build up ur confidence first and then see wh st u can do to improve u feeling good inside u. That could be more of a self esteem issue ur suffering with but going to the gym or having some facials can help u boost ur self esteem so that u feel good in urself and they will tell u do two and hopefully they will get the message that ur in a happier place. That something u like to try and do?
Do not say that! You arnt thinking about what other people are saying about u which is good things. We tell u everyday how lovely u are and how much u are supportive with others. Why don't u like others saying that to u? Why do u hate urself so much? Seriously u really arnt a horrible person so stop saying that. I just wish u could take all these postives in ur mind whatat other people are saying about u on here.
You know u got me and everyone eventhough u don't believe so buy it's true. There's some ways of helping u to feel better about urself. In case u don't know what to do the next time.
Try and stay relaxed and not put to much pressure on urself. For ur own good.
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Sorry to everyone i upset tonight.... Sorry.
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