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Profiles on dating sites

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I bet mr. ferraris profile is the most visited by now. It's like checking your daily webcomics. Every day another chuckle.

    Actually, I think I am going to update my dating profile now, adding, "I would love to go on a date with you, as long a toilet is nearby. I tend to get projectile diarrhea when I am nervous LOL."
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your medical complaint is irrelevant. I know with me, I would have to inform the person before the first date (due to wheat intolerance and a few other issues) - but would never mention it on a dating profile. It's so off-putting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mr Ferrari (got the name right this time) you need to develop a sense of humour and learn to laugh at yourself. Most people are giving you darn good advice which you openly say you are ignoring. The way you write almost makes me think of a eulogy at a funeral or something you'd put on the tombstone. Its too serious almost and that's even before I read the bit about the feet. I'm with stupid's tongue in cheek paragraph about being a nice guy was so much better. It turned it into something funny rather than awkward.

    The 20 mile thing, while I can understand why you might not want to spend large amounts of time and petrol travelling to meet someone putting it in a paragraph like that is very off putting. Even if I liked the rest of what I have read I think that would be enough to put loads of people off. Its too rigid, around the "xxxx" area or something like that might be better. Within 20 miles just makes you seem a bit inflexible.

    Your profile should be positive, with a sense of humour and inviting. It should not read like what you might hope is read at your funeral, nor should it read like a letter to a psychiatrist.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just go fuck your self everyone. I'm not wasting my time posting messages on here when everyone just takes the micky out me.


    WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME.

    I'm almost...ALMOST...offended. Then I realise that I can't be bothered to be offended.

    HOWEVER.

    A waste of time is not you repeatedly posting your terrible profiles on here. It takes little to no effort on your part.

    A waste of time IS my having written you several lengthy responses with advice that everyone has agreed you should listen to, and then you openly admitting that you have ignored it all. Just sayin'.

    You bitching about it being a waste of your time makes you a gigantic hypocrite.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heh, I was appreciating the irony of that - Mr Ferrari accusing the people here of wasting his time! Chortle.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just go fuck your self everyone. I'm not wasting my time posting messages on here when everyone just takes the micky out me.

    WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME.

    Watch out everyone, low flying teddies approaching.

    I agree that this is a waste of time. There's precious little point asking for advice if you're going to ignore it because you don't like what you hear. Using sweary words and throwing your toys out of the pram isn't going to change the advice you're given. If you don't like the advice fine, just don't keep coming back asking the same question. Having a paddy won't make people change their advice.

    If you can't grasp that the profile on a dating website is an advertisement then you have no hope. You wouldn't expect a company to promote themselves by saying "we're shit, but a bit less shit that everyone else", so why do you think it would work for people?

    The whole point of a dating profile is to say "me, I'm fucking MINT", not to witter on about your feet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Watch out everyone, low flying teddies approaching.

    I agree that this is a waste of time. There's precious little point asking for advice if you're going to ignore it because you don't like what you hear. Using sweary words and throwing your toys out of the pram isn't going to change the advice you're given. If you don't like the advice fine, just don't keep coming back asking the same question. Having a paddy won't make people change their advice.

    If you can't grasp that the profile on a dating website is an advertisement then you have no hope. You wouldn't expect a company to promote themselves by saying "we're shit, but a bit less shit that everyone else", so why do you think it would work for people?

    The whole point of a dating profile is to say "me, I'm fucking MINT", not to witter on about your feet.

    Precisement.

    I don't mention my mental health crap, or the fact that I've got a dodgy wrist, or that sex can be massively hit or miss for me because of problems in my past. Know why? Because nobody wants to read about that. Would you tell a girl that you'd just met all about your bad feet? No, you wouldn't. So why are you mentioning it on your profile?

    I've already told you - get rid of the "20 miles" thing. Even if I lived right next door to you, I would be put off by that, because it screams, "I don't want to put in any effort". You can say, as I have mentioned before, "I'd prefer someone who lives pretty close to me so that I can see you more often, but I would be willing to travel a bit further for the right person :)", which says EXACTLY THE SAME THING but is much less accusatory and negative.

    Incidentally, I think I should go into a profile-writing or matchmaking business. I'd make shittons.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So the whole point of this thread is to help Mr Ferrari get some responses, and ultimately, to get laid, right?

    To that end, I'm going to say what I think the biggest problem with your profile is. I'm not trying to be mean here. I'm genuinely explaining why if I were looking for a bloke on that site, I would click straight past your profile without even reading it.

    The big problem for me is not the text, it's the photos. I don't think you've chosen them well, and they're not particularly attractive. Please don't get massively offended or tell me to go fuck myself. But I'm a woman and I'm telling you that if I saw those photos, I wouldn't read on.

    The one that's just your face staring at the camera is a little odd, and honestly, a bit creepy and off putting. Why aren't you smiling? Why are you staring right at the camera in such an expressionless way? Again, look at Franki's photos and see how it's done. She looks happy, positive, and an interesting person to get to know.

    The one of you out walking is a bit better, as it least it's an action shot rather than a strange close up. But it's still not great, and this brings me to my main point. I think your overall image and appearance could do with a bit of work. I'm sorry to be brutal, but that's the truth, and that's what would put me off.

    First of all, I think you need a better haircut. This is something that could be done easily and would make a huge difference. At the moment, your hair is not flattering at all.

    Second, while the shot of you out walking is good in that it shows you doing something, it doesn't show you at your best in the sense that your dress sense doesn't look great. Now I know that when you're out walking in the country you're unlikely to be smart and dapper. Neither would I be. But the point that everyone is trying to make is that you are supposed to be selling yourself here. This is an advert, for you. (See AR's point above.) And these photos are not selling you well, at all. Some better photos, where you have a better haircut and some smarter, more attractive clothing, would probably have a far greater impact than anything you're writing underneath the pictures.

    Sorry if that's hard to hear, but it's the truth I'm afraid, and I'm trying to help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamelia wrote: »
    She looks happy, positive, and an interesting person to get to know.

    Even though none of those things are necessarily true :p.

    P.S. jamelia, can I have your babies?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can have my baby.

    Where shall I post her to?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can have my baby.

    Where shall I post her to?

    I'm sure you know my address :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this thread has put a proper smile on my face, the bit about the feet is comedy gold :D and strubbles's post...

    on a serious note some really really good advice has been given especially from jamelia re: the pics but I wouldn't bother anymore as he's already said (and proved) that he doesn't read long replies.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm almost...ALMOST...offended. Then I realise that I can't be bothered to be offended.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cycXuYzmzNg
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    I'm going to close this now - there's a balance between offering good advice and taking the mickey as Mr Ferrari says and I think in some cases it's verging on the latter. As it's his thread and he's clearly feeling pretty upset, I think it's only fair to close it.

    Lots of useful advice - but also lessons on how different people use the boards which I think all of us can learn from. :)
This discussion has been closed.