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My parents do this. Quite a few times when we've had Chinese delivered, they've tipped the delivery person.
This is more of a rant than anything:
I do a work placement 2 days a week at a nursery. A few times I've been asked to answer the door. When I do this, I will get the parents saying hello or good morning to me. One time, I opened the door and a parent was like 'Harvey's just woken up and had no dinner. He won't need a sleep this afternoon' and said some other stuff to me that I didn't quite catch. She could've at least waited until she got in the building.:rolleyes:
I know, but we clearly put 4 announcements out at the end of the day, all the shops in the town centre shut at 4, and half the time even when you tell the people you are closing they just ignore you. I can understand staying in the store as a genuine mistake but really if I heard an announcement saying the store is closing in five minutes I'd be too embarassed to casually carry on looking around until someone was forced to come up and tell me the shop is closed.
As for the whole tipping thing although I do tip waiting staff I don't really see the difference between someone who does bar work, someone who works in retail or in fact in any kind of customer facing role. You have to go out of your way to serve customers, often I spend a good hour running to and from different sides of the shop trying to find a product from a vague specification a customer has given me, running up 8 flights of stairs to check the stock room and back down again, looking for different sizes etc. I'm not saying I think I deserve a tip at all because I'm just doing what I'm there to do, but I find it odd in the UK that we routinely tip people in particular customer facing roles but don't tip people in other roles.
Indeed. I spend about 95% of my day in my new job dealing with customers and its my job to help them, hence why I get paid for it. I don't expect a tip.
C. Where does the river go?
MOS. The sea
C. Wow, really!
Customers had to find a table and then order their food at a food till giving their table number so the food could be delivered. When the pub was busy and there were no tables the conversations always went
C. (with 3 kids and grandparents in tow) I'd like to order some food
MOS What's your table number?
C. We don't have one yet there are no tables
MOS I'm sorry you need to find a table first.
C. there are no tables I want to order now so I don't have to wait.
MOS I'm sorry you really do need a table number
C (Irate) I'll find a table when I've ordered etc etc etc
This conversation would go on for sometime before MOS would give up and take the order and payment and the customer's name.
Half an hour late the food would be brought out and the customer's name shouted. The customer would still be standing in the pub as there were still no tables and now each would have a meal in their hands and nowhere to eat it. IDIOTS
If people were sat outside by the river we would ask them for an approx location as the river bank stretched for approx 1/4 mile and the waiter/ress would have to find them there were also a large number of trees out there. We would get:
I'm sitting on the table
I'm on the grass
I'm by the tree
I'm near the water
But I think the best was "I'm on the shore". On the fucking shore it's a fucking river you dick.
We would get customers coming up to the bar, gazing around (the pub had been re-furbed 3 years previously) and asking "how long has it been like this" We would look confused, look around the pub and then take a step backwards and say "Fuck me I'm in the wrong pub and walk out from behind the bar and through the front door. Well we thought it was funny. Either that or we would look at our watches and say "Ooh about 5 minutes"
I once heard this conversation between a fuckwit snobby customer and a barman:
C I didn't ask for ice
BM You didn't ask for a fucking glass either but you're not complaining about that.
Nice
I was on the till once, and there was a couple queuing, and an old lady with a trolley behind them.
Old Lady: Can you move up please?
Man: (turned round angrily) I'll move up when you stop hitting me in the ankles with your trolley.
Old Lady: Oh, sorry (recoils in fright)
The couple still refuse to move up and carry on being posh and annoying.
The little old lady attempts to put her shopping on the conveyor belt and is greeted with
Man: IF YOU DON'T STOP HITTING ME WITH THAT TROLLEY I'M GOING TO WRAP IT AROUND YOU!!
Aah, manners. I agree the old lady was in the wrong but she really was a nice one. Unless she was actually trying to get him in the shins...
Also, we have a whole fridge of about 10 different types of tomatoes and a woman comes up to me and says "Are these the only tomatoes you have?"
I run a kitchen business now and we have to go to customers' houses to sell them a kitchen and some of them really are fuckwits. There should be a programme about rogue customers instead of traders, some of them are dodgier than a jammy dodger. They all want everything for nothing, don't want to pay and have had a cheaper quote from B&Q.
Yesterday one even asked if I'd fit his kitchen as a foreigner and I'm the Managing Director! :shocking: Idiot.
Guy rings up and orders a delivery, i finish taking order and ask him for his address, he asks me "why?"
Customer - Do you have king prawns in the chicken fried rice?
Me - No sir, we have king prawns in the king prawn fried rice, and chicken in the chicken fried rice.
People who ask me if the food's nice, i'm not about to say "Actually, it's shit, i wouldn't eat here if i was you", am i?
Another pet hate is people saying "You speak english very well" in a patronising sort of way. Always so tempting to tell them that yes i do, and most likely better than they do.
As someone else said earlier, people ringing up and trying to make an order when i have just told them we're not open.
What you are asking and what I said they asked are different questions.
