If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Take a look around and enjoy reading the discussions. If you'd like to join in, it's really easy to register and then you'll be able to post. If you'd like to learn what this place is all about, head here.
Comments
*high five*
Mine dont... Unfortunately.
*dreams of a night with a porn star*
It would make me throw up. So it's a good job that Boy doesn't really want to do it :chin:.
Depends what you mean by sexually satisfied, dunnit. Personally no, I don't think men are more easily sexually satisfied.
It's alright, I've been married long enough to know how to have pleasurable sex. But thank you for your concern.
However, as always, you fail to grasp the point.
Passive sex is generally not all that pleasurable, yet the porn and media portrayal of sex quite often is that the woman is either a) merely a doll to use or b) expected to lay there whilst the man makes her come. Nowhere is the woman expected to take an active role in sex, being responsible for her own pleasure.
Neither attitude is exactly what you would call healthy. A man and a woman should be equal partipants in sex, with both equally responsible for the other's pleasure. Good, giving and game, as Dan Savage would say. And whether that's gentle lovemaking in a bed full of rose petals, or a quick bang up against the wall, doesn't really matter. You can have a good, hard, meaningless shag without treating the woman like a commodity.
As for cumshots to the face, if she enjoys it then that's absolutely wonderful for you I'm sure. But that's not really the point, the expectation has become that that is what you are meant to do during sex, and that you're a bit weird if you don't like it. Which is really quite bizarre.
I dont agree with any of that paragraph
personal preference- each to their own, but i was pointing out the fact that people in the past have looked at me like i'm a freak for not wanting to do that BECAUSE they watched it on a porno and "women love it, it makes them cum" .
i'm clearly one of these women whose clitoris isn't on her face, so the ability to have an orgasm through that is physically impossible.
If someone insists on girlfriends doing stuff they say they dont like, then theyre a bit of a cunt arent they, and i dont think porn would make someone be like that. Thats more likely to be a view of women thats to do with how they were brought up, maybe how their dad treated their mum etc.
I could forgive someone for trying on a few things in the beginning and possibly getting it wrong at first, before learning what you both liked togehter
IMO this is where porn can cause problems for teenagers - inexperience and naievity from both sexes can lead to, not corruption, coz thats too strong a word but maybe individuals thinking that things work in a way they don't, or that things are the norm when they aren't and generalisations being made. False impressions i guess. young people who may feel that they have to do this a certain way to be "right" or a great lover. Sometimes those things can be things that they may not be comfortable with, but they feel they should coz of how it looks on porn, or they don't feel confident or experienced enough to say "no i dont want to do that".
Teenagers can be impressionable and porn makes an impression. personal sexual preference, a loving relationship and respecting each others choices and thoughts aren't always prevalent in teenage relationships as these things tend to come with age and experience, not always, but usually.
I'm curious, which bit specifically?
In porn, it's far more common for a woman to perform oral sex on a man than it is for a man to perform oral sex on a woman. The terminology used is far more aggressive too- a man "face fucks" a woman or "chokes" her on his cock, but a woman merely has her "pussy eaten". In both cases it happens because the man wants it to, not because the woman wants it to. In both cases the terminology used is designed to show that the man is dominant and his pleasure is all that really counts; he demands oral sex because he likes it, not because the woman enjoys giving it, and he gives oral sex because he gets off on it, not because the woman enjoys receiving it.
BDSM, done properly, isn't like that. Although there's a top and a bottom, there's mutual respect and mutual guidelines. Generally the power rests with the sub not the dom, which is how it should be. I'm not saying women don't want to be taken roughly or have a quick shag against the bins, I'm saying that when that is depicted in the media and pornography it is irrelevant if the woman wants it or not. Her desire isn't the driving force.
ive seen quite a lot of porn and IME the women are hardly ever passive, but i guess it depends what sort of porn you like.
I must admit though, youre right about oral sex performed on women hardly ever being shown in porn, or if they do it, then you can tell theyre doing it badly.
Most porn IS crap and gives an unrealistic view of what women enjoying sex really look like. Most of the time its blatant that theyre faking everything. ive only ever seen a few films where it looks like the woman is actually enjoying what shes doing or else is a bloody good actress.
i dont know if im really the right person to debate it really. Maybe my views are clouded by the fact I actually like the sort of porn where the guy dominates the girl and is a bit mean to her, yet i can still seperate that from real life and wouldnt expect all guys to be into that, and im not sure thats a mindset thats all down to age and experience.
Do girls all really have a terrible time of it in sex these days? I would have thought that girls might well enjoy different things cos theyve seen it in porn too, and if they both like it, then it isnt a problem
It's the difference between having rough anal sex because your boyfriend's seen it on the internet and thinks you should do it, but has appalling technique, and having anal sex because the idea of being taken roughly up the bottom gets you really revved up.
