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Re: University choices
I had a dreadful time on my undergrad music course because the lecturers were only interested in their narrow research activities, and couldn't be bothered with teaching/ students/ anyone but themselves basically. They even sent the quality control people round, but they were just lecturers from other unis and there was a whole lot of mutual back scratching going on - they got an excellent! Anyone can put on a good open day, but definitely try to get the views of past and current students (and not just the ones they pick to meet potential new students). Good luck!
Re: University choices
It might be good to note that some subjects allow you to choose multiple classes so you wouldn't just be doing one subject (I think the only exceptions are dental and medical degrees!).
My uni (University of Glasgow) allowed me to have my main degree course which I've actually changed from a single honours to a joint honours degree. I could've changed to a single honours of my other subject and dropped the one I was accepted into totally.
To explain that visually I did -
1st year - English lit, theatre studies, English language
2nd year - English lit, theatre studies, astronomy
Now 3rd year - theatre studies, English lit at honours.
I was accepted solely on an English lit degree.
It might be worthwhile seeing if this is an option.
My uni (University of Glasgow) allowed me to have my main degree course which I've actually changed from a single honours to a joint honours degree. I could've changed to a single honours of my other subject and dropped the one I was accepted into totally.
To explain that visually I did -
1st year - English lit, theatre studies, English language
2nd year - English lit, theatre studies, astronomy
Now 3rd year - theatre studies, English lit at honours.
I was accepted solely on an English lit degree.
It might be worthwhile seeing if this is an option.
Re: I feel more like a male than a woman
This is just wonderful @Rose124 
I'm so happy for you & proud of you. I'm thankful your friends and family have been supportive too - you deserve so much love and support, always 
I'm so happy for you & proud of you. I'm thankful your friends and family have been supportive too - you deserve so much love and support, always Re: I feel more like a male than a woman
Re: I feel more like a male than a woman
Hey!
I can see that a few months are passed, but I wanted to check out how are you doing at the moment and if something has changed in the last period.
Gender identity is something that I haven't dealt with it, as I am a cisgender gay man, but I can relate to the hardest part, which is similar, to express the true you.
Did you experiment with a different pronoun? How's it felt?
The only advice that I'm feeling to give you is to don't rush up on things and situations, I know it could be frustrating and it is perfectly normal so don't feel like doing this big step yet. everything will work out, you're a beautiful human being!
Cosmo.
I can see that a few months are passed, but I wanted to check out how are you doing at the moment and if something has changed in the last period.
Gender identity is something that I haven't dealt with it, as I am a cisgender gay man, but I can relate to the hardest part, which is similar, to express the true you.
Did you experiment with a different pronoun? How's it felt?
The only advice that I'm feeling to give you is to don't rush up on things and situations, I know it could be frustrating and it is perfectly normal so don't feel like doing this big step yet. everything will work out, you're a beautiful human being!
Cosmo.
Re: I feel more like a male than a woman
It sounds like you have loads rushing through your head atm @Rose124 , you must be feeling so exhausted by feelings of uncertainty, particularly about how others might react. Firstly, I just wanted to say amazingly big well done to you for being able to explore yourself and starting to think about what your gender means to you. This is often not an easy thing to do in such a ciscentric world! Secondly, whatever 'conclusion' you reach or do not reach about your gender is more than fine, there is abso no rush to 'figure' it all out and we will be here for you throughout your journey
In terms of experiencing the same feelings, thoughts and behaviours as you, I completely get what you're saying (which is not to say my experience is the exact same as your or anything!!) about wanting to feel like you're being true to yourself and who you actually are. I think it's wonderful that you have come to this place of understanding about yourself
Perhaps there is another member on here who will reply soon whose experience with gender specifically mirrors yours?
