Time for another ranty thread

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

So, what would you guys do in my spot?

Sometime before yesterday I chatted with her talking about the relationship, and she said, that she's not sure if she wants one right now, to which I said, "ok, I just wanted to know that. Now I know that I don't need to try anymore.", which kinda was the official resignation of pursuing this.

But then she contacted me. Should I show a more doubtful/uninterested side, to have her coming to me? I am afraid that I scare her away, by acting too relationshippy already. I don't really know how to proceed, I feel like I'm on a narrow rope here and I need to play my cards wisely to make it.

hmm... whenever i've said something like 'i'm not sure i want a relationship right now' it's been because i'm too chicken to say that i didn't like the guy as much as they liked me basically

There has been the time when i said that, but i went on to explain exactly why i didn't want a relationship (was not over the ex bf, didn't think it would be fair to anyone else)

So i would try to get her to explain, in plain language, what she means- it's the only way to understand what she is thinking.

Former Member

It'd be pissed off and give her up. She's only gonna keep fucking you around. Let her come to you.

Former Member

Yes, sounds about right. I guess I was just deluded.

Oh man, this even sucks more than straight out rejection.

Former Member

FFS, the place that said they were "letting me go" cause they had too many staff 2 and a half weeks ago, are already recruiting for the exact same hours i was working. WTF?

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

Yes, sounds about right. I guess I was just deluded.

Oh man, this even sucks more than straight out rejection.

Tell me about it bro.

RE: AThiefAWhore... - I would go in and demand a huge WTF explanation.

Former Member

I came on my sodding period today. Hopefully it will be relatively painless because otherwise my exam tomorrow is going to be even more hellish.

Former Member

I listed an auction which finished today. It had 0 bids despite 9 people watching the godamn item (and it was expensive) :banghead:

Former Member

I got into bed to revise at lunchtime, fell asleep, and didn't wake up until dinner. Wasted afternoon

Former Member

we have no water in our house atm

Former Member

geneve wrote: »

Stubbles why don't you just back off a bit and just be 'friends'. I know you want a relationshipwith someone, but are you sure you want a relationship with her? I think generally it's nice to build up a friendship with someone to the point where you pretty much behave as a couple anyway. It seems like you've been quite heavy about starting a relationship with this girl, whereas perhaps she wants one to just develop. I get that you want something exclusive, but you have to have a bit of faith that if you have a good time together you'll grow towards that anyway. And if it doesn't happen then you're not in too deep at the start anyway and it's not such a heart ache.

Yes. I did some thinking over the weekend and I came to the same conclusion. Yes, I do want a relationship with her and not just anyone. Actually I am quite picky and I just like her that way, but I decided to not get in contact with her that much, after all, she contacted me after a few days without a word exchanged after our convo that I said I resign from this, because I can't see a way of that happening.

I will just focus on my work life. It's my last week of bachelor lab project so I got a lot of work to do (I shouldn't even be on here but I'm waiting for the reaction parameters to settle) and hope we will just see each other from time to time and slowly drift into relationship.

Anyway, in June I get my own flat and will live in her vicinity, so it's easier to just invite her over after work, cook something and "watch a DVD".

For the meantime I am actually doing quite good (not heartachy) and I'll see how things fold out without putting any pressure on it, because I think that's what actually drives her off. I am confident that she likes me enough for a relationship, but we'll see if this is enough after all.

Thanks for your relpy.

Former Member

My exam has been delayed by two weeks. What's worse is that it's not everybody's exam that has been delayed. :crying:

I've been pretty hormonal and I just burst out crying after the phone call. I feel like a loser although I know I can only gain by waiting and getting two more week's worth of experience.

Oh well, at least I feel slightly better by writing this out.

Former Member

I hit my head at work today and almost passed out directly onto a 2 year old. Loverly big lump now - at least I'm lucid again!

Former Member

Trying to do a job application but can't concentrate...hence being on here at midnight when it should have been finished hours ago. I hate trying to big myself up on these stupid things. Distractions welcome

Former Member

Well, 14 of us were shortlisted to a round 2 interview last week, for 7 vacancies. That's 50% chance. Not only I have done voluntary work at that place and also have 7 years prior relevant experience, I still failed at round 2. Therefore God knows what criteria the 7 successors made them favourable, and you won't believe how well and truly fucked off I am now. 8 months of bloodsucking off the state and counting. What a waste of life and taxpayers' money.

Former Member

Geneve, it's not quite as rosy when you've been digging into your saving for 8 months unemployed. Plus, if you read my previous post, you will see that I was working for 7 years prior, and because of that, JSA isn't means tested for the first 6 months.

Former Member

geneve wrote: »

In fairness, you're not obliged to use benefits.

