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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    This makes so much sense thanks @Millie2787 think thats exactly why dont do it :/
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie said:
    This makes so much sense thanks @Millie2787 think thats exactly why dont do it :/
    @Shaunie take it bit by bit buddy 
    i know how you feel I’m due to start a CBT group on Wednesday ( shock horror CAMHS has got there arse into gear ) and I’m terrified - message me if you need me ❤️
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Hate myself. Am so disgusting. Feel like self harming. My head such a mess. Cant cope. Kil me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @Shaunie

    Sounds like you've been struggling a little this week, I'm so sorry to read that, did you end up going to recovery college? I understand you are feeling like self harming, is there anything you can do to distract yourself, or did you try the shock self harm that you were recommended? 

    Just wanted to say as well that I know I'm not on here all the time, other members aren't either, but that doesn't mean we don't care. I do really care about how you're getting on so please don't feel like you're alone. We're all here rooting for you even if we can't get back to you straight away. <3

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2018
    Induction for recovery college is on thursay but not sure if will go. 
    I didnt self harm cause family around but would try distractions next time

    i was instagaram and saw rapist face and just had a urge to text him with how much i hate him. Last time i did this it went so bad and he called me a racist and every name. But this time he has just literally clearly admitted he raped me and did sexual stuff after i said no. He said he is honestly sorry about 5 times. I honestly do not know how to feel or what to think. Great for evidence but he genuiely seems to feel remorse since last chat and had thought so much since that last convo- like he would never do it again. I felt so angry before messaging now im so confused. I feel some sort of closure and validation but kind of not. 

    And ah thank you. I realise people dont see posts straight away. Just get an attention seeker. Its so embarrassing when i  do that lol ignore
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie said:
    Induction for recovery college is on thursay but not sure if will go. 
    I didnt self harm cause family around but would try distractions next time

    i was instagaram and saw rapist face and just had a urge to text him with how much i hate him. Last time i did this it went so bad and he called me a racist and every name. But this time he has just literally clearly admitted he raped me and did sexual stuff after i said no. He said he is honestly sorry about 5 times. I honestly do not know how to feel or what to think. Great for evidence but he genuiely seems to feel remorse since last chat and had thought so much since that last convo- like he would never do it again. I felt so angry before messaging now im so confused. I feel some sort of closure and validation but kind of not. 

    And ah thank you. I realise people dont see straight away. Just get an attention seeker. Its so embarrassing whe do that lol ignore
    @shaunie your not attention seeking buddy , we all have our own ways of reaching out for help and advice - it’s definitely not attention seeking ❤️
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2018
    Thank you


    i just been to the recovery college quickly and signed up. Yesterday the social worker rang and said she will come so was okay. But someone i knew was there and i didnt think she would come up to me but did speak. Which was nice. But Felt kinda awkward and made me more anxious. But anyway. Seemed like a nice lil place and i signed up to “panic and anxiety” and “introduction for recovery”
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Sounds Fab @shaunie - well done on taking steps in the direction for recovery ❤️ Proud of you for going buddy 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    Shaunie said:
    Thanks but not feeling any better. Really want to die :(
    I hope things have been better for you recently  <3 
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