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Former Member

omg hi wrote: »

would it be worth going with the counselling for the sake of looking co-operative, then you can go back and say that you tried it but still want therapy? there is a possiblity that the counsellor might recommend therapy too and that could count for something.

:Yes: If your counsellor is good, they should recommend the next steps. Ask your CPN / psychiatrist to liaise with them (give written permission if necessary) so that they have a complete record.

Don't make a big decision like leaving uni just yet. You can get through this. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but when things are the worst is probably the wrong time to make dramatic decisions.

Former Member

Yeah I think I will go to the counselling, I'm just going to fight to get on the list as well.

And I'm sent an email to my pastoral tutor. I'm at my limit of coping. I could have carried on with the idea of having something to help me on the horizon, but that's not there anymore.

Former Member

I'm not doing very well. Came home early today. Failing.

Former Member

Sorry to hear you're not feeling great today. It sounds like you're stuck in a bit of a vicious circle at the moment, with the lack of support not helping your uni work and your uni work not helping your state of mind.

It's really good that you've decided to give the counselling a go. Like others have said, at least that way you've got more ammunition if it doesn't work - you can say you tried it but you need something else. Keep fighting for what you believe is right - it might take a little longer but eventually you'll get there. And you never know, this time the counselling might turn out to be better?

Try not to rush the decision of leaving uni - once you've left it will be hard to go back again, but if you can hold on for a bit it might start to improve. Try to take it one day at a time rather than looking too far ahead.

*hug*

Former Member

omg hi wrote: »

would it be worth going with the counselling for the sake of looking co-operative, then you can go back and say that you tried it but still want therapy? there is a possiblity that the counsellor might recommend therapy too and that could count for something.

don't give up on uni. it isn't the way round it should be, but sometimes you have to try to get better in spite of services, not because of them. sometimes they are so shit that they make you want to give up on it all, but you need to turn that round and show them that you don't need them anyway. there are other places that you can find support and there are some really good self-help materials out there. i know that doesn't make the prospect of going it alone any easier but it can be done. you can't say you're not going to be getting any better, you can't possibly know that. you do have an element of choice in it, even though it sometimes doesn't feel that way. you can chose to say fuck you to the psychiatrist who thinks he knows best and work on getting yourself better as best as you can, with or without their help. and i think staying engaged with uni is going to be a real help in that, it gives you a reason to keep going.

This. Janey is right here - looking co-operative in terms of counselling will certainly do more help than harm in terms to getting towards psychotherapy in the future and also the counselling might help support you in the mean time.
I have a pdf on CBT for dummies if that is something you'd be interested in PM me. It can help you start finding indicators and triggers.

Former Member

Well as someone said to me earlier - it's because I look like I'm coping.

I really can't be any clearer.... I'm at my limit of being able to cope. Stuff is only going to get harder - there's no way I'm going to be able to pull 12 hour shifts day after day like this. I thought I was going to get help - I thought I was going to be in a position where I'd be learning how to cope and to be better at the same time as stuff got harder. But I'm not. I really don't see the point.

Former Member

Girl_gunner wrote: »

This. Janey is right here - looking co-operative in terms of counselling will certainly do more help than harm in terms to getting towards psychotherapy in the future and also the counselling might help support you in the mean time.
I have a pdf on CBT for dummies if that is something you'd be interested in PM me. It can help you start finding indicators and triggers.

Thanks

Yeah I'm going to give it a go. I just hate how at the moment it's been offered as an alternative to psychotherapy - and that's what I'm not happy with. Thanks for the offer - I've done a lot of moodgym, and so I'm aware of my triggers and my negative thinking patterns. It's DOING anything about it that's the problem.

Former Member

Yeah you must be seriously frustrated! I do understand that whilst knowing is the first step, the doing part is helped by having a psychotherapist. Try and keep just taking every day at a time and hopefully something well get sorted sooner rather than later

Former Member

Girl_gunner wrote: »

Yeah you must be seriously frustrated! I do understand that whilst knowing is the first step, the doing part is helped by having a psychotherapist. Try and keep just taking every day at a time and hopefully something well get sorted sooner rather than later

Thank you, means a lot

Former Member

I really can't carry on. I don't want to kill myself but all of this is too painful. I have no friends, noone who cares. I don't know what to do.

