If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Check out our JD Support Chats every Monday 8pm-9:30pm in partnership with the JD Foundation. They're focused around all things work, retail, fashion, sport and more.
Click here for more info!
Click here for more info!
Best Of
Hi everyone - I’m one of you
Basically. New here so I hope it will show up here?
Dealing with family issues for years to come, in short started to advocating for myself in private help of therapist but still want to see hope because life gets hard and no one else seems to care about me. It’s just myself and without friends it’s very hard… I get sad a lot so I’m hoping to get support or meet someone alike?
Let’s just make it a little less sad I guess even if it’s complicated nowadays.
Thanks
Dealing with family issues for years to come, in short started to advocating for myself in private help of therapist but still want to see hope because life gets hard and no one else seems to care about me. It’s just myself and without friends it’s very hard… I get sad a lot so I’m hoping to get support or meet someone alike?
Let’s just make it a little less sad I guess even if it’s complicated nowadays.
Thanks
Mental health sucks!!!!!! Please read this x
So...........I did put up another post about me getting a new job. So far it's been a month and I hate it. I said I'd try and stay until the end of August, but I'm feeling like leaving at the end of July, which I know is really bad, but my mental health is getting so bad.
For more context, I was diagnosed with ASD January 2024, just after I turned 18 (I'm now 19, 20 in December). I've struggled with depression and anxiety since I was young (not been officially diagnosed, but it's there), around 10 years old when suicidal thoughts started and 12 when I started self-harming. For a few years I've thought that I have BPD, or recently I was talking to a friend and she brought up the fact it might be Bipolar, but trying to read information and decipher the two is kinda confusing.
From talking to my mum, I can tell she isn't entirely happy with the idea of me leaving this job, but she tries to act like it's okay, and sometimes she is genuine as if she knows how bad I'm hurting, but other times she seems annoyed. She does keep telling me I need to go to the doctor if I am going to leave this job, which I know I need to do, but I just don't know how to go about it. Like do I just say I need to make an appointment to talk about my mental health or what??? I know it's a stupid question, but these things just confuse me. I have also just re-applied for PIP, but I have a feeling I'll get denied...again. Especially as I don't really have any evidence for any of my mental health.
I just feel like I'm getting so behind in life. People tell me I'm only 19 and I'm young, but I feel like I've messed up so much of my life already that I'm running out of time. I can't even work to try and live comfortably, let alone save any money. My mum has struggled financially my whole life (not all her fault, she was left in a LOT of debt by my father, which she had to pay off) and I know she never wanted me to end up like her, but that's exactly what I'm doing. I have no money, no motivation, and I'm just proving to her more and more everyday what a disappointment I am. I just feel like the world isn't made for people like me.
What makes it even worse is the fact that my mum has 2 kids who both struggle. I have a twin brother who has ASD and was diagnosed at 4, so has had help his whole life, and is still receiving alternative education and support. But me being diagnosed a lot later, and a lot more of my issues occurring in adulthood, it was always expected that I'd be the one to step up and be the one who could work full-time or go to uni, but that isn't the case. I feel like everything is on me and I'm the one to blame. I've messed up my life so badly, but I don't know what to do.
Anyways, sorry it's a long one ❤️
For more context, I was diagnosed with ASD January 2024, just after I turned 18 (I'm now 19, 20 in December). I've struggled with depression and anxiety since I was young (not been officially diagnosed, but it's there), around 10 years old when suicidal thoughts started and 12 when I started self-harming. For a few years I've thought that I have BPD, or recently I was talking to a friend and she brought up the fact it might be Bipolar, but trying to read information and decipher the two is kinda confusing.
From talking to my mum, I can tell she isn't entirely happy with the idea of me leaving this job, but she tries to act like it's okay, and sometimes she is genuine as if she knows how bad I'm hurting, but other times she seems annoyed. She does keep telling me I need to go to the doctor if I am going to leave this job, which I know I need to do, but I just don't know how to go about it. Like do I just say I need to make an appointment to talk about my mental health or what??? I know it's a stupid question, but these things just confuse me. I have also just re-applied for PIP, but I have a feeling I'll get denied...again. Especially as I don't really have any evidence for any of my mental health.
