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Stressed. Trying to stay well. Peer support training.

ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
edited April 18 in Health & Wellbeing
So basically ive already spammed the boards with how excited i am to be able to go on the peer support worker course. & incase dont know what peer support workers are - Someone whos gone through significant MH struggles & uses that experience to support others with similar -listen, understand them, give hope, support them with goals - ect. I just would love to do that job!!!

anywayyy now i am starting to feel veryyyyyyyyy overwhelmed and stressed😥😥😥😥
gave in my ID for DBS but i also need to fill out some stuff incase my contact with the police come up on it but the email i was sent isnt working 😥😥😥😥. I just really hope that ive harmed a police man will not come up on it 😥😥😥😰😥😥😥they know my contact with police & they said it shouldnt affect my place cause was in MH crisis. But im scared incase it looks worse on paper or something. Like people make things sound bad with big words & that. But apperently it shouldnt come on at all. Dk. Will find out anyway:///

ive also been given my Timetable for the training & it starts on the 29th -- even if my DBS hasnt came through THATS LIKE LESS THAN 2 WEEKS away 😥😥😥😥& is 9 til 5 every week day - work experience in there somewhere and all of this training is just over a month which isnt too bad. But i am only used to working on weekends for 8 hours a week & im going to be doing this added to it! im going to be doing something everyday &  i havent done anything more than 8 hours a week for years. Dk if can do this but really want to.
& basically i just need somewhere to keep venting my stress of this & to remind myself to keep myself well.

Stress if a massive trigger for me so really hard & just keep reminding myself of things. Postive thoughts and all but yeah harddd. Teddy helps me though. And just need reassumance thats its totally okay to be stressed even if i didnt have mental illness like life is stressful but will find ways to cope 💆‍♀️ And omg need more smarter clothes for the training. I mean i do actually have few trousers but dk stresseddd.
& idk if i have the confidence for it. But i mean the interviewers saw how i was with people & in group- must of not been that bad if can be on the corse. Which i just need t keep reminding myself & feel like my confidence has got lot better in just the past few months. Still not great tho And im scared they will think im not in my own recovery jounery to help others yet - but they did say they would be honest about that and will work on it aswell as work on training. 

Anyone know how to manage self & stress? And how to stop overthinking? 

I would just feel awfull if i disappoint them & waste the NHS money training someone who is shit😥😥😥

& doing a wellnes plan for myself actually was helpful

But im sure will be worth it. They even have a graduation at the end of the training!!👩🏻‍🎓

& i Dont suppose anyones a peer support worker?

Im so stressed omg
I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
Kathleen07davcr0ckAifeLucy307
«1345

Comments

  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 18
    My sister has also made me self concious abput my weight and now i feel so skinny i hate it😭. I have mental diagnosis of depression, borderline personality disorder and ANOREXIA. And i look so skinny and not even on recovery journey and my sister was right how do i help people when i dont look like ive helped myself 😭😭😭😭 how do i make myself fat without eating. Lol ?????????. (Eating makes me feel disgusting and i have no money for loads of food )
    but i guess eating disorder arent about your weight and even if skinny naturally that may just be your natural weight but doesnt mean you havent had problems with food and purging and starving and purging ect can still be any weight to do that and then recover can stay the same weight if naturally skinny too. (Dont think im natuarlly skinny just thinking its possible lol)
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    edited April 18
    Hey @Shaunie ,

    ignore you sister it isn't fair she’s commenting in your weight and how you look when youve  have had anorexia. I’m sure you look amazing and anyway it’s what inside that matters in people 💜

    As for the worry that your working more hours here’s a difference between Doing this peer worker and working at Primark is the peer worker is something you really want to do and something you will enjoy some therefore your find the time go so much faster and it’s something you’ve worked so hard for.

    Who carers if you wear the same outfit for a few days there not going to be worrying about that so that’s always a option that you can do. Also try having a look round some charity shops they can have some really nice smart wear for pretty cheap.

