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I give uppppp 🥲 (I’m safe)

@DonnerKebab i don’t feel it

eylah wrote: »

DonnerKebab wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

DonnerKebab wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

i don’t care anymore i cba 💔

@eylah i know your struggling, and there isn't a lot i can say to make it better, but i'm here for you. Whatever the bastards did or said on the train, know you are 100 times them, and that you are at the end of the day an amazing person, and the best twat in the whole wide world, and nothing changes that

noone knows what happened. and it’s what some individual did that is impacting me rn. i cant share bc the mix will probably escalate things which i do not want!!

@eylah I understand, there are some things that can't be said on the platform, but i can only guess. People can be cruel wankers, truly cruel without morals. People target those who they think are easy targets or are smaller than them, and can be rather sadistic. I want you to know that i'm here for you, for anything, and whatever they said or did, they aren't even worthy to be in your presence. You are a gem, and they are trash. And as hard as it is, they don't deserve even a second of your thoughts, they aren't worthy of that, my favourite twat in the world. .

I know this doesn't make it better, or make whatever happened go away, but remember, you are better than they are by a mile, and they don't deserve to drag you down. An angel shouldn't be dragged down by a piece of trash.

ppl take advantage of kind ppl and it hurts bc now they’ve given me more trauma and pain that i cant handle. but im no angel aha i wish i was bc they’re so pretty and sweet. thankyou so much @DonnerKebab @Jack25 im sobbing haha my favourite twat forever

@eylah only an angel could be as kind and loving and generous to other people as you are despite everything. Only angel could still be the same kind and gentle soul that you are, after all that pain and loss. I'm so glad your reaching out to a helpline, because you don't deserve any of that trauma and pain. You are a good person, trying to help others by being kind, and they were evil and took advantage. Same with the tik tok stuff. They are low down scum. The lowest of the low. Even after that, you were still being kind to other people, and that eylah is called being an angel.

I would never lie and say something that i don't know. I don't know what you look like, so i can't say if you're pretty or not because i don't know. But what i do 100% know is the fact that you are so so sweet, and you are pretty on the inside. One of the prettiest people in the world on the inside. So kind, so caring, so sweet, so amazing of a person and i need you to KNOW that fact. Not think it, KNOW it, cause that's what you are.

These trash are just that. Trash. And you are an angel. And you are 100% the most special twat in the world, and I am so happy i met you on here eylah. And you are so strong, incredibly brave for your surgery. remember, bravery is not the absence of fear and being scared, it's the strength to push through that fear and do it despite being scared. I know we can't be there for you in the way that people usually are, but know that were thinking about you, caring about you, and will be sending messages of love and support for you to wake up to after it. Sending a hug (that means hug yourself from me )

River wrote: »

@DonnerKebab i just want to die but I can’t because it’s selfish and wrong

@River I know the feeling. Had it for ten years myself, and i was lucky enough to be chained here with carer responsibilities through it all. I know it's hell, and it's tiring day after day dragging on, with no light at the end of the tunnel, and it's the shittest feeling in the world. I don't think anything anybody could say to me during that, could have changed how i felt, but i'm gonna try anyway, because you are worth the effort.

You still have a kind and caring soul. You still are a precious human being, and you still are worthy of love and support and care. You are a talented poet, talented at ariel hoop, a talented artist, and you are an amazingly resiliant person. And you've been through hell, still are struggling with hell, and it wears you down over time. Emotional numbness for so long, it leads you to struggle to process how you feel so it's hard for you to explain which may be what you had when you struggle to explain to the helpline (Number 1 thing i'm talking to a therapist for soon). I think that could be why you struggled to explain how you felt. You've been let down by the world, by everything and it's destroyed your self worth and your faith in yourself, but from a neutral perspective, from what i've seen of you on the Mix, you are an amazing person, and your just struggling to see how great you really are.

That feeling, i assume it's a combination of struggling with emotional numbness, lack of self worth, lack of support, an overwhelming amount of past trauma, and loss of familiar support staff, like your college team. And i know how hopeless and down you are right now, and how you might not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there, just impossible to see right now. If you can, try and think about how hopeless you felt before, how you had that positive phase for a short while, and how you went back into that hopelessness now. Remember that there's always the chance for things to improve, sometimes unexpectedly. Always hope. Impossible to see, but it's always there. You made outstanding progress, and it's 2 steps forward 1 step back. That 1 step back is demoralising, and it feels like it's unwinding your progress, but it isn't. It is just a part of said progress.

Sorry if this comes across as rambling.

DonnerKebab wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

DonnerKebab wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

i don’t care anymore i cba 💔

@eylah i know your struggling, and there isn't a lot i can say to make it better, but i'm here for you. Whatever the bastards did or said on the train, know you are 100 times them, and that you are at the end of the day an amazing person, and the best twat in the whole wide world, and nothing changes that

noone knows what happened. and it’s what some individual did that is impacting me rn. i cant share bc the mix will probably escalate things which i do not want!!

@eylah I understand, there are some things that can't be said on the platform, but i can only guess. People can be cruel wankers, truly cruel without morals. People target those who they think are easy targets or are smaller than them, and can be rather sadistic. I want you to know that i'm here for you, for anything, and whatever they said or did, they aren't even worthy to be in your presence. You are a gem, and they are trash. And as hard as it is, they don't deserve even a second of your thoughts, they aren't worthy of that, my favourite twat in the world. .

I know this doesn't make it better, or make whatever happened go away, but remember, you are better than they are by a mile, and they don't deserve to drag you down. An angel shouldn't be dragged down by a piece of trash.

ppl take advantage of kind ppl and it hurts bc now they’ve given me more trauma and pain that i cant handle. but im no angel aha i wish i was bc they’re so pretty and sweet. thankyou so much @DonnerKebab @Jack25 im sobbing haha my favourite twat forever

Jack25 wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

tw sh * im safe *

I am having thoughts of relapsing but i cant bc im having surgery in under a week & it probably will be cancelled if i sh.

again im safe.

Hey @eylah !

It sounds like you are carrying a lot right now, and I hear you are trying to hold things together with surgery coming up, even when it feels heavy, it shows a lot of strength! You deserve the support that helps you feel comfortable, especially after what someone else did that has impacted you - perhaps you could talk about it to someone you trust, or another service? There's no pressure to explain anything. Take care of yourself tonight, and I'm wishing you the best of luck with your upcoming surgery

im going to reach out to kelly heroes bc i am crying my eyes out rn but jack thankyou so much for<3 i hope you’re well. im scared for my surgery but also happy bc i can be out of pain

@DonnerKebab i just want to die but I can’t because it’s selfish and wrong

eylah wrote: »

DonnerKebab wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

i don’t care anymore i cba 💔

@eylah i know your struggling, and there isn't a lot i can say to make it better, but i'm here for you. Whatever the bastards did or said on the train, know you are 100 times them, and that you are at the end of the day an amazing person, and the best twat in the whole wide world, and nothing changes that

noone knows what happened. and it’s what some individual did that is impacting me rn. i cant share bc the mix will probably escalate things which i do not want!!

@eylah I understand, there are some things that can't be said on the platform, but i can only guess. People can be cruel wankers, truly cruel without morals. People target those who they think are easy targets or are smaller than them, and can be rather sadistic. I want you to know that i'm here for you, for anything, and whatever they said or did, they aren't even worthy to be in your presence. You are a gem, and they are trash. And as hard as it is, they don't deserve even a second of your thoughts, they aren't worthy of that, my favourite twat in the world. .

I know this doesn't make it better, or make whatever happened go away, but remember, you are better than they are by a mile, and they don't deserve to drag you down. An angel shouldn't be dragged down by a piece of trash.

eylah wrote: »

tw sh * im safe *

I am having thoughts of relapsing but i cant bc im having surgery in under a week & it probably will be cancelled if i sh.

again im safe.

Hey @eylah !

It sounds like you are carrying a lot right now, and I hear you are trying to hold things together with surgery coming up, even when it feels heavy, it shows a lot of strength! You deserve the support that helps you feel comfortable, especially after what someone else did that has impacted you - perhaps you could talk about it to someone you trust, or another service? There's no pressure to explain anything. Take care of yourself tonight, and I'm wishing you the best of luck with your upcoming surgery