Finally, in terms of wondering what others will say, I was in a pretty much identical situation to you in regards to family in particular, being bi was okay, but would ***gender*** be 'too far'?? For me, I think the most important thing to do was to attempt to gauge what people around me's opinions were on trans and gender non-conforming people to understand whether my safety was okay. If it becomes clear that friends/families/partners' opinions are feeling good and safe then it is all about when you feel ready. There is no rush to disclose to others any revelations that you have had about yourself, you deserve time to process your emotions, thoughts and any changes you might carry out (e.g., you mentioned wearing binders maybe
). Once you do feel comfy talking to people, maybe start with one person whom you trust a lot (e.g., a best friend or your boyfriend?) as starting with one person can feel easier than sitting everyone down in one room
ultimately, I want you to know that I am beyond proud of you for your honesty, exploration and ability to speak your truth, as these can all be immensely difficult. We will be with you throughout, no matter what. I wish you so much peace and happiness in this life
In terms of experiencing the same feelings, thoughts and behaviours as you, I completely get what you're saying (which is not to say my experience is the exact same as your or anything!!) about wanting to feel like you're being true to yourself and who you actually are. I think it's wonderful that you have come to this place of understanding about yourself
Perhaps there is another member on here who will reply soon whose experience with gender specifically mirrors yours?Finally, in terms of wondering what others will say, I was in a pretty much identical situation to you in regards to family in particular, being bi was okay, but would ***gender*** be 'too far'?? For me, I think the most important thing to do was to attempt to gauge what people around me's opinions were on trans and gender non-conforming people to understand whether my safety was okay. If it becomes clear that friends/families/partners' opinions are feeling good and safe then it is all about when you feel ready. There is no rush to disclose to others any revelations that you have had about yourself, you deserve time to process your emotions, thoughts and any changes you might carry out (e.g., you mentioned wearing binders maybe
). Once you do feel comfy talking to people, maybe start with one person whom you trust a lot (e.g., a best friend or your boyfriend?) as starting with one person can feel easier than sitting everyone down in one room ultimately, I want you to know that I am beyond proud of you for your honesty, exploration and ability to speak your truth, as these can all be immensely difficult. We will be with you throughout, no matter what. I wish you so much peace and happiness in this life
Re: The Need and Want Dilemma
@Tigger2001 This is such a lovely thread, thanks so much for posting this.
Sometimes, it can be hard to see these things when we're consumed by negative thoughts or behaviours, but you're so right. If they're your friends, they will understand that you can't be around certain substances, in case you relapse, and make time to do other things with you that don't involve these.
It's also really important to be gentle with yourself when weeing yourself off these substances. It can be so difficult and if relapse occurs, it's easy to just give up on your recovery all together. However, the fact you're trying is something to be commended! Recovery isn't linear, and relapsing is more common than we're led to believe! It doesn't have to be the end of your recovery journey, that's why it's important to be kind with yourself, and understand you're doing the best you can.
Sending love and strength to anyone who needs it right now
Sometimes, it can be hard to see these things when we're consumed by negative thoughts or behaviours, but you're so right. If they're your friends, they will understand that you can't be around certain substances, in case you relapse, and make time to do other things with you that don't involve these.
It's also really important to be gentle with yourself when weeing yourself off these substances. It can be so difficult and if relapse occurs, it's easy to just give up on your recovery all together. However, the fact you're trying is something to be commended! Recovery isn't linear, and relapsing is more common than we're led to believe! It doesn't have to be the end of your recovery journey, that's why it's important to be kind with yourself, and understand you're doing the best you can.
Sending love and strength to anyone who needs it right now
Re: General chit chat
lovemimoon wrote: »lovemimoon wrote: »lovemimoon wrote: »Damn. Jealous of your days now.
My mum's helping my sister revise tomorrow, and I'm preparing revision material for her.
Sounds not so fun.. but you could go do something fun after!!
Probably. But my sister has barely done her work since she started her GCSEs. So we're talking about a year's worth of revision crammed in a few months.
Oh gosh. Good luck
Thank yooou
Get some.audio tapes for when she's sleeping. Play them during her sleep. Apparently you still take on stuff in sleep
Re: General chit chat
@lovemimoon it does depend where you go, but we do have some nice places up here. I do like where I live even though it’s not the nicest bit of the country