I supppose really it is the difference between the output of, say, Max Hardcore and kink.com. The women involved in the former clearly are just letting him get on with it and not really getting involved, whereas in the latter either they are enjoying playing up to the fantasy or they are really good actresses. I suppose some of it is down to methods of production- the latter are strict about safewords, condom use and the like- but not all of it is.
FWIW I like the rough, dominant stuff as well. It's great when one partner wants to dominate and one partner wants to be dominated.
:yes:
Er...I mean...not that I'm into that kind of thing...:angel:
Oh, you can admit it, Franki. We're all friends here. xD
Well, I'm no expert, having watched my first porn film in 30 years just last week, but I think you're watching an inferior sort of porn. In the film we saw ... which followed the adventures of a temp agency and its workers (with the agency telephonist being constantly shown having sex from behind while on the phone to the clients ) ... in almost every case it was the women seducing the men: the handy man, the plumber, the garage mechanic (a threesome), the bed-ridden husband with the broken leg ... Nearly all started the proceedings with a blow job and then obligingly turned round to be taken from the rear. At no point during the film could any of the women be said to by lying back and thinking of England (though as they were French, this is hardly surprising). Haven't had such a good laugh in weeks! And, yes, it was, we both had to admit, a bit of a turn-on.
A man can generally reach climax within a few minutes of wanking or thrusting, the same cannot be said for women. This is undeniable.
No problem, I'm here to help
You're criticising sexual preference just as SuzyCreamCheese pointed out. Sex should be two-way, but if a woman prefers a more passive approach then who is anyone to criticise? People of both sexes take on all kinds of roles in sex, dominant or submissive, active or passive.
Not really, I find it amusing but it's not particularly my thing.
It'd be bizarre if there actually was a widespread expectation that this is what you are "meant to do" during sex and women who don't like it are considered "weird". But there really isn't.
Are you sure you didn't hear that from a 14 y/o schoolboy on the bus with his pals? Or are you making it up completely...:chin:
Err, actually, women can reach climax very quickly indeed with the right stimulation, albeit not usually through 'missionary position' sex. I don't know where you got this idea.
no actually, it was someone i was seeing and it wasn't the first time that i had come across that sort of ignorance, i'm not into making things up thanks. But you've sort of pointed out the point that i was trying to make - that some young people do believe that it is possible from viewing porn. hopefully they grow up and learn better, but not always.
In the right circumstances it can
Depends on the woman, and her partner.
One of my partners used to orgasm instantly on penetration...
Did she though? We're getting very close to the faking orgasm debate, and I think it's an interesting one. God knows I've done it, it's shockingly easy to do well. If a man's point of reference is porn and faked screaming orgasms, aside from not knowing what pleases women, how will he know when he has?
I think faking one is sort of self-defeating. If he thinks you're getting off, he's going to repeat whatever it is he did, because he doesn't know that it doesn't actually work for you. If you're honest about it, he can try different things and maybe get a more pleasurable result.
Yeah, it surprised me and we talked about it. It happened pretty much every single time. And no, I'm not talking about screaming, head thrashing bullshit. I mean the spasms, lubrication etc
There were others ways that she reached orgasm but that one was almost predictable.
I agree to an extent, but I have had problems in this area so have a different perspective. I may be the only one that says it but I know I'm not the only one that's done it - I'm all about honesty with men that I care about, but every now and then, whether it be with a partner who is new or isn't very good, or I'm just not as in the mood as I thought I was, I deem it necessary
I've done it before, too, as much as I hate to admit it. I wasn't really into the relationship anymore at that point so it was sort of a "to get it over with" thing. xP I do kinda regret doing that because I'm really big on honesty in any relationship, but oh well. Too late to take it back now.
In a relationship where you DO plan to be with them in the foreseeable future, I think faking one is more often just a cop-out so you don't have to tell them that they're going to have to do something different if they want you to get off on it. Then, it would just become too easy to keep doing that. Not only do you not want to admit that they're not pleasing you as much as they could, but you have to avoid admitting that you lied about it by faking an orgasm. It just unnecessarily complicates things.
wowwwwwww. lucky girl?
Yes, so on the whole - "generally" - it's true that men are more easily satisfied than women as it doesn't depend on the man, and his partner, anywhere near the same extent. Satisfaction is almost guaranteed for a man, it really isn't for a woman.
But that doesn't equate to satisfaction. A man can get complete satisfaction within a couple of minutes, even if a woman does have an orgasm on penetration (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that she wasn't faking it since this isn't that uncommon) her lust will not be satisfied.