I just feel like I'm getting so behind in life. People tell me I'm only 19 and I'm young, but I feel like I've messed up so much of my life already that I'm running out of time. I can't even work to try and live comfortably, let alone save any money. My mum has struggled financially my whole life (not all her fault, she was left in a LOT of debt by my father, which she had to pay off) and I know she never wanted me to end up like her, but that's exactly what I'm doing. I have no money, no motivation, and I'm just proving to her more and more everyday what a disappointment I am. I just feel like the world isn't made for people like me.
What makes it even worse is the fact that my mum has 2 kids who both struggle. I have a twin brother who has ASD and was diagnosed at 4, so has had help his whole life, and is still receiving alternative education and support. But me being diagnosed a lot later, and a lot more of my issues occurring in adulthood, it was always expected that I'd be the one to step up and be the one who could work full-time or go to uni, but that isn't the case. I feel like everything is on me and I'm the one to blame. I've messed up my life so badly, but I don't know what to do.
Anyways, sorry it's a long one ❤️
TBQ_9
6
Youth Employment Week - Additional Support Circle! (10th July)
Hey all!
To celebrate Youth Employment Week in July (7th-11th), which you can read more about here, we are going to host a one-off (depending on demand, we may be able to do another one next week too!) Support Circle
What is Support Circle? You can read a bit more about that in our post here if you have never attended one before!
How is this one different? The idea behind this support Circle is that everyone comes with a specific question related to employment - whether about job searching, disliking your co-workers, wanting to change jobs, how to write your CV or hand in your notice.
The general structure of your time will be: 1) presenting your question and explaining about how it is playing on your mind 2) other people in the group feeding back and supporting 3) reflecting on what your next steps might be after having the chance to discuss it
This is a very loose structure, so please do not worry - coming with a question in mind is the most important part!
When is it? Thursday July 10th 3:30-5pm. Confirmation of places will start from Tuesday 8th July!
How many people will be there? We’ll stick to the usual 4 support places with 2 listener spots also available so everyone gets enough time to delve into their struggle/worry!
How do I sign up? If you head to https://forms.gle/vJDfJ3K1F145oL2T6 this form (not the usual Circle form please!) then we can sign up
Presenting a question sounds scary, do I have to? We appreciate that this chat functions a bit differently to what you may be used to for Circle, but we feel having this question to keep the topic on employment will be super beneficial for this space. To make this feel a bit less daunting, we have compiled a long list in the spoiler of example questions.
If any of these resonate, please feel free to use them! They don’t need to be unique or fancy, just something which will help the topic stay work related
Can I talk about work things which don’t relate to my question? For sure! As long as the conversation stays related to employment in some way then that is a-okay!
If you have any questions about how it will work, or if you want us to check over your question, or have any concerns at all about this then please feel free to comment or DM/email us!
We hope to see y’all there!
To celebrate Youth Employment Week in July (7th-11th), which you can read more about here, we are going to host a one-off (depending on demand, we may be able to do another one next week too!) Support Circle
What is Support Circle? You can read a bit more about that in our post here if you have never attended one before!
How is this one different? The idea behind this support Circle is that everyone comes with a specific question related to employment - whether about job searching, disliking your co-workers, wanting to change jobs, how to write your CV or hand in your notice.
The general structure of your time will be: 1) presenting your question and explaining about how it is playing on your mind 2) other people in the group feeding back and supporting 3) reflecting on what your next steps might be after having the chance to discuss it
This is a very loose structure, so please do not worry - coming with a question in mind is the most important part!
When is it? Thursday July 10th 3:30-5pm. Confirmation of places will start from Tuesday 8th July!
How many people will be there? We’ll stick to the usual 4 support places with 2 listener spots also available so everyone gets enough time to delve into their struggle/worry!
How do I sign up? If you head to https://forms.gle/vJDfJ3K1F145oL2T6 this form (not the usual Circle form please!) then we can sign up
Presenting a question sounds scary, do I have to? We appreciate that this chat functions a bit differently to what you may be used to for Circle, but we feel having this question to keep the topic on employment will be super beneficial for this space. To make this feel a bit less daunting, we have compiled a long list in the spoiler of example questions.
If any of these resonate, please feel free to use them! They don’t need to be unique or fancy, just something which will help the topic stay work related
How do I deal with difficult co-workers?
How do I approach a chat with my manager?