Recommendations I can happily do, or suggesting what someone would prefer if they give me some info. Asking if a particular dish is good or not will always get the answer of "Yes", oddly enough :rolleyes:
and send them on their merry way into the big, wide world.
I work in a cinema and a "upmarket" trendy pizza restaurant and you really do get some wierd and wonderful sorts, also a complete contrast
its not that bad but when someone collects tickets from you at the box office which they've pre-booked
CUSTOMER: I've pre booked some tickets
(usually followed by the obligatory "mate"......oh i'm sorry do I know you, have we met before....."mate".....you do realise that in the animal kingdom, a mate is something you FUCK?!)
ME: ok can I have the card
(they proceed to hand me the card, which I swipe to get the information)
CUSTOMER: I'm not gonna get charged twice am I
ME: (in my head, yes........yes you are ......... its called I'm an awful bastard and you're retarded tax. I'm going to debit your account twice because I felt like it) of course not, i just need to get the information on screen.
now on to the classics at the restaurant
The name of this place has pizza in the title, a guy walks in
"excuse me mate, do you do pizzas here?"
i looked around at a few tables with pizzas everywhere.....
"yyyyyyyyyup" i replied
another one
CUSTOMER: do you do chips?
ME: I'm sorry we don't
CUSTOMER: oh.......alright then..............I'll have chips
and another
CUSTOMER: excuse me these crayons aren't sharp enough, my kids cant use those
(proceeds to knock over her drink all over the table)
CUSTOMER: and now we need another drink and more napkins! (stares at me as if its my fault.....
honestly some people
on his computer he calls himself 'patricia' , and there's a picture of him in a dress.
I didnt ask.
The cashdesk is situated in the middle of the arcade. I've lost count of the number of people who have said "That machine swallowed my money!". When I ask what the machine is called, they just say "That machine over there", usually pointing to a corner. Given that we have over 200 machines in one room, working out what they are referring to is a challenge and a half. Recently, I've started telling them "I can't help you if you won't tell me what machine you're on about", usually resulting in verbal abuse. Prats.
Well, there's two of us who work here and seeing as we don't have penises (yes, two girls, in a fish shop) we get the usual "Is there a man here to serve me?" or Him: "what happened to the old guy?" me: "he left,. 6 years ago. Now how can I help you?" Him: "oh, when's he going to be back? He usually serves me." "Me: HE LEFT SIX YEARS AGO!"
Or the IDIOT who made me cry cause he was so rude to me. His new light was broken and he was in London and needed a new one and was screaming down the phone at me. I told him to take it to a shop which stocked that brand and they'd exchange it and send it back as a return, so that he didn't need to treck back here to swap it. I told him Maidenhead Aquatics DO NOT stock that brand so don't go there. He told me "You don't know London, they f**king won't" and slammed the phone down on me. Wonderful. Considering I'm a regular customer in quite a few London fish shops, and my mates all live in London... :rolleyes: Then he calls back an hour later "I took it to Maidenhead Aquatics and they bloody won't take it back, I told you so!" ... I hung up on him and ignored the phone for the rest of the afternoon.
Or the blokes who return CUT TO CUSTOM SIZE pieces of hose or pond liner and expect a refund.
Or the people who ask me what they need to keep a goldfish so I show them what we have and how many fish will go into it. Then they buy the tank and ask for double the amount of fish I told them. I refuse, so they buy what I let them and then go around the corner to MA and buy the rest. Then come and demand a refund when the fish have died.... :banghead:
And the obligatory "I went to Maidenhead Aquatics and they sell this for this price. Yours are more expensive *points to fish tank*" So I go check my catalogue to see what price the tank should be. MA are selling it at WAY below the TRADE price we pay. "Sorry sir, we'd actually loose money if we sold it at that price. *shows book* this is what we pay for those tanks. This is the RRP. I can give you 10% off the tank if you wanted, but we can't price match with their price unfortunaterly." Them: "Nah I think I'll just go back there." Fair enough. Next day he returns, recipt in hand. "Look, look this is what I paid for that tank!" Me: "Oh, that's nice. How can I help you?" ....turns out it was above our trade price and he was just talking shite. Below the RRP, but we could have price matched it for him. This guy now makes a point of checking the prices between the two shops and being anal over a 10p price difference on food.. and then brings recipts in to prove it. Like I bloody care! He can sod off over to MA if he's that bothered!
I also bring my dog to work, and in the week I'm here on my own. The dog is asleep on my office floor, and customers ask, "oh is he your dog?" ..noooo I've stolen it actually.
And the godawful woman who came in with a 2" deep floating candle bowl, which would barely hold a pint of water... "Can I put a turtle in this? *points to baby turtles in 3ft fish tank* one of them?" "Errrrm, no. It'd be too small?" "Even for a baby?" "Yes. It doesnt' actually fit in that bowl, even as a baby." "Well, what's the cheapest animal I can put in this bowl?" "Try an ant. Or gnat." Perhaps an amoeba... ARGH if people aren't willing to spend money on their animal, they shouldn't be allowed one.
