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I'm hoping we will be living togther by then, which will mean we aint long distance which means football wont be ANY problem at all.
I'm with the people who said that you should just not make the effort to go see him for a while, and see if he gives a fuck enough to come and see you. If he doesn't, then you have your answer.
but if i do that then thats still making him miss football to come and see me! i cant win either way, and he sed hes happy to give up a few matches (non importnat ones, which is fair enuf) to see me, so therefore I AM NOT MAIKING HIM CHOOSE :mad:
But how is the relationship when it isn't football season?Does he make more effort then? Obviously I'm only going from what you've written but it seems like its a bit of a one-sided relationship.
yes before the football season started he made so much more of an effort to come see me which was great as the relationship was equal and we were taking it it turns.
the season ends soon, within the next month i think, and then i'm hoping things will go back to normal.
he KNOWS thats i am fed up of doin all the travaling and he also knows that when the season is over that i expect things to go back to being fair, taking turns with the travel. and i cant bloody wait!
i just spoke to him and there is only a few more matchs left so it aint really a problem anymore, he knows i wont drop all my plans for him as everything has to be planned so i know wen im going up and when i aint.
Anyway, thanks 4 all ur comments xxx
Oh hang on, that'd mean you'd still have to do all the travelling.
Well, if the relationship is usually equal and it's only because he's playing games during the football season that you see less of him, I think it is a situation you will just have to put up with. You know that he plays footy and I don't think it's fair of you to ask him to miss games. That's like my boyfriend asking me to miss my gym and I wouldn't be happy, nor would I be willing to do that because it's important to me. Unfortunately for you, this is something that is part and parcel of the relationship. I wouldn't like it either but I'd have to either just accept it, or leave it. Obviously if you two are planning to move in together then this will make things alot better for you.
I haven't read the replies to this topic and only skim read your post so don't know if this advice may be helpful or not.
My boyfriend is football obsessed. We've been together two and a half years and I'd say for the first year and a half it was the main cause of arguments. He'd go to watch the local team on Saturday, then play football TWICE on a Sunday (morning and night). I went with him on Saturdays as I've supported them for years also (it's how we met) but it did annoy me that he was gone pretty much all Sunday. It's not just the football, it's the big meeting they have at pub after which means pretty much the whole days gone. He would never miss a game for me either which at first would really annoy me. We couldn't go away for the weekend anywhere etc.
This season I decided to start going to watch him on a Sunday morning. He loves it that I'm there watching him show off and it means we can still spend time together. I then go along to pub with him and the rest of the team afterwoods too. I actually do enjoy it now and he likes me been there. It's stopped loads of arguments between us. The only time it does cause a disagreement is when I don't wanna go 'cos it's freezing
He still won't give up a game though but I'm more understanding now. I know how seriously they all take it, and that if he misses a game he might not be able to get back in the team and he'd be gutted. He's been playing Sunday league for years and just 'cos I've come along he isn't gonna stop. Saying this though, he is prepared to miss a couple of games for holidays in October and January which is quite a big change. I'm sure nearer the time though he'll try to get out of it :rolleyes:
-He likes you but football is important
-It's very unlikely things are going to change
-You're either gonna have to put up with it or confront him that you're not happy and you want to see him more
Can't you go and watch him or something? Get to know his football friends as well and you'll feel more involved in that side of his life.
My thoughts exactly.
Go out and do something then? I seriously doubt he's told you to stay in his room until he's finished playing football.
I think in this country football is the closest most men get to being in a tribe. In other cultures they'd go hunting together - here they just go to Tesco.
Sports for men and being part of a team probably fills a need to belong that women fulfill in other ways.
tribe <script>play_w("T0346100")</script><object style="margin: 3px 3px 5px;" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,0,0" height="13" width="10">
<embed style="margin-bottom: 4px;" src="http://img.tfd.com/play.swf" flashvars="soundpath=http://img.tfd.com/hm/mp3/T0346100" menu="false" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" height="13" width="10"></object> (trb)n.1. A unit of sociopolitical organization consisting of a number of families, clans, or other groups who share a common ancestry and culture and among whom leadership is typically neither formalized nor permanent.
2. A political, ethnic, or ancestral division of ancient states and cultures, especially:a. Any of the three divisions of the ancient Romans, namely, the Latin, Sabine, and Etruscan.
b. Any of the 12 divisions of ancient Israel.
c. A phyle of ancient Greece.
3. A group of people sharing an occupation, interest, or habit: a tribe of graduate students.
4. Informal A large family.
5. Biology A taxonomic category placed between a subfamily and a genus or between a suborder and a family and usually containing several genera