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Confused ranting owl

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Comments

  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey Suzy,

    Sorry to see you've had such a tough few days. It sounds like whatever's going on is really hard.

    Would you like to talk about what's going on? We're here to listen :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is hard... It's all my uncles fault, if he shut his mouth this would not have happened. He's so stupid he's not thought of what would happen to all of us if he goes to the police and tells them what he knows. It was years ago and he's not really involved as such, but he knows who are involved. He speaks all of us are at risk... Like big time.. I'm so scared and no one understands it :(

    I don't want Thursday to happen, I'm not strong enough to go through with it, It's not going to happen, I'm refusing to accept that it's a year, I'm so tried from working 12 hour shifts to just support the family. I just want this to end. Is that to much to ask :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can i vanish now please? I cant face this. I'm so scared :(
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You ok Suzyowl? Hugs from me :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm never ok, i cant face this anymore :(
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyOwl wrote: »
    I'm never ok, i cant face this anymore :(
    Sent from my RM-914_eu_euro1_337 using Tapatalk

    You can lovely, please don't give up. I have nothing useful to say but *hug* everyone is here for you


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tues wrote: »
    You can lovely, please don't give up. I have nothing useful to say but *hug* everyone is here for you


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

    I can't... I can't go through this anymore, I can't keep being in fear everytime I leave the house cause of what he has done...I spoke to my boss about it because of the fact we may have to leave the country if it carrys on... Someone in work was looking for me, I broke down into tears thinking it was them coming for me.. I can't do this! I hate it :( I can't keep fighting anymore, the time is just getting closer for me to just leave. I'm sorry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm done. I cant fight this feeling anymore.sorry all
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  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey Suzy,

    It's hard to know what's happening for you at the moment, but it sounds like whatever your uncle wants to go to the police about is pretty major and could have big consequences for you. The scale and uncertainty must be really scary, which is totally understandable.

    Where does the rest of your family stand with all this? Are they in a similar situation as you? Have you discussed this with them?

    Do let us know how you're doing
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heyy James,

    Uncle went to the police and told him everything he knows.... Fucking amazing! :(

    He was involved in stuff years ago I don't really wanna go into to much info here... Just incase I'm found out and stuff... Can PM you it if you want...?

    My older brother James that's in Scotland it's even affecting him, cause my uncle has handed his name into the police. I'm refusing to leave the house n my own cause I'm scared that they are gonna be waiting for me. I know that sounds stupid but that's just how I feel. I don't know what to do anymore. The thing I'm shitting is the fact that this is gonna be on my record now... I wanna work with children and babies.. See me problem?

    I did my driving theory again, failed again... By one mark...Again... What's the point? it's a stupid thing to do, there is no need to do it at all. It's so flipping expensive too!

    Knees are causing so many problems, I'm yet to tell my family that I'm facing getting them replaced... I don't know how to tell them.. They hurt so bad and I don't think working 12 hour shifts really helps. But I really need the money to support the family... It's such a shitty situation to be in.

    Sorry for posting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry I just had to read through what u said SuzyOwl. Why has u Uncle gone and confessed everything he knows about ur the situation for? Did the police want to question him two? I'm confused. I'm glad u heard some news since that first happened. They know they cant come and find u as being warned before should be enough to consider that he can't come anywhere near u.

    You shouldn't have to feel that u can't go out of ur front door cuz they he's not inside but if u do stay indoors please make sure u don't answer the door. Let ur mum answer the door if u can't to anyone. If u think they are at ur door then call police straight away.

    I think u may need time off work to sort out ur family problems as this isn't good for the work place and for u but I suppose u need the money. Would of been good if ur manager understood the situation. Atleast u have ur family and friends near u and if there is any problems u know u can talk to one of us. If things come to the worse u have no choice but to take time out as ur health comes first and that's more important.

    I hope things better soon for u and ur family. Try to carry on as normal as possible like he don't exist where u are. I dont know what ur relationship is like with ur brother but distance urself from both of them.

    Talk to me anytime when u need someone there when times get lonely and stressful for u. You don't have to be alone SuzyOwl, trust me u dont. Your going through a tough time already so why do u want this to effect everything ur doing for urself. Got postive things going on in ur life like having a job which not many people don't have, good friends who care on here about u, loving mum who u get on with and independence ur earning for urself, so don't forget that.

