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He puts football before me :(

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    til next season.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    til next season.

    I'm hoping we will be living togther by then, which will mean we aint long distance which means football wont be ANY problem at all. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You say you're not making him choose, but then you say you want him to pull out of some matches to go see you. That's making him choose in my book.

    I'm with the people who said that you should just not make the effort to go see him for a while, and see if he gives a fuck enough to come and see you. If he doesn't, then you have your answer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Addict wrote: »
    You say you're not making him choose, but then you say you want him to pull out of some matches to go see you. That's making him choose in my book.

    I'm with the people who said that you should just not make the effort to go see him for a while, and see if he gives a fuck enough to come and see you. If he doesn't, then you have your answer.

    but if i do that then thats still making him miss football to come and see me! i cant win either way, and he sed hes happy to give up a few matches (non importnat ones, which is fair enuf) to see me, so therefore I AM NOT MAIKING HIM CHOOSE :mad:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ±Lover± wrote: »
    :confused: :eek2: lol

    ok well to sum it up the season is ending soon, thank fuck, and all this will be forgetten :D

    But how is the relationship when it isn't football season?Does he make more effort then? Obviously I'm only going from what you've written but it seems like its a bit of a one-sided relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    But how is the relationship when it isn't football season?Does he make more effort then? Obviously I'm only going from what you've written but it seems like its a bit of a one-sided relationship.

    yes before the football season started he made so much more of an effort to come see me which was great as the relationship was equal and we were taking it it turns.

    the season ends soon, within the next month i think, and then i'm hoping things will go back to normal.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    xsazx wrote: »
    Shouldn't be long Ad's team finish for the year this saturday (previous posponment from flooded pitch)

    I'd definiately see how much of an effort he makes (whilst the seasons still going) if you don't initiate anything as it might disillusion him at little that you won't just follow him where he wants if he doesn't put the effort in also.

    he KNOWS thats i am fed up of doin all the travaling and he also knows that when the season is over that i expect things to go back to being fair, taking turns with the travel. and i cant bloody wait!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    xsazx wrote: »
    yeah but all the while you're still willing to drop everything to go over to him, he won't see the need to make the effort to visit you himself (as it's less effort just to wait for you to do the work). I'd definately have words or just visiting less frequently unless he offers to do more in return (even if it was just coming over for friday night and going back)


    i just spoke to him and there is only a few more matchs left so it aint really a problem anymore, he knows i wont drop all my plans for him as everything has to be planned so i know wen im going up and when i aint.

    Anyway, thanks 4 all ur comments xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Break his legs. Problem solved.

    Oh hang on, that'd mean you'd still have to do all the travelling.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ±Lover± wrote: »
    yes before the football season started he made so much more of an effort to come see me which was great as the relationship was equal and we were taking it it turns.

    the season ends soon, within the next month i think, and then i'm hoping things will go back to normal.

    Well, if the relationship is usually equal and it's only because he's playing games during the football season that you see less of him, I think it is a situation you will just have to put up with. You know that he plays footy and I don't think it's fair of you to ask him to miss games. That's like my boyfriend asking me to miss my gym and I wouldn't be happy, nor would I be willing to do that because it's important to me. Unfortunately for you, this is something that is part and parcel of the relationship. I wouldn't like it either but I'd have to either just accept it, or leave it. Obviously if you two are planning to move in together then this will make things alot better for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya

    I haven't read the replies to this topic and only skim read your post so don't know if this advice may be helpful or not.

    My boyfriend is football obsessed. We've been together two and a half years and I'd say for the first year and a half it was the main cause of arguments. He'd go to watch the local team on Saturday, then play football TWICE on a Sunday (morning and night). I went with him on Saturdays as I've supported them for years also (it's how we met) but it did annoy me that he was gone pretty much all Sunday. It's not just the football, it's the big meeting they have at pub after which means pretty much the whole days gone. He would never miss a game for me either which at first would really annoy me. We couldn't go away for the weekend anywhere etc.

    This season I decided to start going to watch him on a Sunday morning. He loves it that I'm there watching him show off and it means we can still spend time together. I then go along to pub with him and the rest of the team afterwoods too. I actually do enjoy it now and he likes me been there. It's stopped loads of arguments between us. The only time it does cause a disagreement is when I don't wanna go 'cos it's freezing :lol:

    He still won't give up a game though but I'm more understanding now. I know how seriously they all take it, and that if he misses a game he might not be able to get back in the team and he'd be gutted. He's been playing Sunday league for years and just 'cos I've come along he isn't gonna stop. Saying this though, he is prepared to miss a couple of games for holidays in October and January which is quite a big change. I'm sure nearer the time though he'll try to get out of it :rolleyes: ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OKay I've read the OP and this is what I think

    -He likes you but football is important
    -It's very unlikely things are going to change
    -You're either gonna have to put up with it or confront him that you're not happy and you want to see him more

    Can't you go and watch him or something? Get to know his football friends as well and you'll feel more involved in that side of his life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, I think that he has made a commitment to the team as well as to you, but he should be contributing with the travel issues, especially if he has a car and you don't. It would be unfair for him to just abandon his team, or you, so you just need to find some sort of compromise
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    Well, if the relationship is usually equal and it's only because he's playing games during the football season that you see less of him, I think it is a situation you will just have to put up with. You know that he plays footy and I don't think it's fair of you to ask him to miss games. That's like my boyfriend asking me to miss my gym and I wouldn't be happy, nor would I be willing to do that because it's important to me. Unfortunately for you, this is something that is part and parcel of the relationship. I wouldn't like it either but I'd have to either just accept it, or leave it. Obviously if you two are planning to move in together then this will make things alot better for you.

    My thoughts exactly.
    when i go to his i get left on my own in his bedroom every sunday moring untill about 1pm

    Go out and do something then?:confused: I seriously doubt he's told you to stay in his room until he's finished playing football.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bloody hell, this thread backfired spectacularily.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GhostGirl wrote: »
    This thread has made me understand men more.

    I think in this country football is the closest most men get to being in a tribe. In other cultures they'd go hunting together - here they just go to Tesco.

    Sports for men and being part of a team probably fills a need to belong that women fulfill in other ways.




    tribe <script>play_w("T0346100")</script><object style="margin: 3px 3px 5px;" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,0,0&quot; height="13" width="10">



    <embed style="margin-bottom: 4px;" src="http://img.tfd.com/play.swf&quot; flashvars="soundpath=http://img.tfd.com/hm/mp3/T0346100&quot; menu="false" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer&quot; height="13" width="10"></object> (trimacr.gifb)n.1. A unit of sociopolitical organization consisting of a number of families, clans, or other groups who share a common ancestry and culture and among whom leadership is typically neither formalized nor permanent.
    2. A political, ethnic, or ancestral division of ancient states and cultures, especially:a. Any of the three divisions of the ancient Romans, namely, the Latin, Sabine, and Etruscan.
    b. Any of the 12 divisions of ancient Israel.
    c. A phyle of ancient Greece.

    3. A group of people sharing an occupation, interest, or habit: a tribe of graduate students.
    4. Informal A large family.
    5. Biology A taxonomic category placed between a subfamily and a genus or between a suborder and a family and usually containing several genera
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