    Its also good to here that there be helping you to carry on with your journey of recovery and when you do your training your more than likely be given some strategies to work on that.

    Its understandable that your stressed this is a whole new experience for you and correct me if I’m wrong but it sounds like maybe your scared you might mess this up . I will tell you something that I’m sure you won’t mess any of this up you will do amazing. 

    As you progress through this training and role Shaunie I’m sure that your self confidence will grow and grow and as this happens hopefully the stress will reduce for you.

    Here is some links about managing stress incase you want to take a look, it’s from the mind website and looks good 

    https://www.mind.org.uk/media/1993364/how-to-manage-stress_2015.pdf

    Also here’s a few things of self esteem that are really good - there things Beth has used with me in session :) ;

    https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Mental%20Health%20Professionals/Self%20Esteem/Self%20Esteem%20-%20Information%20Sheets/Self-Esteem%20Information%20Sheet%20-%2004%20-%20Acknowledging%20Your%20Positives.pdf

    https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Mental%20Health%20Professionals/Self%20Esteem/Self%20Esteem%20-%20Information%20Sheets/Self-Esteem%20Information%20Sheet%20-%2006%20-%20Adjusting%20Negative%20Core%20Beliefs.pdf

    https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Mental%20Health%20Professionals/Self%20Esteem/Self%20Esteem%20-%20Information%20Sheets/Self-Esteem%20Information%20Sheet%20-%2007%20-%20Adjusting%20Rules%20and%20Assumptions.pdf


    Dont forget were all so Proud of you for getting this and so excited to hear about your journey through it 

    *Edit- Sorry for the really long links lol*
    You have a purpose.
    Shaunie
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 18
    Thank you very much @Millie2787. Those links are helpful!
    And even caring that i got the place - means a lot to me cause my family dont seem to be that caring about it which is disheartening. It is a massive deal for anyone and a high level of training but they dont seem to be that happy for me. And my sister said "tbh i didnt think youd get it" i ask her why and she said because im not good in groups. Which yeah is true so dk why was so offended. :( But i guess you can fake bein confident lol. But in the group interview the first time i spoke i had stutter and couldnt speak whic i thought was going to the rest go all down hill. But didnt - got easier after spoke & youre right in terms that more do it the less stressful. 

    Just need more self belief i guess. 

    Am determined to get through the whole training and keep myself well through out it all. Cant miss any of it. And will try not get into crisis or anythin like that. Just feel so tired all the time
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    edited April 18
    Howdy @Shaunie ;

    Ahhh it’s Ok that’s what we’re all here for to get and give support and love 💜

    Ohh I’m sorry to hear that your family aren’t being very happy for you but do you know what you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone but yourself , you only need to make yourself proud and you already make all of us here proud every day :) 

    You will find that as you go through your training your confidence will naturally build and you begin to have more interaction with people I mean the other week when I did a presentation with the education link worker he said he’s seen me come on leaps and bounds with my confidence and that’s all been from the right training and exposure to plenty of people which you will get and I’m sure if you asked they could help you abit with your confidence.

    One way you can do this is each day just take 5 minutes to stop and think about 3 things you like about yourself or 1 to begin with and write them down in a diary or place them into a jar and as the months go by or your having a really tough day say you can feel your going to crisis  you can go back and read them even when someone says something nice about you , you can add them :) 
    You have a purpose.
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 19
    Thank you!!!!

    im getting really scared about this now:///

    I wonder where my work experience will be and i kinda hope its with like personaity disorder service but doubt it ahah. And what if i am really bad on work experience. And dont know how going to afford buses everyday.  And we have a communication assessment and an exam at the end and stressful timetable

    and im just so scareddd for 29th

    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder

    Ive only just been discharged from the mental health services and now i am going to be doing my training so i can work with the mental health services!! Omg maybe too soon dkk.??? Soo stressed. Will be fine though