    Hope that helps.

    Hugs :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can't take any time of work, I'll become homeless cause I can't pay bills and stuff. Knee went out of place while working yet more tears where seen in work... I'm such a twat :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know u can't but if u could explain to ur manager that ur knees are really hurting u and u don't think u can do a lot of walking about if it's ok u can take it slow today but still carry on normal. The manger would have to understand and he proberly does already know ur knees are hurting bad so it's no harm in saying again that u really can't be walking a lot and that ur happy to work but to take it slow. Why don't u say that?

    It's good that u got ur other job in the nusery aswell even though it is only a training program type of thing ur on but again its experience and qualifications u will gain. I know u enjoy that and u get on with everyone which is really good. How long are u at summer job for? Sorry I weren't too sure if it was summer job or another programme.

    You can always talk to someone when u feel down. I know ur going through a hard time with everything but ur doing ur best in carrying on, that's all that u can really do. Shame that u feel like this all the time with not having anyone to talk to. How's u and ur mum getting on? I'm glad that there's not been any problems with u and her.

    What's ur circumstances like at home? You mention that if u don't work u will be homeless. What do u mean? How do u contribute at home? I don't see why u would just be kicked out as I don't think any parent would want their kid to be on the streets. How much do u pay to live at home? In time u will be able to get ur own place when ur ready and u got a good job. Think it would be much better for u then as u would be in control of ur finances.

    Remember to speak to someone when u feel down again. I'm here if u wanna just talk or help u with u. Get in touch when u need to.

    Hugs x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He knows about my knees, Just one of them things nothing I can do about it anymore.

    Talking t people is hard, I used to be a selective mute so I don't really do talking to people face to face...

    I'm the main provider at home, so I like pay all the bills and stuff. Long story short around easter time, we where made homeless as we had not payed the rent, it's hard to explain... I'd always given me mother the money for the rent, she kept it and never payed the rent... :/ Me and my mother don't really get on the best if I'm honest.. We never have done, her health has gotten worse and I'm now also her carer.. Despite her being horrible..

    My uncle did go to the police and reported everything, so we are all now keeping away from everyone, the people hes reported are really respected members of the community... And what he's done puts everyone at risk.. He's so stupid for doing it... I want nothing more to do with him for my own safety... I don't want to end up being hurt because of my uncles actions.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just vanishing sounds amazing... I can't do this :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I see what u mean now! That must be really tough for u SuzyOwl. There a care plan in place for ur mother to get extra support? Age UK are a charity what help the most server people who needs more support and guidence. You can't do all of this on ur own, there's no way u can. How old are u if u don't mind me asking? That way I can decide what I can do to help u.

    Not good for u cuz u got bad knees for one, two u work nearly everyday and three u got ur own problems to deal with two. You do need help around the house. It's really good to see that u managered all of this on ur not own with hardly no help and having to grow up fast but now I think the situation is getting worse and even u said it, maybe time to put a care plan in place for ur mum so that way u got more time to do things for urself. You can't do it all.

    With the other situation with ur Uncle u just got to leave as that now as ur main priority is looking after ur mum who needs u the most. I'm glad u don't have nothing to do with him anymore as he's disowned the family and that's his own loss. Remember that ur a billant girl who don't deserve to put through all of this and say to urself u do need support for the good of u. I bet u don't get out much do u? Cinema or swimming? You seem to be losing ur social life.

    The best way I think things could be improved is if are willing to contact Age UK about ur circumstances and see where to go from there. I don't want u to having to cope on ur own. You need a life two and to go out places and this is what's stopping u.

    Your manager really does need get his grip together as he knows that he can't treat his staff like this. I don't know why there isn't any other manager in line but there should be as that's how a business runs. Could u try writing him a letter and make it clear to him what's going on at home? Must understand that and should easy on u. You done everything else. What's happened about those women being horrible to u? Hope they have gone back to wherever they came from. It's disgusting and should never be able to get away with what they did! :(

    I know u don't believe this but u are a really nice girl who one day will get the royal treatment they deserve as u have earned it for doing all of this on ur own. You deserve a break now and u can't carry on with the amount ur doing so care plan would be a good way forward. There anyone u have spoken to about this? Work colleague or friend? Best to tall to someone atleast so u know they can always be there where as none of us can be but only here to help and listen.

