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The Need and Want Dilemma
Addiction is linked to a lot of mental health diagnosis. It has been said the opposite of addiction is connection; to the community, to loved ones and to your evorinment. By rebuilding lost connections we can often feel the need for drink and drugs do not become so prominent in our lives.
With that said, here is nothing wrong with having a drink, it's a social thing, it's a special event thing and it's a raising a toast kind of thing.
We can feel like we want a drink. We can want to have a nice night out with friends, a fancy bit of wine over dinner.
Its normalised.
But when it turns into I need to drink to get through the day, I need a drink to leave the house, I need a drink so I can do this thing or feel this feeling.
It is no longer relaxed and an extra to your day. It becomes your day, your reason. Your life line.
So you may be at this place and you may be feeling that you no longer want to be reliant on this liquid in order to go about your day. But you may think by giving up, you give up those events, the nights out, the dinner parties. The social life.
Here I would say, have you spoken to your social group? Have you reached out and said I want your company but I cannot indulge in this when drink is involved as I am struggling with it. Can we sort a night out where we don't?
It is hard when your circles are so tightly wound to one thing. But friends should be more than that, they should want to spend time with you regardless. And if they don't, they were not worth having around as they were not there for your company but for the drink. And why would you want to be "friends" with them, if that was the case?
But most of the time, if they are your friends, for a reason - them. Just like they are friends with you for who you are.
So if you are struggling with drinking, do not think you will loose your social life. It simply means your social life needs to adapt so that you are kept safe and limiting the risks.
Friends should want your company, it doesn't matter if drink is involved or not. They are there for you. You matter. Do not be afraid to be honest, do not be embrassed because you are human.
Reach out to the people around you and more importantly keep yourself safe.
You matter.
Feel free to reach out if you want to talk about the ups and downs of life. More than happy to have a conversation about what's on your mind. I am not here to judge, we are only human afterall.
With that said, here is nothing wrong with having a drink, it's a social thing, it's a special event thing and it's a raising a toast kind of thing.
We can feel like we want a drink. We can want to have a nice night out with friends, a fancy bit of wine over dinner.
Its normalised.
But when it turns into I need to drink to get through the day, I need a drink to leave the house, I need a drink so I can do this thing or feel this feeling.
It is no longer relaxed and an extra to your day. It becomes your day, your reason. Your life line.
So you may be at this place and you may be feeling that you no longer want to be reliant on this liquid in order to go about your day. But you may think by giving up, you give up those events, the nights out, the dinner parties. The social life.
Here I would say, have you spoken to your social group? Have you reached out and said I want your company but I cannot indulge in this when drink is involved as I am struggling with it. Can we sort a night out where we don't?
It is hard when your circles are so tightly wound to one thing. But friends should be more than that, they should want to spend time with you regardless. And if they don't, they were not worth having around as they were not there for your company but for the drink. And why would you want to be "friends" with them, if that was the case?
But most of the time, if they are your friends, for a reason - them. Just like they are friends with you for who you are.
So if you are struggling with drinking, do not think you will loose your social life. It simply means your social life needs to adapt so that you are kept safe and limiting the risks.
Friends should want your company, it doesn't matter if drink is involved or not. They are there for you. You matter. Do not be afraid to be honest, do not be embrassed because you are human.
Reach out to the people around you and more importantly keep yourself safe.
You matter.
Feel free to reach out if you want to talk about the ups and downs of life. More than happy to have a conversation about what's on your mind. I am not here to judge, we are only human afterall.
Re: Making or breaking myself down I'm not sure anymore
@awesomeminecraft6789 That seems really difficult. I am really sorry that the way you want to express your emotions just isn't allowing you to.
Is there any other way that you could potentially get these feelings out? For example, does playing certain video games help or punching a pillow? I think it could be beneficial to find alternative coping strategies for these times of anguish, particularly if crying is becoming a difficult outlet.
It's incredible that you are trying though. I know it can be so hard to sit with those feelings, particularly when they're so negative and overwhelming, but you should be so proud of yourself for even thinking about dealing with these emotions.
Is there any other way that you could potentially get these feelings out? For example, does playing certain video games help or punching a pillow? I think it could be beneficial to find alternative coping strategies for these times of anguish, particularly if crying is becoming a difficult outlet.
It's incredible that you are trying though. I know it can be so hard to sit with those feelings, particularly when they're so negative and overwhelming, but you should be so proud of yourself for even thinking about dealing with these emotions.
Re: Making or breaking myself down I'm not sure anymore
Hi @AislingDM
Thank you it is really hard because I really don't know how to express myself especially now it just really sucks you know? I know people say it's ok to cry but with me it's ridiculously hard to I've tried to make myself cry but now that ive gotten used to not crying it makes my life a lot harder
Thank you it is really hard because I really don't know how to express myself especially now it just really sucks you know? I know people say it's ok to cry but with me it's ridiculously hard to I've tried to make myself cry but now that ive gotten used to not crying it makes my life a lot harder
Re: wen ur sad
i used to do it wen i was sad about feelings repeating as if i still dont feel free, or if i had a bad day. wat is a 'coping technique', they take a fat W n i take the fat L
Re: Sense of Achievement
@AislingDM This is such a wonderful thread, thanks so much for starting this!
That's really wonderful, making cards for someone is such a wonderful way to show you care, I'm sure your friends adore them!
I made some mac and cheese the other day and I was really pleased with it
I'm also trying to make my hamster a little playpen out of boxes and some old kitchen roll tubes. Hopefully it turns out okay :')
That's really wonderful, making cards for someone is such a wonderful way to show you care, I'm sure your friends adore them!
I made some mac and cheese the other day and I was really pleased with it
I'm also trying to make my hamster a little playpen out of boxes and some old kitchen roll tubes. Hopefully it turns out okay :')Re: What are you listening to right now?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6tcOHVglEgI'm enjoying this podcast The Adventure Zone a lot at the moment but every time the theme song comes on I completely zone out and just pay attention to it instead of them talking.
Re: ADHD
I would say the issue is more largely around it being misdiagnosed as anxiety when really we have ADHD/Autism .. it can be largely difficult to distinguish between autism and ADHD due to the fact there is such a large cross over in symptoms and signs in both genders actually
I was actually someone who was misdiagnosed with anxiety for years and it actually turned out to be Aspergers . Anxiety was the main focus for many many years with me when actually it turned out to be I was expecting anxiety as a result of some of my autistic traits I had.
But your right research often does focus on boys and there’s a statistic that’s something like for every 4 makes diagnosed with ASD/ADHD only 1 female is diagnosed
I was actually someone who was misdiagnosed with anxiety for years and it actually turned out to be Aspergers . Anxiety was the main focus for many many years with me when actually it turned out to be I was expecting anxiety as a result of some of my autistic traits I had.
But your right research often does focus on boys and there’s a statistic that’s something like for every 4 makes diagnosed with ASD/ADHD only 1 female is diagnosed
Introduction
Hi guys,
I’m gurpreet. I’m a student studying psychology at university. Does anyone else study psychology here or interested in it?
I’m gurpreet. I’m a student studying psychology at university. Does anyone else study psychology here or interested in it?
Re: University choices
I had a dreadful time on my undergrad music course because the lecturers were only interested in their narrow research activities, and couldn't be bothered with teaching/ students/ anyone but themselves basically. They even sent the quality control people round, but they were just lecturers from other unis and there was a whole lot of mutual back scratching going on - they got an excellent! Anyone can put on a good open day, but definitely try to get the views of past and current students (and not just the ones they pick to meet potential new students). Good luck!