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Profiles on dating sites
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There's nothing wrong with being shy and reserved, but you only come out of your shell "a bit"? That needs to be changed.
This. Seriously. I'm shy and reserved, but I make light of it.
What I wrote for you, Mr Ferrari, wasn't just written on a whim. The words I chose were chosen for a reason and you don't seem to quite be understanding what that reason was. So I will go through it again. I will write your whole god damn profile for you.
First: Tagline. Like the other girls said, it's really off-putting. Do you have to have a tagline there? I'd say get rid of it completely.
Next, "Works in Skipton" isn't a profession. Put what you actually do for a job, even if it's totally mundane. If you really don't want to put it, it's ok to say "Prefer not to say" for that question.
The photos are good, but you have two that are almost exactly the same. Delete the second one, keep the one of you smiling.
Again - "Prefer not to say" WRT the Drinking question is redundant when you have a photo of yourself drinking.
Fix the spellings in the interests box. Again: "Whitesnake" and "Lostprophets". Yes, I'm pedantic. No, I don't care.
Now for the actual profile text:
I'm a reserved, but romantic guy, looking to meet someone awesome to share a few drinks with. My friends describe me as being sweet and caring and once I've got to know you a little, I really come out of my shell. (Even if it's not totally true, nobody wants to meet someone who isn't totally themselves around them, especially if they're still closed up after three or four dates)
I love photography, taking photos of my walks in the Yorkshire Dales, or on my fishing trips, whenever I have the opportunity. I especially like shooting landscapes because they show where I have been. I also enjoy cycling and driving to get out of the house. When I need to relax a bit or am having a lazy day, I'll play a few video games or watch a movie. (The bit about angling is irrelevant given that you've already said you like fishing above - girls are unlikely to know what course and game angling are and what the difference is, and if they do, then they'll probably ask you about it in their message. Don't specify a games console, that makes it look it's too big of a deal in your life, and always explain WHY you like these things. Just saying, "I like blah, blah and blah", will make it into a boring-arse list).
Ideally, I'm looking for someone who lives pretty close to me, but of course I would be willing to travel a little further if you're very special
Then the First Date section:
A few drinks in a bar and then maybe to a movie. Of course I am always open to suggestions to what you might want to do
I will mention again that I don't just write out this shit for shits and giggles, I do actually put thought and effort into it.
I normally write that I enjoyed reading their profile and if they like mine, then ask them to send me a message. And that I find them attractive and I'd like to get to know them.......... Something along those lines.
I used to have a very long profile, but I decided that it was way too long and shortened it. Now I've shortened it even more.
I've changed the opening tag to "Single, caring guy here".
I do try to make an effort and try and sell myself, but I just never know what to say:banghead:
I've tried OkCupid, Faceparty (met three people on here; one person here, one bitch who didn't meet me and another one who was blooming gorgeous and made a mistake of asking advice about her on here)
I'm sure I've tried one or two other free dating sites. I wouldn't want to pay to get to know someone, I'm just not going to waste my money.
I'll try my best and re-write my profile yet again.
No I haven't got any more photos of myself.....also I don't smile in them
That sounds very generic and very "I send this to every girl I message".
Pick something up from their profile and comment on it specifically. Never ask that they look at your profile - if they like your message, they will look. If they don't like your message, they won't. Don't tell them you find them attractive - they know that. You messaged them, of course you find them attractive. Don't ramble, but don't make it too short either.
Pick one thing that you're interested in.
And don't call the girls who change their minds about you "bitches". Girls are allowed to change their mind and if you're too bitter about them then it shows.
As reference, messages I have responded to even though I wasn't massively attracted to them at first glance:
(That was longer than usual but it kept me interested from the off)
(Above guy is now a good friend/back-up (for when I get REALLY desperate, since he's a bit short for me))
(Because it was a bit cheeky)
For reference, he was kidding:
Ive been using one called Badoo and Tagged recently,again got a few numbers but again nothing comes of them.
Maybe its me and Im not very interesting to talk to/text with.
But I personally find this type of thing to be the case everytime I use dating sites and only really use them because Im finding a lack of meeting girls in real life.
Franki, your messages are funny. But I would have been annoyed with the second one.
After all that effort to prove he (I assume) could use grammar correctly, I want to take a red pen to this:
Usually I wouldn't mind but it's like saying you never make any tpying erorrs.
Haha
Do you mind me asking, what do you actually talk about? You may need to change what you talk about. Whilst I have no problems with males talking about music and stuff, some girls may not like that.
It really depends though,sometimes I feel as though its a 2 way conversation with both of us asking about each other and talking about music,films etc and sometimes it seems like its just me putting effort in,which is when I dont bother texting them again unless they text me.
Unfortunately it seems to be the second going on at the mo.
Stop writing "caring guy" and other little nicenesses. That you care for someone you like is a given. Adding it to your description just make you sound so boring and that you have no features so you have to advertise you with things everyone readily expects. It's like I say, "Selling a car, sideview mirrors on BOTH sides, automatic windshield wiper (as in you don't have to move them per hand) and if you give me the first bid, I give you the STEERING WHEEL FOR FREE on top." It sounds like this car is so shitty that I have to accentuate bland and common details, therefor (in my opinion), lowering the actual quality of my advertisement.
I even go as far to say that if you put "mean guy, who doesn't care a lot" brings you more responses than "nice guy who cares."
:yes:
I may be shy but I'm a nice guy at heart. I'm kind, caring, down to earth, doesn't take life too seriously, and will try anything once (or twice).