    Please get back in touch when u need me and he not on ur own and u really a inspirational girl who deserves a Pride Of Britian Award. Amazing! Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Think I'm just gonna go into hiding from everyone.... Kinda want nothing to do with anyone anymore... Can hardly speak again just meh :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just vanishing for good sounds like the best possible plan... Everything is starting to kick off over my uncle, and I just don't know what to do anymore... Super scared to leave the house to do well anything now, we are always being watched, people are starting to say things I just don't know anymore..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Must be really difficult what u can and can't do and the fact that u cant go out the house in case u bump into anyone is not right on u. You should be able to feel safe when u go out. May have to be on a day when u can face the world again but go out with someone with out them leaving ur site so if it's to the shop or going for a walk can be the first simple steps to getting ur confidence back. Don't worry that u can't go out now, in time when things have calmed down and ur safe enough then u can start going back out again.

    You have to go to work though don't u? How do u feel when u walk to work? You must still feel scared. Then there's going food shopping. How can u do that when ur scared to go out of the house? I don't really understand but its good to know that ur not stuck indoors. Maybe it's just having a social life where u cant really go anywhere to meet people, thats where ur insecurites lie.

    Has ur Uncle tried getting in touch? Make sure u don't answer the door to him and as in for people talking about u well they can't judge because they don't know what ur going through and so if they think ur being silly or ridiculous then they should look at themselves before they can judge someone else's life.

    I'm here if u wanna talk :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Promised myself that I would not be here when it's my nana's first anniversary... It's her first one tomorrow, I still have time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't say that SuzyOwl. Owls fight and are here through day and night.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nope... I still have time... I've got a few hours yet... I promised myself that I would not be here for it... This is one promise that I'm gonna keep.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyOwl I don't think ur thinking straight. Why u doing it on a day when u know ur nan has passed away. No good thinking like that. Please don't do anything stupid. Please :( it too much of a good person to do this to urself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am thinking straight... I promised myself...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm worried about u :( please don't do this. I will miss u, think about that. I'm sure u need time to think what ur doing cuz this isn't normal.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry.. Take care.
  • JamesJames Deactivated Posts: 1,706 Extreme Poster
    Hey Suzy,

    It sounds like everything is getting really overwhelming. There seems to be a lot happening for you at the moment, especially now that this business with your uncle is kicking off.

    Going through all of this pretty much by yourself must make things even harder. Are you still not able to talk to James? Maybe it would be helpful to turn to someone outside of all these situations? Someone who doesn't know you and can't judge?

    I know that speaking English on the phone isn't something you're very comfortable with, but there are lots of helplines based in Ireland where you might be able to talk in Irish.

    Grow have a helpline on 1890 474 474.

    We're here too of course, so do let us know how you're doing
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey James,

    I'm still alive... Even though I don't wanna be. Ended up going for a walk around 1AM...

    I can't talk to James... Hes involved in all this shit with my uncle :(

    Speaking English in general id something that I hate..

    Its hit me so hard that its a year today... Spent most of the morning in tears... We where really close, I heard her last words, i cant stop them from playing around my head... I went down stairs and had to take her photos off the wall... Not because i was being disrespectful but cause everytime i looked at them i cried, and when i cry i panic... I just feel so alone... We where to have a mass said for her, but everything kicked with her daughters and sons, as an end result im not allowed to attend the mass... Which hurts so much :(
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would be good if u can atleast talk to someone, anyone SuzyOwl. There must be someone. We're here for u but James is right about having someone u don't know to help u go through things with u to get things off it chest. You dont have to be alone. It's good that u got work to go to but it must be a lonely place when u arnt at work and in the house with feeling scared going out.

    There are a number of ways u can talk to people instead of using the phone. Online for example, email, writing a letter etc. Anything can help u confide in someone.


    Don't want u to feel like this and I'm really worried about u and I want to make sure u are alright. There's only so much u can do and I understand that but there is support out there.

    Please let me or anyone else know how it feeling cuz wee concerned. You got so many people who u can talk to on the site that they will be sure to listen to u, u are really likeable on here so don't think differently cuz its true.

    Hugs SuzyOwl
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry about me... Please? I don't want people to worry.... I feel horrible now :(
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