Also, the idiots who come and buy a load of stuff and add on the end "and I'd like ten percent off." WTF?!?!!? Why? What makes you think you deserve 10% off? You don't walk into Tesco and ring it all up and say "and I'd like ten percent off!"
Iiiiiiidiots. Ooh it feels good to have a good ol' rant about idiot customers!
I'm going to ask for a discount in every shop I go now
Some independant shops will. Most will only do it if you ask, and are spending a nice big chunk of cash though, or are a very regular customer. Like if you buy a pond set up or fish tank set up with all the bits etc. The cheek of some people though, one woman asked for 10% off a 40p pond plant basket! ...Then paid for it in coppers. Removing the pound coins from the handful of change as she went :mad: tight. She hadn't seen the prices on it though, so I still charged her full price and told her I'd taken 10% off hehe.
Or ya get the customer who had 10% off a big fish tank set up... then expects 10% every time he comes back in for food or such. It's stoopid and rude. I get a fantastic discount at another local fish shop where I buy my marines from, but if they don't give me a discount one day, I don't complain. Cause discounts are one of those "not on record" kind of things and sometimes people forget. I'm not rude enough to remind them, especially as I don't get an actual figure of a discount... it's like £9?... you can have it for a fiver... £27?... £15. it varies. If they feel like giving me discount one day, I'm very grateful
I think I need to invent a discount card... like what they do at Body Shop! I love my body shop card.
Me: Hiya, can I help you?
C: I want a hamburger...but no meat....
Me: K, so you want just the bun with ketchup in it then
C: No, I want a hamburger without the burger in it.
Me: So thats not a hamburger then is it? Its a BUN WITH KETCHUP IN IT!!!
:mad:
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexactly that.
Up a ladder restocking the bras and a woman walks in
ME: hi do you need any help love?
Her: do you sell bras?
that really tickled me and i had to get someone else to serve her to stop myself from crying with laughter!!
and i hate men coming in asking for a bra, looking at my chest and saying about your size aagghhh!!!
i love my job really tho i think id be board if i did something else lol
Cust: My computer isnt scoring properly.
me: ok i'll just have a look at it (bring scores up on comp screen - look all scores look normal) What exactly is the problem?
Cust: Well its not given me my points.
me: Its because you have a strike (or half) which means you're score cant be calculated til ur next go.
cust: why
me: well the simple explanation is this is how it would effect your score - giv example
cust: But why?
ME : grrr lol bcos thats how the scoring works.
Cust: but my score is wrong now then?
me : no its not wrong its just waiting for you to take your next go so it can calculate the score and it will be correct.
cust: so it'll stay wrong until my next go.
me: well its not wrong, but the score will change when you take your next go.
customer: i dont understand why its wrong tho.
me ARGHHHHHHH call for someone with more patience to go help this stupid man.
Or
Phone call
Me : thank you for calling Bowling world in anytown, how can i help you?
Cust: Is that bowling world anytown?
Me: Yes, can i help you?
Customer: Can i book a Table/ rink!? / pitch/ stand/ aisle/ road/ skittle game ?!
Me: You'd like to book a LANE??
lol how entertaining
always amuses me lol
They are the commonest comedy moments but customers do even more stupid things. Some days im sure that every stupid person in the town comes to speak to ME on one day!! lol
We had our delivery from a big lorry with one of those lowering tailgate things. Anyhoo the palette's on the tailgate, about halfway up when this car stops abruptly by it, a pair of hands reaches out and takes a case (12 bottles) of Grant's whisky. The car then proceeds to drive off with the edge of the tailgate embedded in the side of the car causing a nice, long, wide gash in the side of the car.
Unfortunately for said thieves (now with a gash in the side of their nice, shiny beemer) our sweets and chocolate were put into old boxes for delivery. They actually stole 36 packets of chocolate buttons, 36 bounties and some orbit whilst doing £100's worth of damage to their nice car
Snaf-I aint done nofin
Me-we've just had a phone call about you urinating against that playschool wall
Snaf-I aint done nofin, prove it
Me-You were watched
Snaf-By who?
Me-See that big white box on the pole that keeps moving around to look at you?
Snaf-Yeah?
Me-It's a CCTV camera.....
Idiots.
Love it!!
I popped into the shop for some ciggies and had a natter with Cheryl and Deb (manager). Anyway Cherly says she's going to a Greek restaurant at the w/e so i said she must try a Greek bread and dip as a starter called felatio (bread) and cunnilingus (dip).
Cheryl's not that convinced so me and Deb keep telling her it's true until a customer walks in.
Customer (male)- 20 Benson pleas.
Cheryl - £4.20p please. (scans ciggies, takes money etc)
Cheryl - Excuse me can i ask you a question ?
Customer - Sure
Cheryl - If you were offered cunnilingus would you eat it ?