My rant, I have been diligent and saved up over 6 months pay in case I find myself job less. If the worst should happen, I have to chomp away through all of that before I can claim any benefits. So really, I would be better off blowing it all on holidays, cars, tvs, iphones etc and therefore become entitled to more benefits. How does that work exactly? :banghead:
12 months more of living destitute and I might just have enough savings to buy a house.

You won't be able to just blow all your cash like that - there are rules about deprivation of capital.

Why is it unreasonable to be expected to use your savings?

Former Member

Benefits are designed to help people if they need it. I know its shitty if you have loads saved up, but you dont need benefits then.

You cant have different rules for different people, if someone needs money then they need it. If they have enough to get by, then its a shame.

I know I sound like a horrible person for saying this, but benefit is just that, a benefit with rules attached. It isnt an entitlement, its a benefit.

Former Member

MrG wrote: »

Benefits are designed to help people if they need it. I know its shitty if you have loads saved up, but you dont need benefits then.

You cant have different rules for different people, if someone needs money then they need it. If they have enough to get by, then its a shame.

I know I sound like a horrible person for saying this, but benefit is just that, a benefit with rules attached. It isnt an entitlement, its a benefit.

Exactly! They can't just give benefits to someone who has a load of money sat in the bank.

Former Member

If they gave benefits to every single person that asked for them, then they wouldnt be able to look after the people who couldnt cope if money dried up.

Sounds shocking, but id rather have a benefits system with a little bit of abuse, than no benefits system at all.

Id prefer to have no abuse of the system at all, but due to human nature that sadly will never happen.

Former Member

I'm sorry to have sparked a debate. There is a difference between wanting to stay on benefits eternally and wanting to find work. It is not like a long holiday. Granted, I had food and a roof, but no disposable income that I once deemed as normality. I want to experience the normality of disposable income, and holidays away that are properly earned, no longer be reliant on handouts. It's not my fault that I'm stuck here. Or maybe it is my fault that 7 years relevant experience and prior voluntary work at the same place wasn't good enough.

Former Member

geneve wrote: »

But why isn't it shitty for people who have loads of money in assets? Or those who wasted loads of money? If they get thousands in benefits, then get another job, what's to stop them blowing all their earnings in the future if they know someone else has provided the safety net for them? The whole point of growing up is to provide for yourself, in good times and bad. There seems to be very little incentive to better yourself any more.

Shall we just leave people to fend for themselves with no money?

Former Member

geneve wrote: »

BThe whole point of growing up is to provide for yourself, in good times and bad. There seems to be very little incentive to better yourself any more.

Try saving money when you're on £13.5K (2003) £14.5K (late-2009) over a 7 year period, while paying a mortgage. Isn't going to happen.

Former Member

geneve wrote: »

Well be fair, taking out a mortgage when you're on less than 15k isn't going to be plain sailing so you can't be-grudge that, that was your choice. And your job and hence salary is also your choice. You've got to be accountable for your own situation. Obviously everyone is at risk of redundancies these days, hence the need for savings but they are relative to your salary.

But is it really a choice? Not everyone can be bankers earning £100Ks per year.

Former Member

geneve wrote: »

But think about what you've said... surely everyone should fend for themselves!!

Using what exactly? At two points during the last 6 years, my parents have had to struggle by because dad has either not been able to work or has had no job through no fault of his own.

They were both on minimum wage before that happened and neither could (and still can't) to save anything.

Former Member

geneve wrote: »

And your job and hence salary is also your choice.

*falls about laughing* Is that really how you think the world works?

Former Member

If people want to talk about the benefit system then please feel free to do it over in the debate section of the boards rather than in this thread. People have a right to feel bad about something without having to listen to frankly insulting opinions about their lives in return.

Former Member

When you reply to someone unemployed who just found out they didn't manage to get a job that they should be able to get work if they want it and that it was their own choice to have a low salary?

That not everyone here deserved to go to university? That someone who needs help from the state simply hasn't grown up yet?

If you can't understand why what you are saying, in the context of this thread is going to be hurtful then I'm not sure you ever will.

But regardless, if you want this discussion please do it in the appropriate forum, we'll be removing anything else that isn't on topic.

Former Member

geneve wrote: »

What did I say that's insulting?!

That its always achieveable to get the job and earn the money you want, when it isnt.

If you are that misguided to not realise how you may have offended someone, I think you need to take a long look at yourself in the mirror.

Former Member

How does everyone have the chance to go to university, do you know how expensive it is?

How is it possible for everyone/anyone to be working for more than minimum wage?

Former Member

Went shopping last night saw a really nice dress in George at asda, so i tried on a size 14 and thought wow that is really big on me i think i might need a 12:yippe:
Then i realised some cow had put a size 16 on a 14 hanger :crying: