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Best Of
Re: What do you think about straight actors playing gay roles?
I dont see the problem gay actors are made to play straight ones all the time. also how do we know someone isn't gay or maybe bi 
maybe they are in the closet, and they want to explore. I feel its unfair to restrict roles like that. Ofc a gay actor may enjoy playing a gay character more or portray it better. It depends on the context and whats being portrayed.
maybe they are in the closet, and they want to explore. I feel its unfair to restrict roles like that. Ofc a gay actor may enjoy playing a gay character more or portray it better. It depends on the context and whats being portrayed. 
Re: What do you think about straight actors playing gay roles?
I won't pretend that I'm not a sucker for Darren Criss' portrayal of Blaine Anderson in Glee, however I know it's quite a contentious topic as this can prevent gay people from obtaining roles in movies and shows. This has become such an important topic that different actors have expressed regret at playing a gay character as they have taken the opportunity away from another actor.
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/12/darren-criss-gay-characters
I wanted to know what people thought, especially because I saw a cool take I hadn't thought of before, if we stopped straight actors from playing gay characters, then any closeted actor might not be able to play a role they really want without outing themselves (e.g., if they weren't ready to come out publicly/didn't want to).
Please be kind and help me to hear your opinions and such xx
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/12/darren-criss-gay-characters
I wanted to know what people thought, especially because I saw a cool take I hadn't thought of before, if we stopped straight actors from playing gay characters, then any closeted actor might not be able to play a role they really want without outing themselves (e.g., if they weren't ready to come out publicly/didn't want to).
Please be kind and help me to hear your opinions and such xx
What do you think about straight actors playing gay roles?
I've seen a lot of different discourse and discussions about this and topics similar to this, and I just thought it would be cool to gain some different perspectives from everyone. I truly hope this does not upset anyone, if so please feel free to let me know and I can take the discussion down of course! We might have different thoughts and/or different rationales but I'd grateful to hear from anyone?
Re: My best friend is of the opposite gender
Hi @Kate_20
Sorry to hear that. Do want your best friend to be your boyfriend or are you happy to be friends? I agree with @Laura_tigger82 , friends of the opposite gender can happily be friends and that doesn't need to change to live up to other peoples expectations. Also, whether you are ready for a boyfriend or not, that is completely up to you! Everyone has a different timeline and sometimes slow and steady wins the race
xxx
Sorry to hear that. Do want your best friend to be your boyfriend or are you happy to be friends? I agree with @Laura_tigger82 , friends of the opposite gender can happily be friends and that doesn't need to change to live up to other peoples expectations. Also, whether you are ready for a boyfriend or not, that is completely up to you! Everyone has a different timeline and sometimes slow and steady wins the race
xxx
Re: Playlist Challenge #24
Well you could be a YouTuber or a twitch steamer or something like that
Re: Sexuality, Unwanted Attention, Finding Friendships, Isolation
First of all I just want to say bless your heart, Mitchall, you must be absolutely exhausted at this point 
From making such huge continuous efforts to form friendships only to be rejected must leave you feeling so immensely confused and isolated. I know you've talked about a few different aspects of your experiences and how they come together to leave you feeling alienated and alone, so seriously thank you for taking the time to write this post out, I can't imagine it was easy to type this all out.
From the sounds of it, it seems as though people are being extremely dismissive and horrid about your thoughts and feelings, especially in LGBT+ spaces which should be areas of inclusion and understanding, as you have said! To experience such exclusion from groups which are meant to pride themselves on empathy and openness is truly a disgrace. Especially when you are merely expressing the fact that you don't appreciate unwanted sexual advances. No one deserves to be 'hit on' or approached sexually if they don't want to be, and you do not have to apologise for not enjoying this! If a gay man felt uncomfortable about a woman hitting on him, he is more than welcome to let her know that and they should be able to move on from the experience. But the fact that men have repeatedly made you feel uncomfy and then disrespected your attempts at enforcing boundaries is simply not okay, and not at all what you deserve, I promise
It also sounds like there have been a few different groups who have marketed themselves as being inclusive, understanding and accommodating to people with MH needs and autism, yet when they actually have to make efforts to work with you, suddenly they can no longer be bothered. This simply is not okay, and the fact that you have been mistreated in this way multiple times must make you feel even more hopeless in this situation, it's no wonder you're feeling so lost and alone right now.
Despite how distressing these experiences have been, you are still here being open and vulnerable with us today and for that I am extremely grateful!! Beyond looking into other LGBT+ groups in Nottingham (which I've had a little looksie at, but don't want to post any links in case one of them is the group that was not nice at all!) I wonder about connecting via social media directly with straight trans people, it may sound so ridiculous, but sometimes I just type into the Twitter search bar random interests or things related to my identity to see if there is anyone who would be open to connecting with me I know this advice is rather limited in terms of tangible solutions, but I just thought I'd mention it!! I also thought something that may be a bit more helpful in making friendships is to try to attend a day service centre for adults with autism, as the fact that these centres run during the day makes it less likely for drinking and smoking to be involved.