I need more support at work, how do I ask for it?
I want to hand in my notice but how do I do it?
I’m not sure if I want to work here anymore, what do I do?
Why am I not getting any job offers?
How do I do well in interviews?
I don’t know how to balance school and work, any tips?
How do I approach a chat with my manager?
I need more support at work, how do I ask for it?
I want to hand in my notice but how do I do it?
I’m not sure if I want to work here anymore, what do I do?
Why am I not getting any job offers?
How do I do well in interviews?
I don’t know how to balance school and work, any tips?
Can I talk about work things which don’t relate to my question? For sure! As long as the conversation stays related to employment in some way then that is a-okay!
If you have any questions about how it will work, or if you want us to check over your question, or have any concerns at all about this then please feel free to comment or DM/email us!
We hope to see y’all there!
Leyla
5
Feeling alone
I’ve been feeling quite alone, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I think about having a girlfriend a lot and sometimes even say things like “Mrs” or “missus” to feel more grown up. I’ve never had a relationship, though I’ve come close before but something always seems to get in the way. I’ve tried dating sites but many of them require payment just to see who likes you or to message people, which I find frustrating. Most of the time I don’t feel that spark with people on there and when I do reach out, I rarely get a reply. I don’t feel confident using dating apps and being around 5 foot 4 I sometimes worry that might limit me, even though I know I have good qualities. I’m loyal, funny, ambitious and would genuinely look after the right woman. I’ve been struggling a long time and it can be really helpful to have someone or something we care about and for them to care about us too. I feel that way with this community but it’s unfortunate because early this morning I was lying in bed feeling upset and overwhelmed thinking that eventually I’ll have to finish off here. I still have time left but I believe having someone in my personal life who I care about and who cares about me would be helpful in a more permanent way. Someone who supports me and who I can support back.
I always thought I’d wait until I had a job before getting into a relationship and I probably still will but if the right person came along now I’d consider it. I’ve felt more lonely recently and the idea of having someone now feels comforting, though I’m not putting a lot of effort into actively searching. Ideally I’d like to meet someone naturally through work, hobbies or places I go rather than relying on apps, though I’d still consider using them. I don’t have everything clearly planned out but I know what I want long term. I want someone to go on holidays with, buy a house with, enjoy life and nice cars with and build a future together. A few months ago I didn’t even speak to any females on social media but now I do through a group chat for my course. They’re more just friends though, not really my type and I don’t feel that spark, which I hope doesn’t sound rude. It’s just hard sometimes, trying to get a job, find a relationship and move forward in life. Even though I’m focusing on getting into work, the thought of being in a relationship is on my mind constantly. I’m 23, nearly 24, and I’ve never had a relationship, never hugged a girl and I’m still a virgin, which makes me feel even more behind.
I always thought I’d wait until I had a job before getting into a relationship and I probably still will but if the right person came along now I’d consider it. I’ve felt more lonely recently and the idea of having someone now feels comforting, though I’m not putting a lot of effort into actively searching. Ideally I’d like to meet someone naturally through work, hobbies or places I go rather than relying on apps, though I’d still consider using them. I don’t have everything clearly planned out but I know what I want long term. I want someone to go on holidays with, buy a house with, enjoy life and nice cars with and build a future together. A few months ago I didn’t even speak to any females on social media but now I do through a group chat for my course. They’re more just friends though, not really my type and I don’t feel that spark, which I hope doesn’t sound rude. It’s just hard sometimes, trying to get a job, find a relationship and move forward in life. Even though I’m focusing on getting into work, the thought of being in a relationship is on my mind constantly. I’m 23, nearly 24, and I’ve never had a relationship, never hugged a girl and I’m still a virgin, which makes me feel even more behind.
Being in a workplace where you can’t tell if everyone hates you or not is wack
And no, it’s not my poor self esteem telling me that everyone hates me. It’s seeing coworkers behave like best buddies with others, only to insult them behind their back. Literally everyone does this.
I guess the most accurate way to tell is whether they talk to you first or not, idk.
I guess the most accurate way to tell is whether they talk to you first or not, idk.
Working is so hard...
SORRY GUYS, THIS IS A LONG ONE!!
