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Stupid Customers.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Work & Study
I work P/T in my boyf's mum's take away, just being the phone monkey and i've noticed that some customers are just so flippin thick.
For example:
Customer: Hi, Can i order
Me: No, we're closed
C: Okay, so can I have...
Me: I'm sorry we're closed..last orders are at 10:45
C: Oh ok....(long pause). So that's sweet n'
Me: WE'RE CLOSED!
WTF?
Any idiot customer experiences?
For example:
Customer: Hi, Can i order
Me: No, we're closed
C: Okay, so can I have...
Me: I'm sorry we're closed..last orders are at 10:45
C: Oh ok....(long pause). So that's sweet n'
Me: WE'RE CLOSED!
WTF?
Any idiot customer experiences?
0
Comments
Loads
Customer - How much are your Carling ?
Me - 8 for £6
Customer - It's only 8 for £5 down the road.
Me - Well fuck off down the road and buy some then.
-
Customer - How much are your flights to Paris.
Me - No idea, this is an off license.
-
Customer - These 3 wines that are 3 for £10.
Me - Yes ?
Customer - Can i swap one of the bottles for a bottle of champagne and still get them for £10 ?
-
Customer (holding up a bottle of Lambrini) - How much is this Champagne ?
-
Ring Ring, Ring Ring.
Me - Hello Booze Buster how can i help you ?
Customer - What time do you close ?
Me - 10pm madam.
Customer - Oh OK, i'll be there about 10.30pm
(following morning)
Ring ring, ring ring.
Me - Hello Booze Buster, how can i help you.
Customer - Yes i phoned last night to see what time you shut.
Me - Yes ?
Customer - And i was told that you shut at 10pm.
Me- Yes that's right, it was me that spoke to you.
Customer - So why, when i got there at 10,30pm, were you shut ?
-
Customer - 20 Benson please.
Me - Have you got some I.D. please ?
Customer - Ummmmmmmm, i've got a letter from the clinic saying i'm pregnant !
-
Are you up for employee of the month
i once had a customer say to me (when i was in full tesco uniform) "excuse me, do you work here". i looked down at my uniform and said "yes". fool!
No, i'm an escaped mental patient and i've just put anthrax in the pic 'n' mix
Aaaaaaarghhhh that used to drive me mad when I worked on a checkout. Along with (when it was quiet) "Oooh are you waiting for me!" Yes. Yes I'm sitting here just waiting for you, and now you're here! Thank god, I can go home now :rolleyes:
Working in a bar isn't much better. I get these alot
At half 7:
Customer: What time do you stop serving food
Me: 7
Customer: So we can't have food then?
Me: No, sorry
Customer: Oh not even a sandwich?
Me: No sorry the kitchen is closed. We sell bar snacks though
Customer: Ah but I really wanted a sandwich...
WE'RE NOT SERVING FOOD ANYMORE GET OVER IT!
Also at closing time, after the two bells have rung there's always some eejit who comes to the bar
Customer: Can I have...
Me: NO! We've stopped serving
Customer: Aww go on just for me
Me: Sorry, the tills have gone to be counted
Customer: Ah can't I just have a packet of crisps?
:banghead:
Argh customers are sooooo stupid
Customer: Oh, hello, is that Bookshop on Something Street?
M: Yes.
C: So can you help me buy a book?
M: Yes.
C: OK, it's called "Title and Subtitle" and it's by Professor Blah
M: I'm sorry, that's out of print.
C: Oh. Will Foyle's have it?
M: No. It's out of print in the UK; that means it's not available.
C: Oh. What about Amazon?
M: They may have a second-hand copy.
C: But I want a new copy. Will they ahve a new copy.
M: No. It's out of print.
C: So I can't order it then?
That's a very regular exchange.
As is this;
M: Can I help?
C: Yes. I used to have a history book on Britain but I lent it to someone and I need to get a new copy.
M: OK, sure. Do you know the title of the book?
C: Well, no, actually.
M: OK, well no worries. How about the author?
C: I'm not sure.
M: Any words in the title?
C: Britain, I think. Can you just put "Britain" into the computer?
M: I'm afraid that won't narrow it down.
C: Oh. Well it was yellow.
...and so it goes on.
C: (seeing me up a ladder with an armful of books at a very precarious angle) Excuse me?
M: (almost dropping the books) Yes?
C: Do you work here?
I haven't really come across much stupidity... yet.
There was one woman who wanted a different size in a pair of trousers, and we didn't have one in store so she asked if I could ring another store, which I did, but they didn't have any at all there... when I told her she just stood there like she was waiting for me to change my mind and miraculously make the right pair appear.
Customer: do I order here?
Me: No, I'm just sitting in here doing nothing for the sheer hell of it :yeees:.
Then the DANISH come and assume I understand them speaking Danish.
Does that make me a hypocrite??
I get a lot of weird questions, but since it's foreigners that are asking me them I usually don't mind. They're also polite for the most part. A large amount of Icelanders piss me off, however. Stupid, rude and whiney prats.
Also, I've not had a SINGLE woman in a fur coat come in the shop and not whine about prices. I always get the feeling that they made their middle class husbands spend the equivalence of six months' wages on the damn thing just to appease them. I wish I was exaggerating but, I've been waiting for one to come and disprove my theory for the past two years. No luck.
I deal with a lot of genuinely rich people (Cameron Diaz once dropped by) and the majority are polite and pleasant. The fur coat ladies are always Icelandic and always vermin.
Tourist: Does the Palace have a roof?
"Why'd they build the castle so close to the shops?"