I sincerely hope that you will be able to develop friendships with people, as you sound like a truly wonderful person who does not deserve to live this life without the active support of mates! Here if you'd like to talk things out some more, and big hugs to you
xxx
From making such huge continuous efforts to form friendships only to be rejected must leave you feeling so immensely confused and isolated. I know you've talked about a few different aspects of your experiences and how they come together to leave you feeling alienated and alone, so seriously thank you for taking the time to write this post out, I can't imagine it was easy to type this all out.From the sounds of it, it seems as though people are being extremely dismissive and horrid about your thoughts and feelings, especially in LGBT+ spaces which should be areas of inclusion and understanding, as you have said! To experience such exclusion from groups which are meant to pride themselves on empathy and openness is truly a disgrace. Especially when you are merely expressing the fact that you don't appreciate unwanted sexual advances. No one deserves to be 'hit on' or approached sexually if they don't want to be, and you do not have to apologise for not enjoying this! If a gay man felt uncomfortable about a woman hitting on him, he is more than welcome to let her know that and they should be able to move on from the experience. But the fact that men have repeatedly made you feel uncomfy and then disrespected your attempts at enforcing boundaries is simply not okay, and not at all what you deserve, I promise
It also sounds like there have been a few different groups who have marketed themselves as being inclusive, understanding and accommodating to people with MH needs and autism, yet when they actually have to make efforts to work with you, suddenly they can no longer be bothered. This simply is not okay, and the fact that you have been mistreated in this way multiple times must make you feel even more hopeless in this situation, it's no wonder you're feeling so lost and alone right now.
Despite how distressing these experiences have been, you are still here being open and vulnerable with us today and for that I am extremely grateful!! Beyond looking into other LGBT+ groups in Nottingham (which I've had a little looksie at, but don't want to post any links in case one of them is the group that was not nice at all!) I wonder about connecting via social media directly with straight trans people, it may sound so ridiculous, but sometimes I just type into the Twitter search bar random interests or things related to my identity to see if there is anyone who would be open to connecting with me
I know this advice is rather limited in terms of tangible solutions, but I just thought I'd mention it!! I also thought something that may be a bit more helpful in making friendships is to try to attend a day service centre for adults with autism, as the fact that these centres run during the day makes it less likely for drinking and smoking to be involved.I sincerely hope that you will be able to develop friendships with people, as you sound like a truly wonderful person who does not deserve to live this life without the active support of mates! Here if you'd like to talk things out some more, and big hugs to you
xxxRe: Sexuality, Unwanted Attention, Finding Friendships, Isolation
Hi @Mitchall
Well done for reaching out for support. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.
I am really sorry to hear you don't feel accepted or supported. It sounds like you have experienced some really tough times when trying to reach out for support and friendships.
I think you are doing all of the right things. You are continuing to reach out for support despite your previous difficult experiences, you are setting polite boundaries, and you are finding new groups. You should be proud of yourself, I know we are proud of you.
I always believe in being who you are. If these groups are facilitated by staff, please make sure they are aware of the unkind treatment you receive. If mean things are said on social media, please know you can report them and block them. You do not deserve to be treated unkindly.
I am so sorry to hear you have not found LGBTQA+ groups to be supportive. You are right, you have the same rights to be in LGTBQA+ groups as everyone else. If facilitated, the Equality Act (2010) should be applied and you have every right to report people if they are not complying with this. How do you feel about going to pride? You may meet more people with similar experiences at pride.
In terms of autism social groups, when I last heard from you, you were hoping to start accessing AEM. I am just wondering if you have received any updates about this yet? I think it could be a great opportunity to meet other people with autism. As I said before, there are also the National Autistic Society's social groups if this is something you would feel comfortable with and want to access. You can find more information about the National Autistic Society's social groups at https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/support-in-the-community/social-groups.
We are here for you and listening to you
Well done for reaching out for support. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.
I am really sorry to hear you don't feel accepted or supported. It sounds like you have experienced some really tough times when trying to reach out for support and friendships.
I think you are doing all of the right things. You are continuing to reach out for support despite your previous difficult experiences, you are setting polite boundaries, and you are finding new groups. You should be proud of yourself, I know we are proud of you.
I always believe in being who you are. If these groups are facilitated by staff, please make sure they are aware of the unkind treatment you receive. If mean things are said on social media, please know you can report them and block them. You do not deserve to be treated unkindly.
I am so sorry to hear you have not found LGBTQA+ groups to be supportive. You are right, you have the same rights to be in LGTBQA+ groups as everyone else. If facilitated, the Equality Act (2010) should be applied and you have every right to report people if they are not complying with this. How do you feel about going to pride? You may meet more people with similar experiences at pride.