I'm 19, so right now everyone expects me to be at uni or working full time. I did consider uni last year, but decided I just couldn't do it at the time. It was only gonna be my hometown uni so staying local, but I just wasn't ready. I am considering The Open University (online) this year because I love learning and could still be in the comfort of my surroundings and can plan my schedule for me. But then how do I keep myself afloat? How do I make money?
My mum isn't able to help financially as much as I would need. I'm currently on Universal Credit, but the constant nagging to get a job and look for a job and to do better doesn't help my mental health at all. I was also referred to another organisation by UC who "help" with employment, but it's pretty much the same thing - nagging and no help or understanding. I would say I'm on the borderline of agoraphobia. Struggling to leave the house, becoming axious about being out and about, anxious about using public transport. I am diagnosed with ASD, but also believe I do have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and the depression and anxiety is just very obvious.
I've had a couple jobs before, each a couple months here and there, but I just can't find what I want to do. I love kids, but working with them is always going to be full-time and long, demanding hours, and I quite frequently end up in a burn-out and just can't get up and leave the house. I did work at Dunelm for a couple months at the end of last year, but was given a compromise to leave or I would be fired due to absences because of my mental health. That job I did quite enjoy, although it's a bigger store, I would only do delivery, which was quite satisfying to put away and organise things, or I was on tills, obviously having to interact with people, but I could handle it. It was a routine that I had mastered and could just focus one thing at a time.
I have just got a job at Lovisa (jewellery store) and it is a small shop, but there are so many things that just bug me that I can't do anything about. It will be things like the layout of the store or how things are handled. But I'm giving myself 2 whole months until the end of August and if I don't like it I'm going to leave because then I'll be getting to the point of starting the Open Uni.
Of course I'm still going to try and find what I want to do, but truthfully I've been struggling for so long that I never planned to be here this long, and now that I am I have no clue how to navigate life. Just because I'm technically an adult I still need help.
Again, sorry for long message. Any replies are greatly appreciated xxxxx
I'm 19, so right now everyone expects me to be at uni or working full time. I did consider uni last year, but decided I just couldn't do it at the time. It was only gonna be my hometown uni so staying local, but I just wasn't ready. I am considering The Open University (online) this year because I love learning and could still be in the comfort of my surroundings and can plan my schedule for me. But then how do I keep myself afloat? How do I make money?
My mum isn't able to help financially as much as I would need. I'm currently on Universal Credit, but the constant nagging to get a job and look for a job and to do better doesn't help my mental health at all. I was also referred to another organisation by UC who "help" with employment, but it's pretty much the same thing - nagging and no help or understanding. I would say I'm on the borderline of agoraphobia. Struggling to leave the house, becoming axious about being out and about, anxious about using public transport. I am diagnosed with ASD, but also believe I do have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and the depression and anxiety is just very obvious.
I've had a couple jobs before, each a couple months here and there, but I just can't find what I want to do. I love kids, but working with them is always going to be full-time and long, demanding hours, and I quite frequently end up in a burn-out and just can't get up and leave the house. I did work at Dunelm for a couple months at the end of last year, but was given a compromise to leave or I would be fired due to absences because of my mental health. That job I did quite enjoy, although it's a bigger store, I would only do delivery, which was quite satisfying to put away and organise things, or I was on tills, obviously having to interact with people, but I could handle it. It was a routine that I had mastered and could just focus one thing at a time.
I have just got a job at Lovisa (jewellery store) and it is a small shop, but there are so many things that just bug me that I can't do anything about. It will be things like the layout of the store or how things are handled. But I'm giving myself 2 whole months until the end of August and if I don't like it I'm going to leave because then I'll be getting to the point of starting the Open Uni.
Of course I'm still going to try and find what I want to do, but truthfully I've been struggling for so long that I never planned to be here this long, and now that I am I have no clue how to navigate life. Just because I'm technically an adult I still need help.