I was never ever asked "what time does the one o'clock gun fire?", which makes me a bit sad because it's all most a rite of passage
Don't amazon have some microprinting facilities?
for a while vodaphone had a bug in one of their 0800 numbers, which meant customers would occasionally come through to my home phone. I had people INSIST on giving me their creditcard number
This would come a close second. Last year, I worked in a shop, and this guy came in wanting to buy an 8-pack of Fosters. Clearly, a man with no taste. I was unsure of his age, so therefore, I asked him for ID. His reply was "but I've only just arrived on the park today, so I'm exempt. I can show it to you tomorrow if you like.". I don't know what was more stupid - him asking if he could provide it the next day, or him thinking we'd actually fall for such a line.
omg i hate that too! sometimes i feel like saying 'no' just for the sake of it, why would i be standing there if i wasnt serving?!
i work on the self scan tills sometimes and the sheer amount of thick people is unbelievable. there was this woman last week who kept referring to the till as a 'she' (because it has a womans voice) she shouted me about ten times like 'excuse me, shes said the wrong price for these beans' 'excuse me, shes not scanning this for me' its a friggin computer not a real person!
also last week a man said to me 'excuse me, do you sell cans with beans in?' i was with my friend and i nearly burst out laughing, i thought they were joking. but sadly not.
Client's partner: Can I see my girlfriend?
Me: No, we don't allow men up on the wards *explaining why*
2 minutes later:
Partner: Can I go up and see her?
Me: Like I said, I'm sorry, but you can't go up
Partner: How is she?
Me: *goes up to find out* The nurse said she's fine, still a bit groggy so she's sleeping for now. When she wakes up she said she'd ring me.
Partner: When can I go and see her?
Me: I can't let you go up there I'm afraid
Partner: Can you go and check again?
Me: *after going up again* She's still asleep. Once she has woken up the nurse will see how she's doing and give her something to eat
Partner: So when can I go up?
Me: Sir (don't know why I'm saying sir as the guy is 16), I have already explained that we don't allow men onto the wards. I'm afraid you will just have to wait. Would you like to wait in another room where there's a tv and it's a bit more comfortable?
Partner: No, I'm ok here. Is there any way I can go up and see her?
Partner (after seeing his partner upset at finding out the pregnancy is a twin pregnancy): Does this mean we have to pay double?
Young girl approaching the desk: Hi, I have... an appointment
Me: Ok, let me just find you on the computer. Are you here to have an operation today, or just see the doctor?
Shy girl: I'm here to have an abortion
Shy girl's mother: *Loudly* Come on how sweetheart, I think we all know what you're here for. Speak up a bit so the lady can hear you
box A is full of hats, has a sign on it, clearly saying "hats £x"
box B is full of t-shirts, has a sign on it, clearly saying "t-shirts £y" they're cheaper than the hats.
someone comes over to the till, having picked up a hat. I say "that's x pounds please"
customer "but it says £y on the box..." (having obviously found a hat in the wrong box)
I had to spend ages explaining that the sign said HATS £ x and that it was irrelevant which box they got it from. :eek2: they stormed off in a strop going on about false advertising after a while. idiot.
I thought by law if say it's under a certain price it has to be sold for that?
:yes:.
I once got a video for free because it went through the till at a different price to what the sticker said :hyper:.
in fact, the signs were repeated on the wall in front of the customer at eye level too :eek2: it's not like it said "things in this box, £ x". I'd understand that being wrong!
Yeah if it said 'hats £x' and they tried to charge a different amount thats different. If the customer can't read thats their own problem, the shop has done their bit. Thats like saying if someone puts a can of heinz beans on the tesco value shelf then you can have that can for the value price. No you can't because it will say on the shelf how much each is. Its not false advertising if its in the wrong place
How awful
I think actually its a common misconception that the shop legally has to give you something for a certain price if it is marked up at that price, all to do with contracts or something and the contract between you and the shop only being created when there has been an offer and acceptance of the contract, ie. you've already paid and they've already given you the item. Taking the item to the till doesn't constitute a legally binding contract so they can charge whatever they want because you don't have to pay it, most shops will honour the price though just to keep the customer happy.
Stupid things customers have said in my time as a sales assistant:
American customer: Why don't you have dollars over here? It would be so much easier if you just took dollars
Me: The spoon is in the lid
Customer: Thanks, where is the spoon?
so what if you actually pay for the goods and start walking away? is it yours?
Yep.
I always wonder this. If they make a mistake and you end up paying less than you should, is it fraudulent to say nothing? As a habit I tend to let them know. But if it was like a HD tv and they undercharged me by £200 for whatever reason, I'd be tempted not to say anything and play the ignorance card.
Sorry if I'm hijacking the thread. : As for stupid customers, I broke down laughing when this short angry looking bald body builder type man was holding groceries with everypart of his anatomy and was running around looking for a basket. I left him to it lol. Though the old ladies are dears and I go and fetch them one if they need it.
Can talk for England though.
*picks up phone*
Me: Hello, *******'s, how can I help you?
Customer: Hi, do you deliver?
Me: Nah, sorry we dont. Do you still want to order?
Customer: But you did last week
Me: Errrr, i dont think so, we've never had a delivery service
Customer: So do you know who does?
Me: No
Customer:So your not gonna tell me then? Silly cow *hangs up*
I was fumin over that damn phone call- how are you gonna call me a silly bitch for not being a fuckin yellow pages and knowing the name and number of every delivering Chinese takeaway in Tottenham?
Another thing that annoys me is when people sit and eat half their meal on the little bench we have for waiting. It's a TAKEAWAY....your supposed to TAKE IT AWAY. Flippin idiots.