Best Of

This is a brilliant post, and a brilliant idea. Thanks for sharing @Sian321! I'm giving this thread a little boost because I think it's such a fab idea.

.

I know it's February and may be a little too late to talk about New Year goals but to fit alongside this theme of community and connection, one goal trend/idea I have seen online is this idea of 12 Charitable Tasks.

.

It's a simple and small way to start getting more involved in your local communities. The idea behind it is that you would to a minimum of 1 charitable task a month, and it could be tiny things.

.

For example, donating clothes / books, it could be sharing a skill, volunteering some time at the library to run a single workshop on a weekend, or paying for someone else’s meal (if you can). It could be signing up to be a volunteer for an organization, or it could be the resolution to spend more time in communities like The Mix’s discussion boards to support your peers. All great ways to get involved in something you might never have before, and ways to build connections with others in real life.

.

If Sian's post does inspire anyone to maybe make that small step or goal, then please do share. You are all full of kindness and compassion with each other here in this community and I'm sure you'll take all of that into your local communities too.

Hey folks! So, I’ve noticed a few of us sharing that we’d like to build more, or closer, social connections, whether that’s in real life or online. At the same time, it can feel daunting, or hard to know where to begin!

As social creatures, the desire to belong, to feel close to others, and to both give and receive care is deeply human and completely valid. And yet, creating those connections isn’t always straightforward. We might feel nervous or self-doubting. There may be practical or logistical barriers that make it difficult to cross paths with new people. Past experiences might leave us feeling cautious or unsure. It can feel complicated, and that's so valid.

At the same time, Community is a space where meaningful connections are already being formed by you! The perspectives, experiences, and skills you build here through listening, sharing, empathising, and showing up are valuable, and they can travel with you beyond this space, too.

Thinking about this, I'm curious….

• What have you learned here in Community that you’d like to carry into the way you're making or seeking social connections elsewhere?
• Is there someone already in your life (online or offline) that you’d like to get to know a little more?
• What does being a good friend mean to you?
• What’s one small, manageable step you could take as a mini goal to deepen or create a connection?
• Is there anyone within Community who you've never replied to before that you'd like to build a connection with?

If socialising feels daunting to you, Community can be a space for learning and experimenting!! The interactions you have here, both on Boards, in Chats, and within Threads, can be gentle opportunities to notice what feels good and what doesn’t to you. For example, you might begin to see what helps you feel safe, understood, or closer to someone, and what creates distance or discomfort? You may notice the kinds of messages you appreciate receiving, the ways you like to show up for others, or the boundaries that feel important to you. All of this is really valuable information about the kinds of relationships and connections you want to build!

I’d really invite you to reflect on what you’re discovering about yourself through being here, and to consider how those insights might support you in building connections in spaces beyond Community, too.

You're so deserving of belonging and relationships that feel fulfilling and make life brighter for you!

@Azziman @Callum essentially, this is the situation. CMHT referred me to a temporary supported living residential service for a short stay, about 5 or 6 days, along with intense amounts of therapy during that time, so they could see and evaluate what i'm like, over time, rather than a single session.

So yesterday, i packed up some bags, and went up. Got my own room and stuff, was showed around, but then things went wrong so fast. I couldn't stop pausing, taking of my headphones and listening intensely for any calling, shouting, meltdowns or banging, despite the fact there was silence. I tried to keep to what i was doing, but couldn't stop and couldn't focus on anything else. What scares me about that, is that it's the first time staying out of the home in my life, and i always thought it was purely situational my reactions. Instead, it's happening even when there's complete silence now. And obviously being away from home for the very first time in my life, is scary.

And the silence and peace was crippling. I've never had it in my life before properly, so it felt so so wrong, especially in the evenings. There was no screeching, no wooing, no meltdowns, from my brother, no running to and from to get my brothers headguard on him during his headbanging. Nothing to be on guard for. There's no shouting random animal noises from him, no shit smeering from him, just quiet for the first time in my life and i just couldn't adjust to peace and quiet like i thought i easily could if ever given the chance.

For reference, my brother is severely autistic, has a severe learning disability, has pre-verbal cognitive capacity, requires round the clock care, completely non verbal, and is assessed as having 2:1 support needs. This mostly fell on me over the years to care for him. No going out, no leaving the house, no social interactions, just a massive care role.

And i ended up falling into crippling health anxiety too during the night. I couldn't sleep in the bed, i couldn't touch any surfaces, touch the door handle to leave, use things like cups, and had to bring my own one and my own drink in order to be able to drink. I couldn't sit down without having to create a layer between me and the furniture i was sitting on. I couldn't leave the room, can't use the shared spaces, can't even go to the toilet. It just all came on over the span of an hour getting increasingly worse.

I've realised now that this isn't just situational, it's embedded in me, so even when things are peaceful and calm which it has been for the first time in my life for sustained periods of time, i can't stop reacting, or seeing threats that don't exist. I'm not sure if this makes sense.

The health anxiety has eased a lot this morning, but I'm still struggling with it a bit. I just panicked last night and thought i needed to get out of there.

my best mates cat is on there rn. he’s laid on top of the spider 😂. but im shit scared to even move bc it’s petrifying!

So, bit of a funny one. Im at a supported living, temporary accommodation for monitoring and 24/7 support access for 5 days, out of my home enviroment for the first time. The thinking being that its sort of a respite like stay, away from my home for the first time, and from my brothers 24/7 screeching, somewhere miles away, on the other side of the city. A break from it all, whilst having my mental state monitored over days, not single 30 minutes sessions, and intense therapy sessions paired with it, sort off.

The funny thing about this all - despite about 5 or so miles away from home, this place is smack bang behind my brothers special needs school, directly connected via the back fence, and i heard and saw him when i went into the garden this morning💀💀💀

theres no escape 😂😭