Again, sorry for long message. Any replies are greatly appreciated xxxxx
TBQ_9
6
Taking small steps forward
I know a lot of this is probably repeated, so I’m sorry for sounding like a broken record. But I just need to get it off my chest. I constantly compare myself to people my age and it gets to me. I don’t have a job, I’ve never had a girlfriend, I’m still a virgin, and I still live at home. No matter how much I try, I feel like I’m behind in life. It’s so extremely hard not to compare ourselves to other people. I’ve been doing courses to build up skills like communication, teamwork, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. These courses aren’t a waste of time, and I’m trying to use them as a stepping stone. What hurts most is how I’ve tried to turn things around in the past by pushing through low points and trying to redeem myself only for things to fall apart again. I remember going back to college after a rough time hoping it would be different but the environment was so negative. People were rude for no reason even when I was just trying to be polite. That kind of thing sticks. It sucks being anxious in a new place fearing judgment and then actually having people be rude to you. Those experiences left a mark, and even now in more recent courses I still feel scared to talk to people. I carry those past moments with me, and they’ve shaped how I feel in new situations.
I do feel pressured, like it’s a race, especially since it’s been about three years since I finished college and I still haven’t found where I want to be. Life moves fast sometimes. One minute people are in similar positions to me, and the next it feels like everyone is getting married, buying nice cars, moving out, or graduating. It’s so, so easy to feel left behind by it all. I really think it needs to be normalised that it’s okay not to know what you want to do in your twenties. Since finishing college, I’ve tried more training and other paths, but not everything’s gone to plan. Sometimes I didn’t pick things up fast enough, or it didn’t feel right. I’ve been searching for something that gives me direction. I want to be clear that I haven’t finished until I take my next steps, which could potentially be another course. That can feel a bit rubbish sometimes, especially after such a long road trying to get into work, but it might be the best way to get me there.
With my experiences and the way I feel about myself, I find it hard to take compliments. If someone has positive things to say about me but also negative things, the negative stuff overcrowds the positive. I feel any positive stuff people compliment me on isn’t good enough. I know I haven’t given up. I’m still trying. It really gets me down being out of work. I don’t want to live a life with no structure or purpose, and that honestly scares me more than anything. If I believed that’s how things would always be, I’d feel completely hopeless. I’ve had times where I’ve felt overwhelmed and mentally drained. It hurts to see that I’m still out of work after all this time, and I sometimes dismiss the things I have achieved like they don’t count. But I’ve opened up about this because keeping it all in would’ve made things worse. I know I’m not where I want to be, but I haven’t stopped trying. I still believe I’ll get there, even if it’s taking longer than I hoped. Again I'm sorry for being like a broken record repeating everything but it is hard, I'm sorry if I'm fustrating anyone.
I do feel pressured, like it’s a race, especially since it’s been about three years since I finished college and I still haven’t found where I want to be. Life moves fast sometimes. One minute people are in similar positions to me, and the next it feels like everyone is getting married, buying nice cars, moving out, or graduating. It’s so, so easy to feel left behind by it all. I really think it needs to be normalised that it’s okay not to know what you want to do in your twenties. Since finishing college, I’ve tried more training and other paths, but not everything’s gone to plan. Sometimes I didn’t pick things up fast enough, or it didn’t feel right. I’ve been searching for something that gives me direction. I want to be clear that I haven’t finished until I take my next steps, which could potentially be another course. That can feel a bit rubbish sometimes, especially after such a long road trying to get into work, but it might be the best way to get me there.
With my experiences and the way I feel about myself, I find it hard to take compliments. If someone has positive things to say about me but also negative things, the negative stuff overcrowds the positive. I feel any positive stuff people compliment me on isn’t good enough. I know I haven’t given up. I’m still trying. It really gets me down being out of work. I don’t want to live a life with no structure or purpose, and that honestly scares me more than anything. If I believed that’s how things would always be, I’d feel completely hopeless. I’ve had times where I’ve felt overwhelmed and mentally drained. It hurts to see that I’m still out of work after all this time, and I sometimes dismiss the things I have achieved like they don’t count. But I’ve opened up about this because keeping it all in would’ve made things worse. I know I’m not where I want to be, but I haven’t stopped trying. I still believe I’ll get there, even if it’s taking longer than I hoped. Again I'm sorry for being like a broken record repeating everything but it is hard, I'm sorry if I'm fustrating anyone.
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) W/C 07.07.25
I wrote in my journal today about everything thats been happening in my head over the past few days (SH and SI (with a plan etc)) and my boyfriend wants to read it but i dont know if i can put him through that because i know he'd just worry and I cant do that. I wish I could have a whole reset on everything because ive screwed up so much in the last few weeks/months. I should punished myself for the drama ive caused
