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Essential support for under 25s
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Sleeping around isn't wrong, if that's what you want to do. From your post though, you did it for the wrong reasons. Regardless, that was then and this is now. He's disgraceful for what he says. It's way below the belt. Tell him that out of all the men you've had, he's the worst and you can't go on pretending otherwise no longer. You don't want to sleep with lots of men anymore, but the one you want to settle with has to be up to it. Then tell him to close the door on the way out and to istantly forget you address, phone number, name and what you look like.
Hope you managed to have a lovely Christmas despite everything you're going through. I really feel for you and it's difficult to know what to say, but I think one thing is clear here...you need to try any put yourself first.
I can't point the finger because I don't know your boyfriend. However, it's obvious that he has been very insensitive and you're very unhappy. Regardless of who is right and who it wrong, I think you should look at 2009 as a fresh start...with him or without him.
I think you need to speak to someone who understands what you are going through. I good place to start might be Get Connected , They offer a telephone based service for young people like yourself going through difficult times, feeling like there is nowhere to turn.
I genuinely wish you all the best for 2009 and hope it brings you all the happiness you so obviously deserve.
Love and hugs,
S x
I wouldnt say any of that to him, especially the way he has been with her recently, theres no point antagonising him and making herself suffer more.
Just get rid.
"You gotta drop that Zero and get yo'self a Hero".
things have not really got any better, last night he took me out for dinner and before we went i made one simple comment of how i wished he wore a shirt and he went mad and told me he wished i was as thin as my sister and didn't dress like a tart.... i don't think i dress like a tart, he said i didn't make an effort to go to dinner becuase my boots were scuffed.
anyway, after dinner he dragged me to the pub and just wandered off talking to loads of people i didnt know and lots of women which made me really uncomfertable so i asked if we could go home, he took me home and told me it was OVER and he never wants to see me again, i get rreally upset and beg him not to finish it but he just walks out on me and goes back down the pub. supprisingly he came back after an hour, just before midnight and his phone kept going off and he told me he had given his number to three diffrent women when he was out becuase me and him were "over" even though i was ringing him begging him to come home and see the new year in with me...
he said the only way we would get back togther is if he can do what he wants when he wants and im never to moan about it... i had to agree becuase the thought of loosing him and the thought of him with another woman makes me sick...i'm not ready to let go yet.
No, he is the fool.
Seriously I would urge you to sit down and think are you worth all this degradation? Are you worthy of such disrespect? Any reason why you ought to look forward to more crap off him? No, no and f'ing NO!
Woman!! Will you stop!! If you WERE the town bike (which you're not) then why would this absolute stud muffin be with you?
It's a clever tactic by arsehole blokes who like to control their women. make you think you're skanky ho' and you're lucky to have him. that way he makes you feel almost grateful to have him as no-one else would - giving him freedom to treat you like crap.
Well it's all BULLSHIT you hear? You're worth MUCH more than that ok? You are entitled to have a happy relationship with any man, just not that snivveling little shit.
OMG I'm going nuts here!! What a COCK!!
What a COCK!!
That guy is a serious arsehole. If what he says was true (and trust me, it isn't) then why didn't he just walk away then?
Please please please listen to old Quagmire - the guy is a loser and has no idea how to treat women. You're 22, do you really want your 20s to be blighted by that sack of cheap grade shite?
Ok you don't know me or anything but PLEASE believe me when I say the opposite is true. It will drive HIM nuts to see you happy with a bloke who will look after you. So you live in a small town, you know what? That means there'll soon be posters up around the place warning people not to touch the knobhead.
My ex did everything your guy is doing and a hell of a lot more, and i had friends telling me to leave him left right and centre and i didn't because i was scared of being alone and scared of what he would do if i left. But eventually I got the courage and left. i packed all my stuff up when he was at work, gave his mum back my engagement ring and moved back to my house. Ok, we didn't live that close to each other, but we moved in similar circles and i couldn't bare seeing him with other girls at first, and then i thought that they were fools for not seeing what an abusive twat he really is. I was constantly scared about bumping into him when i went to see friends near where he lives, or if he and his mates came to the pub we used to go to, or if he'd start coming and lurking around my house. I still was a bit worried, but luckily i had the chance to move away from mutual friends, away from the pub we used to go to, away from the area, and completely change my life.
Now, I'm still not the person i was before him, but that might take a good while. I've been single now for 9 months, and although i'm completely over him, the scars run deep and its taking a long time to get my confidence back.
I know its scary, and hard, and a whole load of things but if you have any shred of self respect left, do one of the most important things you can and leave. Get another job in another town, move somewhere else, don't have anything more to do with him, because you will become worthless in your own mind if you let in continue. Trust me, i know because that is how i felt, and its utterly soul destroying.
There are places you can go to get out of these situations if you haven't got friends or family you can stay with. if you work with a big company they can quite possibly relocate you, if not, you might just have to look for new work.
PM me if you feel the need, but BE STRONG!
You do realize that you are making yourself ready for a world of pain if you stay.
Think about this: you have the opportunity to leave him now, because he is the real manslut that gives his number out to 3 different tarts who would apparently gladly fuck him, even tho he is in a 'relationship', and he will be known as a wifebeater and manslut. Do you think his girls are worth a pence? fucking dudes in relationships, getting whatever they can in their greedy sausagy fingers, even if a physically and mentally abusive slave holder (I mean come one, he would treat his dog better, if he had one).
OOOOORRR: get left by him, and word spreads around, he left you because you are to dirty and cheap for him and after your magic witchcraft trickery wore off on him, he realized he is not in love with you and he is desperately trying to scrub your dirt off of him and you are the ultimate loser in this game.
Is being in a "relationship" (and I am using this term very loosely here, because it's a dependence from one side and overpowering the other from the other side) so important to you that you risk your sanity and physical well-being by being with someone who will run the rest of your self-esteem so far into the ground until you are a nut-case for the rest of your life and with someone who's a REAL AND ACTUAL DANGER(!) for your health. I mean, one drunken "blooper" and you might have broken bones and then it's just the ol' "I had to put her in her place, she thought she can do whatever she likes".
I thought you were just a little confused and realize what the fuckity fuck is going on when there is an equivocal opinion of this filth of a man, but in reality you are just looking for comfort because you can't deal with your real life anymore and I am losing respect at a fast pace for you, because everyone who wishes himself into slavery shall be a slave in my eyes.
I'm done with that.
The only thing about your past that you should be ashamed of (among things you've said here) is that you didn't get rid of that piece of shit on day one. Do the smart thing and 1)get rid of him now and 2)alert the police.
All of this.
The only way out is to prove you're not the idiot he thinks you are and give him what he deserves.
Hopefully that will get through.
I agree...you take control and get out of this! Show him he can't treat you like this and you're not going to be a door mat any longer. You need to leave him sooner rather than later!