    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • AzzimanAzziman Posts: 496 Rampant Poster
    Hey Shaunie!x

    Congrats on getting the role! I know it can feel daunting taking on a new role, especially if you're not used to the hours. It'll be a challenge, but you can rise up to it and give it a go. Don't write yourself off before you've started! Give it a good go - I'm sure you'll do great! Best of luck!x

    Much love <3
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 20
    Thank you!!

    i just keep wishing i get my work experience with the personaity disorder service because i miss my care co ordinator :((((( and want to tell her i got onto the corse
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    Im really scared. I start my training in 1 week and a day. So soon 😥 scared im not confident enough
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    It’s normal to be scared , your starting something new but I know that your be amazing 💜 Your confidence will build as your progress more in the program 
    You have a purpose.
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 664 Extreme Poster
    Hey @Shaunie

    Stress can be absolute nightmare at times, I don't even remember the last time I wasn't stressed and anxious (I am slowly getting the confidence to tell my gp)

     hears so of the thing I do to try and combat it,

     get an bag of ice cubes from you freeze and go to your bathroom and I've thrown them into the bath, making sure that their smash, if throwing ice doesn't suit you, then run yourself an cold shower, (as cold as you can get it) this will relax your muscles, which for some people fine it stress reliefing. 

    Have an collection of teddy's (for me it unicorns) that each one represents an different mood or stress, but make sure the one at the top of the scale is like an squeezable one. And use this to tell your friends or family how your feeling and get them to start an conversation about it.

    Another thing, is look out for potential trigger, for me, one of my triggers are empty boxes on supermarket shelfs, and I put them in an bin or out of my sight.

    Listern to some music, not like depressing stuff but music that has an meaning behind it, for me an example would be patience by take that, just one because if you listern to the lyrics, it has an meaning to me about my life and how I need more patience. 

    Try to do something you like, for me, it painting my nails or someone else's (I know an guy, who like painting his nails) but make sure it also relaxing at the same time, so pointless if it something like okay call of duty, because your probably get annoyed with the game. 

    If you want any other advise, let me know. 
    Love you and stay strong

    P.S probably an load of spelling mistakes but can't be bothered to fix them
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 21
    It’s normal to be scared , your starting something new but I know that your be amazing 💜 Your confidence will build as your progress more in the program 
    Thank you @Millie2787


    Im so determinated to keep myself well that i have been taking my iron pills!! Even though they are massive & literally make me gag & feel sick after lol. Is horrible so dk if can do that anymord lol rather be tired


    Thank you @davcr0ck for advice!!  My dog is called teddy lol. But teddys are cute i general too aha. Will def try to do things to help me relax. 

    davcr0ck said:

    Another thing, is look out for potential trigger, 
    A trigger for me is a lot of stress. And im scared that the first week ill get so stressed and tired from the hours that i get into a crisis thinking i cant do life & all that & end up trying to kil myself (have BPD & everything get black & white & get suicidal quickly & irrational). & then fail to suicide or suicide & then i would of miss like aday or something & then that would be the end of that because you cant miss more than 9 hours. And then theyd also realise im not fit for it. & scareddd to get into a crisis or something.

    That is the worst possible situation. But stress does really make me suciidal

    But am thinking about things before that happens to manage stress
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 664 Extreme Poster
    Hey @shaunie ;

    Same here, I've nearly committed sucide twice over the last two weeks, stress just makes my life really difficult. If I'm stress, this affects my inr levels (heart condition) which puts more stress on me and then stuck in that evil cycle until I break it myself by nearly committing or having an axiety attack or panic attack wherever I go.

