Bad

Former Member

I'm in a bad place.

My housemates are going out for the weekend (well Friday-Saturday). And in my head its just screaming 'this is your chance'.

Former Member

Heyy

Heyy

wel-done for posting this.

have u tryed speaking to ur house mates to see weather u can go with them or can u go and stay and see ur famliey. i do that soometime if iam in the house by myself.

big hugs *hug*
keep us posted
We are here for u
chats on tonight if u like to come and share it with us. 8-10 We want to help and support u all the way

Former Member

Hey.

It's really good you've recognised this as a trigger. Is there a safe place you can go to this weekend? Could you head back home? Visit a different friend? You don't necessarily have to tell the person that you feel you are in danger but I think it'd be really helpful for them to know.

Big hugs to you

Former Member

Home is a 7 hour plus train ride and I really can't afford to, especially as its only 2 weeks into term. I could go with them, but it's a friends birthday party and I'm too depressed for going out really. I tried to go out (actually same place just different person's birthday) a few weeks before Christmas and I ended up worse for it. I don't really know who I'd ask. I don't have many friends.

Former Member

Ah that's a pain. Are you feeling that your crises point is inevitable? I'm just wondering if it may help to have a back up plan of where to go should you feel the need or whether it's worth avoiding being on your own this weekend altogether.

I'm sure you've mentioned in previous threads but are you getting support from a mental health team, therapists or anyone at uni?

Former Member

I'm not sure really. I tried to explain but it's too complicated. A saying did come to mind though.... In medicine I've heard it said that "nobody is dead until they are warm and dead", so people get warmed up and then pronounced dead. I kind of drew parallels and thought I can't kill myself in case I'm feeling so terrible because of all the bad stuff that has happened - I need to wait for the bad stuff to pass. Well the bad stuff has passed, and I still feel bad. Now what?

I see a psych and a CPN. Got an appointment with the CPN tomorrow.

Former Member

yellowseahorse wrote: »

I see a psych and a CPN. Got an appointment with the CPN tomorrow.

Please tell your CPN. They should be able to get someone from the crisis team to visit over the weekend if you feel unsafe. Also, don't underestimate the power of sharing your feelings; Saneline and the Samaritans are worth it even as a distraction.

Do you have other mates you can call? People you don't see often you could just arrange to call for a chat (you don't have to tell them how bad you're feeling)?

Former Member

What piccolo said. Talk to your CPN.

Is there anything else you can do over the weekend that would keep you out of the house and occupied. Kids club activity day, planet huggers beach clean up, duty at the sailing club etc?

Former Member

I'll talk to my CPN.

Former Member

yellowseahorse wrote: »

I'll talk to my CPN.

Good girl .

I should also be around on Friday evening/Saturday morning if you need a distraction and want someone to poke.

And I'm always always around if you really need me. No matter what x

Aurora

yellowseahorse wrote: »

I'll talk to my CPN.

Postive to hear you are considering talking to your CPN, very prud of you, do keep us updated on how things are going for you *hug*'s! Just wanted to respond offering a few hugs!

*hug*

Former Member

Glad that you're able to speak with your CPN, it is a good thing that you can recognise the warning signs beforehand. That's a really positive step, be proud of yourself for doing it.

Former Member

Arctic Roll wrote: »

Glad that you're able to speak with your CPN, it is a good thing that you can recognise the warning signs beforehand. That's a really positive step, be proud of yourself for doing it.

:yes:

Former Member

Went badly. Meh.

Former Member

Sorry to hear it didn't go well, Yellowseahorse. Do you feel able to tell us a bit more about why it didn't help? Remember that it's still really brave of you to talk to them - like others have said, just recognising that you could do with some support is massively important.

*hug*

Former Member

I'm done with talking. Sorry.

Former Member

No worries, just remember that we're here when you're ready.

Former Member

Found that my ex was slagging me of online and in public. Last night wasn't nice.

Former Member

*hug*

Former Member

He said that he regrets our whole relationship and that it was silly and 'thank god it's over'

Former Member

oh love

Former Member

yellowseahorse wrote: »

He said that he regrets our whole relationship and that it was silly and 'thank god it's over'

I've changed my mind. He's definitely a cockbag *hug*

Former Member

It is awful what he has said, but in a way I'm glad he has. You can move on safe in the knowledge that he's not worth wasting a single tear over.

YSH, you're ace and he's a sweaty ballsack. *hug*

Former Member

Definitely echo the sweaty ballsack sentiment *hug* His bitching is just making him look like a complete bellend to other people.

Thinking of you lots. Completely understand you may not be in the mood to talk about it but we're all thinking of you.

Former Member

Thanks *hug*

I phoned the out of hours team yesterday, and Arctic was also very nice to me.

Still feeling pretty bloody awful this evening. Left my exam over an hour early. I have no idea who I am anymore.

Former Member

I don't really know what to do.

I don't have a single friend I can talk to about this. Any of it. I really don't have anybody.

Former Member

I feel bad for such a depressing thread. I am sorry It means a lot though that you guys support me, I don't really have anyone offline.

I've had 2 tutor meetings this week, it's been quite hard to talk about stuff but having people aware at uni can only be a good thing I guess. I've taken the rest of the day off, just couldn't quite manage a whole week.

I feel slightly better about tonight. I did have plans but I think I've minimised the risk by doing a number of things. Probably too much detail to post here. I'm still going to be alone though. I've started self-harming quite a bit again. For years it has been every other month to once every 6 months or longer. I feel a bit of a failure, I must have been about 14 when I was last hurting myself daily. I thought I was past all this.

I just want to be well and to enjoy life. I want to make people proud and be able to be proud of myself

Former Member

You can make people proud, and be proud of yourself. Youre clearly having a rubbish time at the moment and putting a lot of effort into dealing with it as best you can. I'm seriously impressed with the maturity you're showing. You're being far more proactive at looking after yourself than several people I can think of I know. Including 'proper grown ups' at work, who could learn a lot from you.

Yes, it might not be grea that youre self harming, but it's not the end of the world. I can only imagine how frustrating it might feel to think you'd stopped, but as you've shown before, you can stop again but it doesn't need to be this week. It's not the best coping tactic, but it sure as he'll aint the worst thing to be doing either.

Former Member

Basically what Scary Monster said.

Former Member

Thanks guys, means even more hearing it from you two xxx

Former Member

ditto to above.

i agree that you're being really pro-active. you certainly have a lot to be proud of even though you can't see it yet. i think what you're doing now is great, tackle things in bitesize chunks and please dont put too much pressure on yourself. it may not feel like much but it is progress and you are stepping forward.

also dont feel bad about posting. we care about you a lot here and it's one of the reasons this forum is here.