Former Member

i'm your friend. hold on until tomorrow, just incase it's better x

Former Member

I can't even talk about what has made me upset because it's so fucking stupid and everyone will think I'm fucking crazy. But this is the way that those closest to me treat me. They SHOW me how much they fucking don't care every single day.

Former Member

i don't think anyone would think anything like that if you wanted to share.

Former Member

Sorry I didn't make much sense. I'm upset because of the way other people treat me. All my housemates have made me feel so so shit. People keep telling me that I'm not worthless, but I get made to feel that way. They don't need to tell me how little they think of me - they show it every day.

Former Member

Sorry I was being really stupid last night

Going to a conference this weekend. So tempted to just curl up in bed and not go, but forcing myself to. Also seeing my parents this weekend. I find it hard because I have to force myself to pretend even harder that stuff is all OK.

Former Member

yellowseahorse wrote: »

Sorry I was being really stupid last night

Going to a conference this weekend. So tempted to just curl up in bed and not go, but forcing myself to. Also seeing my parents this weekend. I find it hard because I have to force myself to pretend even harder that stuff is all OK.

Well done.

It sucks you can't tell your parents how bad things are, though, why is that?

Former Member

They did know how bad things were. They came and took me home before Christmas when I said I was going to kill myself. But they think I've got mostly better. At the time my mum said something like 'you must hate me'. I also made her and my dad worry too much and they have enough to worry about. It's ok.

Former Member

Right so slight update.
-Saw my pastoral tutor, nothing much happened.
-Haven't been free at the right time to call Mind's infoline, but hoping to tomorrow.
-Needed to call GP to get prescription for new ADs. No answer the 3 times that I called, again hoping to tomorrow.
-Psych said he'd let me know about being put on the waiting list on Monday. Haven't heard anything.
-Haven't done anything about counselling. Had a 12 hour day yesterday and a 10 hour day today, no time for sorting out life

Still feel just as hopeless.

Former Member

Don't try and do much thinking whilst you're exhausted. Those sorts of days are incredibly tiring. Being tired naturally makes you feel more miserable.

Just try and rest for now if you can. Bake. Do something repetitive where you can switch off your brain for a bit.

Former Member

You made it through the long days.

That's not a trivial achievement.

Former Member

Thanks.
This lunchtime I've managed to:
-request the prescription online. Not entirely sure it will work as its for repeat prescriptions only.... But the prescription phone line is only open at silly times.
-email the counsellor
-ask for my (old) CPN to give me a call back and see if there's any newsss

Former Member

:thumb: Good work!

Former Member

My CPN called me back last night but I was at the hospital so couldn't really talk so asked if we could talk another time. He said that he'd like to talk to me today - so I should phone back after 4.30. I called at 4.30, was told he was busy and that he'd call me back when he was finished. I've now been waiting nearly an hour, and I understand something's probably come up and it's not his fault but that's it now for the weekend and just the waiting makes me feel really, really anxious. Meh.

Former Member

I was meant to be going out this evening, but have taken the not so positive option of drugging up and staying in bed. It's not the worst option, but wish I could be more like 'fuck that, I'm going out to have a nice time'. I just feel all anxious and horrible now and like I can't face anyone or anything

Former Member

I called my CPN. Complained a lot. Fucking hate this. Since when has it been such a bad thing to want to be better . This is just proof that noone thinks I deserve to feel any better and stick around. GP hasn't dispensed my new meds, counsellor hasn't got back to me. Screw everything.

Former Member

The mental health support system on the NHS leaves a lot to be desired sometimes. But you do deserve to get better, and we'd all like you to.

Former Member

Thanks fiend *hug*

I feel so guilty about everything. I shouldn't be moaning - this whole thread is just full of moaning. :no:

Former Member

I know I wanted to come off my old my drugs but I'm sort of missing them. They did help my sleep, but I don't think I realised how much they helped until now I had to get up at 5.45am this morning and although I got to sleep within an hour, after about 4 hours I just toss and turn and wake up and blerghhhhhh.

My new drugs should also help with sleep though. Just need to figure out how to actually get them. :banghead:

Former Member

Blergh I feel so crap - in my sleepy state this morning I managed to take my sedative anti-depressants instead of my antibiotics. Feel so rough and tired now and I have so much to do!

Had my first counselling appt. Was meh. Seeing my CPN later, last chance to beg for help

Former Member

So I'm being discharged.

Also uni counselling can only offer me 4 sessions, 8 if I'm lucky.

Probably going to shortly destroy myself. No point.