I like go for walks in the Yorkshire Dales with my expensive camera, or sitting or standing next to a stillwater or river fishing. I enjoy going on my ps3 occasionally.
I enjoy a wide variety of films and music.
I'm interested in getting to know someone then maybe meet for a date.
If you have any questions, please send me a message.
The "expensive camera" makes you look like you know the cost of everything and the value of nothing and the rest is, well, boring.
*breathes*
Helen asked me nicely to reword my earlier aggressive reply, so here goes (I am fully prepared to be told off again, but I'll try and keep it nice)...
I don't like having my advice and things I've put a lot of effort into ignored completely, just as a starting point. Like I said before, I don't do these things for shits and giggles. I don't get anything out of it and it's kind of like you've scoffed at it and then stamped all over it. A lot of people think that what you write on dating profiles is pointless, but that's not necessarily true. Profile writing is clearly not your strong point. Without meaning to be harsh, this is how your profile reads:
I won't say anything and I'm a bit of a pansy. I am boring, kind of childish, and I spit out cliche phrases to make myself look good.
I'm a bit of a loner and my camera cost lots of money, I can sit AND stand, and did I mention that I'm boring? Sometimes I play video games by myself.
I like to state the obvious but you have to meet my standards.
I'm not telling you everything.
Honestly, stop calling yourself nice, kind, caring. Those words are essentially code for boring. Interesting people don't get described as nice because they have other attributes they think are much better to talk about. Arctic Roll's rant says it all.
Your last two paragraphs are pointless. Of course you're interested in getting to know someone and maybe going on a date with them - you're on a DATING WEBSITE. Of course you want them to send you a message - that's the whole point of writing the profile.
Stop playing up the fact that you're shy. I can't stress that enough. I say this as someone who has massive panic attacks when meeting new people for the first time. It's not an attractive attribute. If you're going to mention it, spin it in a positive way that isn't, "This is a bad thing about me, but I still have a quality that most people on earth possess".
This is how I spin my negatives:
I'm picky, shallow, materialistic and occasionally a little bit clingy. I like it when people make me feel important. I chain smoke when I'm nervous, I am sarcastic, cynical and self-deprecating, and I will be mean to you regularly as a form of affection. There has to be a click, and if we ever meet, I'll either be super shy and quiet or be over-compensating by talking too much.
You have to turn it into something that makes you interesting. Imagine your dream woman reading your profile - do you think she'd read it and think, "holy hot damn, I'm missing out!"? No. She wouldn't. She'd think, "oh, another guy who won't talk to me on the first date". You want something like, "I can be kind of quiet sometimes when I meet new people, it takes the right kind of person to bring me out of my shell". It gives them a challenge, like, "Oh, maybe *I* can be that person!" But don't make it your first sentence, because you're still trying to sell yourself.
What you are trying to do on a dating profile is this:
1. Sell yourself to your dream woman/man/partner (delete as applicable).
2. Create a bit of mystery about yourself so that they have something to ask about.
3. Be honest, but not big-headed or too self-deprecating*. There is stating the facts and there is sabotaging yourself. Know the difference.
4. Make yourself look interesting and sociable. Don't put too many solo activities and don't make yourself sound like a loner.
*It is ok to be self-deprecating if you know how to spin it to make it interesting. Unless you're absolutely sure you can get it right, just don't do it.
Girls aren't going to care about where you go walking or what kind of fishing you do, and saying that your camera is expensive puts up a big red flag about valuing material things over the more important things in life. This is how I'd spin that paragraph:
I love going on walks through the countryside or sitting by the river with a fishing rod, I find it really picturesque and relaxing, and regularly take my camera along to take a few snaps.
That is exactly the same content as was in your original sentence, with an added bit about WHY you enjoy those things, but made much more interesting and less, "I am a lonely hiker who buys fancy cameras". If I read that I would think, "aw, that sounds lovely, I'd love to go along on one of those trips sometime".
When you write about your interests it should always be: <interest>, <I am interested in/enjoy this because>. Always. There's a difference between saying, "I like photography" and "I like photography because I really enjoy being creative and seeing the improvements I make over time". My profile, for example, could easily say, "I like to write, read, knit and play video games". But it doesn't. It says why and when I like to do those things, because it gives a much better insight into your personality.
Anyway, this is going to be my last post in this thread. Everyone has agreed that the things I've written for you are much more interesting than your attempts, but it seems that you disagree with that. I've put a lot of effort into trying to help you, and the least you could do is say, "thanks, but I don't like it". I'd rather that than being outright ignored.
Why not have a read of the profile she wrote for you, see if any of it is actually wrong, and if not, post it up for yourself. See if that gets you any further. Leave it for a couple of weeks, and if your track record gets worse, change it back.
I have already had this request from two people and forcibly done it (it was appreciated) for one of my other friends.
I am the QUEEN OF PROFILES, yo.
But that's a personal thing. There's nothing wrong with mentioning that you like to do that, as long as you don't make it sound like the centre of your universe. Plenty of girls are into gaming and would be perfectly happy to read that...
The problem with this profile (apart from the fact he keeps asking for advice and then refusing to change it based on that advice) is that the whole tone of it is "pleading" and he seems intent on telling everyone how nice he is and not much else. No humour, nothing.
I have no interest in dating sites (in fact I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life and die a slow painful death than subject myself to one of them) but this whole thread made me cringe....
Yea. The system wants to silence me. I thought it brought the general consensus over pretty well.
Have they removed your post?
Like Neddy says, that's personal preference. On a profile which was a bit longer I wouldn't have a problem with that being on his list of interests. The problem with it being on his current profile is that he doesn't show any kind of interest in any kind of social activities.