In terms of autism social groups, when I last heard from you, you were hoping to start accessing AEM. I am just wondering if you have received any updates about this yet? I think it could be a great opportunity to meet other people with autism. As I said before, there are also the National Autistic Society's social groups if this is something you would feel comfortable with and want to access. You can find more information about the National Autistic Society's social groups at https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/support-in-the-community/social-groups.
We are here for you and listening to you
Re: Overthinking too much Relationship 💗
Hey @_Tech_Addict_Girl
That’s such fantastic news, I’m so incredibly happy for you!! You deserve so much happiness.
It’s understandable that you’re feeling anxious about a new relationship. It’s a very new concept, and you’ve been through a lot recently with people breaking promises about important things, and hurting you in the past, so it makes sense that you’re worried. Is this something you feel safe and comfortable to discuss with your boyfriend just for your own reassurance?
It’s also understandable to feel nervous about his best friend, I feel like this is a common worry for many that their best friend won’t like you, but often it’s just an irrational thought our brain plays upon. If they don’t like you, that’s not your fault, you are worthy with or without their approval because you’re a caring and kind individual. I’m sure that what his best friend has said about him being proud about you is true. I understand it can be hard to process these things when our brain is constantly battling you. I would say that it’s a really good sign that he likes you, and also that his mum likes you! It sounds like a really good sign.
Try and be gentle with yourself, you’re doing amazing, and it sounds like some really great and exciting things are happening to you. Take some time to be proud of yourself, and try to allow yourself some happiness because you really deserve it!
That’s such fantastic news, I’m so incredibly happy for you!! You deserve so much happiness.
It’s understandable that you’re feeling anxious about a new relationship. It’s a very new concept, and you’ve been through a lot recently with people breaking promises about important things, and hurting you in the past, so it makes sense that you’re worried. Is this something you feel safe and comfortable to discuss with your boyfriend just for your own reassurance?
It’s also understandable to feel nervous about his best friend, I feel like this is a common worry for many that their best friend won’t like you, but often it’s just an irrational thought our brain plays upon. If they don’t like you, that’s not your fault, you are worthy with or without their approval because you’re a caring and kind individual. I’m sure that what his best friend has said about him being proud about you is true. I understand it can be hard to process these things when our brain is constantly battling you. I would say that it’s a really good sign that he likes you, and also that his mum likes you! It sounds like a really good sign.
Try and be gentle with yourself, you’re doing amazing, and it sounds like some really great and exciting things are happening to you. Take some time to be proud of yourself, and try to allow yourself some happiness because you really deserve it!
Re: Overthinking too much Relationship 💗
Hi @_Tech_Addict_Girl
Wow that sounds like you have really found someone that makes you happy, what brilliant news 💜 it sounds like you really like him and he really likes you too.
It’s really hard when you start to overthink things to work out what’s likely to be true and what isn’t - I know, I’m an overthinker too! I don’t know if it will help you, but I will sometimes write out some of my thoughts and then try and work out what I would say to a friend in the same situation. It helps me be more rational… does that make any sense? I think you are doing great getting the reassurance you need from him too by asking directly.
It sounds to me like his friends really like you (I don’t think they would have a reason to lie?) as they have said they are proud of him and think you are nice 😊 and I do think it’s a sign his mum likes you if she’s added you on facebook.
I know it’s a really nerve wracking time at the start of relationships and it can be tricky but also I hope you are able to enjoy it too, it sounds like you’ve found someone lovely and I hope it works out for you.
Take care
Lucy
Wow that sounds like you have really found someone that makes you happy, what brilliant news 💜 it sounds like you really like him and he really likes you too.
It’s really hard when you start to overthink things to work out what’s likely to be true and what isn’t - I know, I’m an overthinker too! I don’t know if it will help you, but I will sometimes write out some of my thoughts and then try and work out what I would say to a friend in the same situation. It helps me be more rational… does that make any sense? I think you are doing great getting the reassurance you need from him too by asking directly.
It sounds to me like his friends really like you (I don’t think they would have a reason to lie?) as they have said they are proud of him and think you are nice 😊 and I do think it’s a sign his mum likes you if she’s added you on facebook.
I know it’s a really nerve wracking time at the start of relationships and it can be tricky but also I hope you are able to enjoy it too, it sounds like you’ve found someone lovely and I hope it works out for you.
Take care
Lucy
What has helped you become who you are today? (By The Way: Series 3, Episode 5)
Hi everyone,
In our latest episode of By The Way, sponsored by Hollister, focuses on the LGBTQIA+ community. What has helped you become who you are today?
Head over to our Instagram page to watch the latest episode. Make sure to like and comment on the video or comment in this thread to let us know what you thought of the episode
In our latest episode of By The Way, sponsored by Hollister, focuses on the LGBTQIA+ community. What has helped you become who you are today?
Head over to our Instagram page to watch the latest episode. Make sure to like and comment on the video or comment in this thread to let us know what you thought of the episode
Aoife
1