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Working is so hard...
TBQ_9
Posts: 3 Newbie
in Work & Study
SORRY GUYS, THIS IS A LONG ONE!!
I'm 19, so right now everyone expects me to be at uni or working full time. I did consider uni last year, but decided I just couldn't do it at the time. It was only gonna be my hometown uni so staying local, but I just wasn't ready. I am considering The Open University (online) this year because I love learning and could still be in the comfort of my surroundings and can plan my schedule for me. But then how do I keep myself afloat? How do I make money?
My mum isn't able to help financially as much as I would need. I'm currently on Universal Credit, but the constant nagging to get a job and look for a job and to do better doesn't help my mental health at all. I was also referred to another organisation by UC who "help" with employment, but it's pretty much the same thing - nagging and no help or understanding. I would say I'm on the borderline of agoraphobia. Struggling to leave the house, becoming axious about being out and about, anxious about using public transport. I am diagnosed with ASD, but also believe I do have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and the depression and anxiety is just very obvious.
I've had a couple jobs before, each a couple months here and there, but I just can't find what I want to do. I love kids, but working with them is always going to be full-time and long, demanding hours, and I quite frequently end up in a burn-out and just can't get up and leave the house. I did work at Dunelm for a couple months at the end of last year, but was given a compromise to leave or I would be fired due to absences because of my mental health. That job I did quite enjoy, although it's a bigger store, I would only do delivery, which was quite satisfying to put away and organise things, or I was on tills, obviously having to interact with people, but I could handle it. It was a routine that I had mastered and could just focus one thing at a time.
I have just got a job at Lovisa (jewellery store) and it is a small shop, but there are so many things that just bug me that I can't do anything about. It will be things like the layout of the store or how things are handled. But I'm giving myself 2 whole months until the end of August and if I don't like it I'm going to leave because then I'll be getting to the point of starting the Open Uni.
Of course I'm still going to try and find what I want to do, but truthfully I've been struggling for so long that I never planned to be here this long, and now that I am I have no clue how to navigate life. Just because I'm technically an adult I still need help.
Again, sorry for long message. Any replies are greatly appreciated xxxxx
I'm 19, so right now everyone expects me to be at uni or working full time. I did consider uni last year, but decided I just couldn't do it at the time. It was only gonna be my hometown uni so staying local, but I just wasn't ready. I am considering The Open University (online) this year because I love learning and could still be in the comfort of my surroundings and can plan my schedule for me. But then how do I keep myself afloat? How do I make money?
My mum isn't able to help financially as much as I would need. I'm currently on Universal Credit, but the constant nagging to get a job and look for a job and to do better doesn't help my mental health at all. I was also referred to another organisation by UC who "help" with employment, but it's pretty much the same thing - nagging and no help or understanding. I would say I'm on the borderline of agoraphobia. Struggling to leave the house, becoming axious about being out and about, anxious about using public transport. I am diagnosed with ASD, but also believe I do have BPD (borderline personality disorder) and the depression and anxiety is just very obvious.
I've had a couple jobs before, each a couple months here and there, but I just can't find what I want to do. I love kids, but working with them is always going to be full-time and long, demanding hours, and I quite frequently end up in a burn-out and just can't get up and leave the house. I did work at Dunelm for a couple months at the end of last year, but was given a compromise to leave or I would be fired due to absences because of my mental health. That job I did quite enjoy, although it's a bigger store, I would only do delivery, which was quite satisfying to put away and organise things, or I was on tills, obviously having to interact with people, but I could handle it. It was a routine that I had mastered and could just focus one thing at a time.
I have just got a job at Lovisa (jewellery store) and it is a small shop, but there are so many things that just bug me that I can't do anything about. It will be things like the layout of the store or how things are handled. But I'm giving myself 2 whole months until the end of August and if I don't like it I'm going to leave because then I'll be getting to the point of starting the Open Uni.
Of course I'm still going to try and find what I want to do, but truthfully I've been struggling for so long that I never planned to be here this long, and now that I am I have no clue how to navigate life. Just because I'm technically an adult I still need help.
Again, sorry for long message. Any replies are greatly appreciated xxxxx
6
Comments
Thank you for sharing with us how employment has been for you including your new job. How have you been finding your new job over the last few weeks?
I also wanted to mention that we are running a special group chat around Employment if you'd be interested? The chat is this Thursday 3:30pm-5pm and you'll need to sign up beforehand using this link https://forms.gle/vJDfJ3K1F145oL2T6
Click here to find out more about the Youth Employment Support Circle
Like the others above have said, I think you're feelings are all completely valid. Although it may seem like a lot of people have their lives and careers all planned out, it's more likely than not that a lot of us are just as confused, whether we are 18/19 or 24/25. The key thing to remember is to go at your own pace and try to figure out what works best for you. It's clear that you are motivated and trying new things which should be recognised and something you should be proud of.
It's a shame to hear that the current job you are in is negatively impacting your mental health. Things may improve in the coming weeks and that would be great. But also you could go on until you reach a point of 'I can't carry on with this anymore' and be just as valid in your emotions. At least you can say you tried your best and it just wasn't the match for you.
It is okay to take a bit of time you figure out what you want to do in life, and it's okay as well if that goals changes over time - what matters the most is your mental health and happiness
Hope you're doing okay today
Sending hugs