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[THIS IS KIND OF A VENT/RANT/LOOKING FOR ADVICE/SUPPORT KIND OF POST SORRY IF THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE
Hi, I've been homeschooled my entire life and this has affected me drastically. I'm very uneducated and this has made me very suicidal. I've decided that I'm going to talk to my therapist about it and see if I can get sent to a school, but I'm honestly really, really scared. I'm supposed to be going to year 10 I think? But I don't think I can because of how uneducated I am so that's been really scaring me. I'm also scared that I'm gonna get bullied due to my lack of education and social skills, and I'm also trans so I'm scared that the school won't be accepting.

I'm not sure how my family is gonna react when they realise I've gone behind their backs and gotten my therapist and other people involved. I'm talking to my therapist this week and I'm so scared, I don't know if there's gonna be legal action against my mom or if my family is gonna start being abusive or what if I made a mistake and school actually makes me worse? I'm not used to schedules or being around kids my age. Being around kids my age really intimidates me and makes me really anxious since I think I have social anxiety . There's like 2 weeks before school starts, so I don't even have much time to prepare myself mentally and I've already got really shit mental health, and the only support I have rn is my online best friend. I just want my mom to support me and to help me through this but I don't think she will. I can't tell her about my plan due to the possibility of her freaking out and not letting me see my therapist. I don't even have much time to prepare myself to tell my therapist because once I tell her, it's done. I'll be going to school and there's nothing I will be able to do to change that. I'm so scared that I'm gonna regret this and my family will become abusive.