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yeah i really want to, have for years, i actually have some savings and am seriously thinking of moving this summer. it will be scarey though. i do want to get away becuase my bf says that becuase of my reputation around here i will never find a boyfriend that does not think im a slut and he says there is no way i will ever find a bloke willing to marry me round here becuase i'm used goods and no guy wants to make the vilage bike his wife. so i do need a fresh break and to go where nobody knows me
See, he's playing everything his way - and you're panicking and playing right along with it.
It sounds like he indeed just wanted a fight, another chance to put you down and flex his emotional muscles over you. He knew the number was there, and yet only now decided to kick off about it - on Christmas Eve? Nice. You've deceived him? Nah - he's just looking for excuses now.
If you can try and sit down and talk about it with your family, enjoy your time with them and then start thinking about meeting someone you deserve to be with in the new year. You don't need to go into the gory details, just tell them it was a mistake - I'm sure you know they'd be on your side.
Although the future of your relationship is up to you, you're in a relationship with someone utterly despicable right now and can't deserve that. Perhaps due to what he's said or the gossip in the town you think you deserve to be with someone like this, but you don't - no one does.
To be honest I don't know what your previous relationships have been like - but someone you should be with shouldn't ever be abusive or insulting towards you. Whether you've been together 3 minutes, 3 months, 3 years or 3 decades.
The thing is abusive relationships don't really get better - they pretty much get worse. He is really unlikely to be nice to you on Christmas day, because it means so much to you that it goes well. It's the perfect opportunity for him to make you unhappy - which is what seems to make him feel good.
If you want a nice day, have it without him, flog his presents on ebay and get drunk with your family.
I really think that could be the best thing for you!
Just send him down this way and I'll sort the sumbitch out.
This man has no idea how a real loving relationship should be conducted and is mentally breaking you down piece by piece so that he can do exactly what he wants when he wants and you will go along with it. He will continue to make you feel like shit when it suits him, giving you short burst of happiness to make you feel grateful to have him, because that is what he does to make sure that you do not have the courage to defy him or leave.
Please for gods sake just turn of your phone, stop chasing him, tell him that you are at home for christmas day and since he cant behave like a person that has any respect or love for you then you dont want to see him. Yeah he might call you names but its his issue not yours. If you carry on with this relationship you may well end up physically abused in hospital or maybe even dead, find the strength to walk away now.
Regarding telling your parents you dont have to tell them what you have done in your past just tell them of his attitude towards you and how he has pushed you to the floor, so you ended it. Being in a relationship with the wrong person is far far worse than being single.
Good luck with it x x x
but chuck him.
lol, yeah. It sums the thread up nicely anyway.
Here's a police website outlining the support that's on offer, and the legal measures you could take against him.
Try and have a good Christmas, but I think it'll be a lot better if you're surrounded by people who love you, which quite clearly doesn't include this wanker.
Even then, young people will still make mistakes, that's life - nothing you've done warrants the 'slut' label.
Your BF is cock. Get rid, don't sleep with men to make them happy, do it for yourself, else tell them to get fucked.
You;ve done nothing wrong from what I've read. Don't lads take the piss, we're fickle - never forget as a woman you have some serious power and all you need to do is excercise it.
last night he forced me 2 go out even though i was really ill, and looked it. i manged to get him home after 2 hours though which was good of him to come home with me, when we got home and went to bed he refused to cuddle me so i got upset where i was ill and emontional... he flipped out like i have never seen him before. he grabbed me by the throat so many times i though i was going to pass out and he full on punched me in the arm, its bruised and had a lump now, he grabbed me by the hair and threw me around the room, all this becuase i begged him not to leave me on xmas eve. he hit me in the stomach twisted me arms round loads, i was so fucking tempted to smash him round the face with a lamp or something but i knew if i did that he would just do the same and id never see him again.
anyway he stormed out and went to the pub, by this time its past midnight and i tryed ringing him over 20 times but he ignored me so i got dressed and went to look for him, even though im really ill. i found him in the end and we made up.
my mum asked me over xmas dinner where i got them bruises from and i had to lie to her and tell her i got them play fighting. iv spent all xmas day in bed tossing and turning, having hot and cold flushes etc, my bf has just got drunk 2day and has now decided 2 fuck off and leave me to go home becuase he "can't bear to be around me" becuase i make him sick, in both ways.
eairler on in the day i asked him never to hurt me or grab me round the throat again becuase it really scared me but he told me that if i ever got in his way when he was trying to leave the house then i just have to expect the same thing. hes basically got complete control over me. i also asked him to spend boxing day with me to make up 4 me being ill on xmas day and he said the only way he would stay if i let him have sex with me 2day and film it even though i'm the most ill i've been this year, i had to agree becuase i didnt want to spend boxing day alone and would be worried sick if he spent all day down the pub. he proceeded to fuck me even though i was snotty and shakey and make a little video for him to wank over later, but now hes going back on our deal and says he wont come see me 2moro.
im so sorry to blab on xmas day but i dont feel i cant talk to anybody at home. i could never report him to the police as where the town is so small i will be seen as a grass as well as a slag and i cant live with that.
i think hes going to break up with me soon anyway, thats what he says unless i change my attidute.
thanks, merry xmas
Hey, don't be sorry at all. I'm so sorry to hear about what's happened today - it sounds like you're feeling really low and don't feel like you're strong enough to break away from this guy even though you know he is treating you really badly. As Jim said, other people are bound to be more understanding than you think. If no-one at home - is there anyone away from home you can talk to?
if any guy treated me like that, i'd tell him where to go. you deserve so much better than this guy. why exactly are you letting yourself be treated in such a way?
now i don't mean to patronise you so im sorry if i do but when i was younger, i had a boyfriend just like yours. he had COMPLETE control over me. if im completely honest, i was a complete emotional wreck the whole time i was with him. i was constantly on edge and my relationship with him can only be described as horrible. it took me over 3 years to actually have the guts to leave him. i thought that he was 'the one', i thought i didn't deserve any better and being the fool i was, i thought he'd change but guess what? he never did. i am now with a lovely man and when i look back at that relationship, i actually cannot believe how much of an idiot i was for staying with him.
don't make the same mistake i did. don't waste your life feeling miserable, worthless and on edge because you don't deserve it.
please leave him hun
What you've said about him in this thread has proven what an utter monster he is. Please get out now while you can. Don't worry what others will think about you (I'm sure they'll be on your side) as long as your safe and happy that's all that matters.
Cant you see its better being alone than getting your arse kicked on a weekly basis?
Hopefully you will realise this yourself sooner rather than later.
Too fucking right. The man doesn't love you, so stop fooling yourself into thinking he does, or ever will. Break up with him now, or you'll only get hurt even more. You're worth well more than this, and to be frank, absolutely nothing would be better than him.
You deserve so much better than this guy!!! This guy isn't worth keeping, there are guys out there who will love, appreciate and respect you. Honestly there are. He might seem like he has good and bad points, but these bad points are not ones anyone should have to put up with!
The people who've cheated on you or treated you badly in the past might have knocked your confidence, but you can get it back. You deserve just as much respect as any other girl, so don't settle for anything less.
Please please consider what everyone has said. Your happiness should always come first!
GET RID OF THE FUCKING LITTLE SHIT NOW