    It well and truly sucks 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
    ShaunieKasa2103
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    Starting to think suicide is easier than this stress. Im not even confident enough for this
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
    Aifedavcr0ck
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Posts: 2,094 Mega Poster
    hey @Shaunie

    i promise you that you can do this , I know things are really hard when you don’t have any confidence- it’s taken me over 3 years to have enough confidence to wear a skirt with no tights and I did that for the first time yesterday and I promise you when you do something that you thought you didn’t have the confidence to do it gives you such a buzz and helps you to build your confidence bit by bit . You can do this Shaunie I know you can xx 

    have you maybe thought about trying to write down one nice thing about yourself and placing it in a jar and you can build up bassically a jar of “everything I love about myself “ and then maybe once you’ve got enough Make a college of them all and sick it up on your wall to remind yourself of everything that’s amazing about you .
    Ill start of off for you , Your such a Kind and amazing person xx 
    You have a purpose.
    AifeShauniedavcr0ck
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 664 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    Starting to think suicide is easier than this stress. Im not even confident enough for this

    Hey @shaunie,

    Sucide is never an good option, I've been their too many times, please reach out to people, if that's on the mix or if that's with friends or family, your such and amazing person, always giving people advice (me being one of them) which has helped me an lot, your be an great peer support worker.

    Don't give up now, sending hugs 
    xxx
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
    ShaunieKasa2103
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 21
    Really dont know anymore:((. This time next week will be preparing myself to wake up at 7am for the monday. I feel sad. I miss seeing someone atleast everyweek for mh. Feel need support for myself still:///how can i even be a peer support worker

    thank you for support xx
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    Ignore me. I will ignore how i feel & do it anyway cause really want to. 

    Is just when we had to talk about our own mental health everyone seems to be farr along their recovery & they was speaking about yearsssss ago 
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • JellyelephantJellyelephant Noob Posts: 638 Extreme Poster
    Shaunieeeeeeeeeeeee <3

    Can I just say I completely get that you're scared - thats so normal and especially when you struggle with mental health. I remember my first day at work and i was terrified and i actually went outside on my break and cried lol.... but it got better! The world dint end, i was ok and I made it through. Remember nobody expects you to be good before you start, they dont expect you to know stuff or anything like that - you are there to learn and ask as many questions as you want! 

    Also I cant remember if this job is full time or not? but either way I assume you will have more money than working in primark - you could use the money to pay for a private therapist every week or every fortnight for support. I pay a private therapist and shes amazing and so supportive and I can see her for as long as I want or need her for... 

    I am so excited for you! You are going to be amazing and we love you and believe in you! cant wait to hear how your first day went 

    xxx
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 21
    Aw jelly thank you!!

    This is so true!
    Remember nobody expects you to be good before you start, they dont expect you to know stuff or anything like that - you are there to learn and ask as many questions as you want! 




    and aha i  dont make my self clear. I dont have job yet aha just the training - but durning the training we get a "job fair" and are expected to start working as soon as training is finished because of all the new job oportunities they have and they havent trained a lot of peer support workers. - they hardly ever do the training and when they do they cant accept a lot.
    Tho i kinda hope they have voluterr opportunities aswell for peer support workers, i mean, i do really need money but voluterring sounds less serious and less stressful lol. Probs not. 

    They have said so many times about how intense the training is and the training used to be twice a week for about 14 weeks. Or something. And they said that was intense. But we are doing it all in one month because of all the new jobs coming

    Whatever it will be. Im sure it will be better than primark lol

    And rape crisis are meant to get in contact with me but havent://
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 22
    Omggg this time next week i will be at training !!!

     I tried to vent to my family about my stress lol and well they told me to shut up and not over think about it .... hard not to think about it :((( know shouldnt over think but i do. So im still going to vent.
     Im sorry if youre all thinking the same thing

    But Im scaredd,

    -----

    Day One is - Welcome, Intro to [my local NHS trust] & PEP Course, Study Skills Session. Which doesnt sound bad. 

