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How about. 'Fuck you.'
so does he really, or are you just convincing yourself?
this is not a compliment in my eyes, rather grounds for divorce.
who cares about that? It's not like a girl should have to say "wait, we can't have sex. I slept with 5 men in my life, and sleeping with 6 would make me a nasty, filthy whore." Your boyfriend is primitive, that he is a joke in comparison to cave men. Sleeping with any number of people in your life is neither a measure for being a hero nor a slapper.
The fact that you are accepting his horrible debasements shows that you do not understand that, and that it's your liability to live in shame. And it's just getting worse by the day.
Sorry about getting so worked up, but reading all this makes me so sick.
And this might sound somewhat familiar....
You dont deserve to be absued, and you need to find the strength to leave him. I couldnt care less if hes nice to you whens your not arguing, phyiscal and mental abuse should be a no-no in any relationship.
And I wouldn't worry about that. If gossip's a bitch then word will have it that he's a wifebeater. Doesn't sound so good to me if I were him.
Don't let "the small town" and other stuff be irrelevant excuses.
he kicked off becuase i had a bloke on my phone who is a good mate of mine and we happned to have a drunken snog 5 years ago, and he kicked off at me calling me a slag for having him on my phone even though hes a really good mate of mine. he's called me some really nasty names this morning and it hurts so much.
i'm going to seriously think about leaving him after xmas bacause i can't mentally handel this anynmore
Your 'man' sounds like a nasty piece of work, and as people have said, the behaviour/abuse is only likely to get worse. Sod the fact you live in a small town, you need to get out of this now, before you become another unfortunate statistic. This guy sounds like he has real mental issues, which won't be any good for you in the long (or even short) term.
Stop trying to call him, as you're just playing into his hands. He's got you thinking that it's YOUR fault, which is how it always ends up: you blaming yourself for his behaviour.
Do you live with your boyfriend?
Hes nice to you sometimes and then othertimes he treats you worse than the shit on his shoe.
This is a classic way for an abuser to get their hooks into someone. Creates an insecure attachment so you constantly think because hes nice sometimes, then that is the "real" him. Its not. It feels like such a strong love but it isnt. Love is two way. Anyone who loved you would NEVER EVER think those things about you. What do you think love is??
You accept it because youre believing what he says. That you ARE all these bad things because you slept around.
It isnt bad that youve slept around as long as you didnt abuse anyone along the way. What hes doing is a million times worse than anything youve done - AND hes done what you have done and more. You will NEVER be able to win here in this relationship. He will always think youre shit and he is happy to grind you down and make you feel worse and worse. He sounds like a sadist to me.
I really hope you find the strength to just tell him to fuck off, and if he finds someone else, then feel sorry for the next woman he screws up in the head. I can assure you, it wont be just you
sending some hugs (())
By the sounds of it he has a pretty intense jealous streak and it'll probably only get worse. I've just came out of a relationship where my ex was controlling, extremely jealous and pretty abusive (not physically).. the sad fact is, no matter how much they say they'll change it's likely that they never will.
My ex used to have double standards like your bloke, she could have as many lad friends that she wanted but if I so much as spoke to another girl I'd get grief for days!
My personal advice.. take it or leave it.. would be to chuck him, the likelyhood is he'll never change, even if he promises to (although I don't think yours has any plans on changing) and the stuff you're going through now will probably get worse.
You don't deserve to be treated like shit or made into a scapegoat so he can take his issues out on you. Good luck!
Do you think you can sort things out? I don't think he's having any of it. He just calls you whatever he pleases, because he knows he has you on a short leash. I would change that, asap, meaning: right this minute, not waiting after christmas.
How do you think is it possible that "things work out"? and that he's a lovely boyfriend all of a sudden?
It's clear that you are in the denial-phase right now, but it's a tad too extreme I think. Wake up and get outta here.
no we don't live togther, i still live with my parents and he has his own place but we tend to spend time at mine. i don't want to talk to anybody about this because i am 2 embarased.
you are right, my head is telling me 2 fuck him off but my heart can't let go. he's so sweet and loving sometimes and i don't want to loose that. i just wish he would respect me.
if we split up then it would be me who came out of it looking worse becuase he is so popular around town, with women and men, the blokes are scared of him and the women wanna fuck him, so hes a winner all round where i will just be looked upon as some little slag who was lucky to be with him
WHO GIVES A SHIT?! Seriously, what people think of you should be the least of your worries in a situation like this! Unfortunately, his mind games/abuse have got you thinking exactly this way.
Read what Suzy posted. Then read it again. Then again.
Does he need to abuse you so hard that you are mentally broke down and need to be hospitalized? Does he has to threaten you with a knife? or maybe break your arm, while bullying you?
I think no good words will help you and we can't force you to do the right thing. It's sad that you've been drawn so far into it, that you believe what he's saying and that you are dependent. What might help you is call a womans-line and hear from professionals who deal with this stuff daily that you are a class A exemplary case of domestic abuse.
You are taking great harm, don't underestimate it. Great mentally harm that might maim you for a life time, and it starts with physical harm too. Talk to your parents at least! There is no need to be embarrassed to be a victim of abuse. and SOD what other people are thinking of you for just a minute and do what helps YOU, not your reputation.
he just phoned me and said hes mad at me for having that guy on my phone and he will only come and see me this evening if i admit im in the wrong and delete him, iv had to say yes becuase i dont want to be alone at xmas and will be worried sick about who or what hes going to be doing 2night if i dont say i'm sorry
Oh dear.
See, he has pretty much complete control over you. You haven't done anything wrong, and yet you're apologising. Sounds like he will happily go out and fuck somebody else if you don't apologise - exactly what does that say about your relationship?
You WON'T be alone at Christmas. You live with your parents.
I hope you enjoy Christmas - but I can tell you straight up, right now, that he will never stop this abuse. It may seem to stop for a short while, then it will all come out as he will have been building it up into a rage.
Wake up.
what do your parents think?
i have not spoken to them about it, i dont want to its embarassing.
More embarrassing that being shoved to the floor, hiding bruises and being called every name under the sun? More embarrassing than being humiliated, treated like a piece of shit, being mentally abused?
Wake up.
I can see why you'd feel embarrassed because when you're younger you tend to feel embarrassed when things go wrong in your relationship. For example if a boyfriend cheated on you, you feel ashamed/embarrassed to tell friends because you think this is somehow a reflection on you. Well it isn't. Sometimes boyfriends turn out to be arseholes and it's up to you to recognise this, be strong, dump him and move on. You will meet someone one day who will give you all the love and respect you deserve and you'll look back at this relationship now and think what a bastard he was, thank god I'm not with him anymore.
It's in the past. You don't have to go into too much detail when talking to people about the past - but the present is a different matter.
EXACTLY what I was thinking.
It's not the easiest thing in the world, but it's far from the hardest.