    But what i am scared about is on the time table it has a lot of "telling my story" which is where we have to say our story of mental health and our connection with the services. - to get used to "telling our story". Which i do not get how in depth youd need to go ect. But it is a whole day of it. And i bet everyone was discharged ages ago. Mine was very recent.  i hope they dont look at me weird. And sometimes i stutter or i phsyically cant speak from anxiety & i really hope that never happens 
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
    davcr0ck
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 664 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    Omggg this time next week i will be at training !!!

     I tried to vent to my family about my stress lol and well they told me to shut up and not over think about it .... hard not to think about it :((( know shouldnt over think but i do. So im still going to vent.
     Im sorry if youre all thinking the same thing

    But Im scaredd,

    -----

    Day One is - Welcome, Intro to [my local NHS trust] & PEP Course, Study Skills Session. Which doesnt sound bad. 

    But what i am scared about is on the time table it has a lot of "telling my story" which is where we have to say our story of mental health and our connection with the services. - to get used to "telling our story". Which i do not get how in depth youd need to go ect. But it is a whole day of it. And i bet everyone was discharged ages ago. Mine was very recent.  i hope they dont look at me weird. And sometimes i stutter or i phsyically cant speak from anxiety & i really hope that never happens 
    Hey @Shaunie

    What you are describing to me sounds exactly how I was on my first session with my counselling (it was an complete hour before I spoke to her) and more recently, when I went to an lgbt support group, I remember walking in crying and having an panic attack as I got lost in Oxford, I didn't speak to any of them for 45 minutes and went out an cryed again in the toilets for 10 minutes and then I talked to one of them while playing an game, if at any point you feel you need to go out of the group and take an break to yourself, their should understand if you tell them, and if people judge you, then f**k them, the mental health sector of the NHS isn't about judging people by what's wrong with them, it about helping people out and that what your all training for,

    I have my full beliefs that your make an great peer support worker, because you have that background and you can help others better than someone who hasn't had any mental health issues. 

    Love you loads, stay strong, and I'm leaving you with this quote from p!nk 

    "I know my strong points: I work hard, I have talent, I'm funny, and I'm a good person"

    Stay strong
    davcr0ck 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
    ShaunieKasa2103
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    Thank you!

    i do keep feeling suicidal but i guess when it seems to be your default thought everytime you got overwhelmed is hard to stop. So i am realising this and trying to rationsalise things but sometimes think i cant cope with stress and life is stressful so there for cant cope with life. And im also so tired and weak alllll the time but taking iron pills and not helping and eating as much as can. 

    But am excited to give back to the nhs :)
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck South Oxfordshire (homophobic Oxfordshire) Posts: 664 Extreme Poster
    Hey @Shaunie

    it great to hear that you have perked up in your mood an bit, i would recommend going to bed an little earlier this week, so you can catch up on the sleep you have missed,

    It's great at your keen in eating food but make sure that it is an balanced diet and that it not just weighted towards chocolate and stuff like that, bring some fruit and vegetables into it as well.

    i noticed on your profile, you said your getting weird dreams,and your waking up feeling like something is awful is going to happen. if your comfortable with giving some more details, i just want to get an feel for if it like what ive been struggling with

    your doing amazing girl and stay strong and positive.
    davcr0ck 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    Back to suicidal but thanks. My dreams are being burnt alive or being suffocated or that my dog dies
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
    davcr0ckKathleen07
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 23
    I feel so alone. And i know that being in a room with just my dad makes me want to kill myself. And i feel very on edge
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
    Kathleen07davcr0ck
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 23
    I am so fed up. Why cant just be happy ffs
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
    Kathleen07davcr0ck
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    edited April 23
    Also scared that i will have to eat on my lunch as way to prove am over my eating disorder - im not but i look skinny so i need to eat otherwise people may notice?? But i hateeeeee eating infront of people
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
    davcr0ck
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    I am a nobody and am such a loser. Im jelous of other people
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
    davcr0ck
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,777 The Mix Elder
    Feel fine now. Thanks for support. Just going to go back to sleep i think:(. Bad mood swings. Getting worse. Lol
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
    davcr0ck
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