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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Violette wrote:
    well shit.
    i was so happy like this week. really happy.
    things were going really well, i had a mint christmas.
    then i got drunk one night and stuff i had pushed to the back of my mind all came up. was so upset, hysterical basically.
    and cut myself. first time in like 2 years.
    it just feels like i worked really hard to be fine and get over stuff and get on with my life, now it's all gone down again.
    ever since the other night ive just been dead sad.
    and someone i care about, i really like freaked him out. i rang him when i was crying and now he wont really speak to me. i feel like such a weirdo.
    ugh.
    na your not a wirdo musta just all got a bit much for you, im sure hes not not speaking to you just speak to him im sure he'll understand what your going through :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Btw... I've been doing everything but letting myself be shut up in my room crying to my music. It all reminds me of him, dammit! And yeah, I've had a girly night out, and a poker night in with the guys. I'm keeping myself busy, and it's rockin.

    I reckon it just was a shitty day for me yesterday, cause I'm feeling so much better now.

    Thanks!
    x
  • Dr PirateDr Pirate Trust me, I'm a doctor Posts: 8,303
    Turns out I wont be drinking tonight, I chose to tidy up...

    I may actually have to sleep tonight =\
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    meh.back to the docs for me.

    your babe thats great about openin up to your parents :) good luck with your exam tomoro:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    meh.back to the docs for me.
    Hey you :)

    Have you got an appointment booked yet?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey:)
    nah i havent, just stopped taking my meds a few weeks ago, they were messing my head up. but i jus feel really blah today ;(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *sigh*
    I dunno why I bother
  • Dr PirateDr Pirate Trust me, I'm a doctor Posts: 8,303
    I found more Jack Daniels... go me =\

    I'm gonna get some more vodka tomorrow... Somehow it makes things feel better =\
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh I'm so glad you took action. And I'm even happier that it has made you feel better. Best of luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Excellent stuff - the first few steps are the hardest! You'll crack it, wanting to feel better is the key. Do what feels right, always listen to others but you have to give priority to the voice inside your head - as that is likely to be the one that is right for you.

    Obviously, if you have more than one voice, things become awkward. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Every morning, when I wake up, I sort of wish I hadn't.

    It all seems a bit pointless just now.

    :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Infinite wrote:
    Every morning, when I wake up, I sort of wish I hadn't.

    It all seems a bit pointless just now.

    :(

    i know what u mean
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    Infinite wrote:
    Every morning, when I wake up, I sort of wish I hadn't.

    It all seems a bit pointless just now.

    :(

    Awww, hunny :( Why do you think like that? I thought things were good just now?

    Things are never pointless. If you feel that they are pointless then you are doing the wrong thing. And the only way to sort that out is to change something.

    You know where I am xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dr Pirate wrote:
    I found more Jack Daniels... go me =\

    I'm gonna get some more vodka tomorrow... Somehow it makes things feel better =\

    ;[ drink isn't the answer to your problems. Yeh maybe temporarily, but not LT. Look after yourself :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How do you get from feeling suicidal to feeling happy again?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    with effort.

    but the suicidal feelings pass.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Today I've started going of my Paxil. I'm supposed to take 20mg for 2 weeks then 10mg for two weeks then go see the Dr. She suggested Effexor (Venlafaxine)
    I'm trying to Research all the different AD/Anxiety meds before confirming to one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been feeling a bit happier last of couple weeks but I've just a bad day, and the urges to cut have started to come back again. Bugger it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    be careful. life is so worth it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've got a few people on my back at work and life in general is getting me down. I've got problems with my family and uni life at the moment and its just getting too much.I don't have any friends I can really confide in. I have trust issues.

    I'm considering taking my life tonight. I just want it all to end.


    It is a lot, lot easier to take it away than get it back. No matter how deep the hole you are currently in, there is an enormous chance that there is a way out of it, and that it is worth exploring. You may feel nothing but loneliness and utter despair at the moment - but you will almost certainly not feel like that forever.

    My door is always open to _anyone_ who would like to talk to someone outside of their personal situations. As said before, I can't promise that I'll be able to make anything better, but I'll give my word that it'll go no further, and that I'd try to help as much I can :).

    I might as well join in, just to make things a little more complete. I've had a bloody lousy start to the year, I really have. I've been judged, and probably deemed a failure by one of the people I care about most in life. I've spent days feeling so withdrawn, so uncomfortable with life - and then I got a second opinion on what was said. Then a third, and a fourth. They all said the same thing - that I'd done nothing wrong, that the other person was out of line. It was later that night it hit me - I'm not the failure. I know I feel like it much of the time, but I've succeeded in my quest to not make the mistakes I believe this other person has made. They may have a lot more than me in terms of money, belongings, etc, etc - but they have failed people in the past who genuinely didn't deserve it. I can now see that they have failed, and I can see where. I'm sure it'll make no sense to anyone on here, as I'm not going to get into specifics - sorry!

    Take care everyone :). Sleep well, and I hope you're all able to return to this forum in the near future.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote:
    How do you get from feeling suicidal to feeling happy again?

    in my experience you fucking don't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I want to do daft things to myself.

    I'm not entirely sure why.

    Meh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pm franki x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    I want to do daft things to myself.

    I'm not entirely sure why.

    Meh.

    Sorry if I'm coming across as a dick which I'm probably am but are you being serious? You're a fucking god/godess around here and you seem so happy generally in anything goes and other boards so why the fuck are saying this shite? Have you any fucking idea what it's like being battered by your dad, your dad being an alcoholic, your family being full of alcoholics who have died...knowing your dad is going to die very soon? Do you know what it's like going to bed being hungry because there's no food in the cupboard? Do you? Well do you!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, you're being a dick Turlough.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote:
    How do you get from feeling suicidal to feeling happy again?

    hard work, a good doctor and sheer determination. nowt else.

    you don't just wake up one day and think 'hooray, i'm happy now'. and there are no heroes riding in to save you. you do it yourself, and you have to choose it and really, really, REALLY want it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    Sorry if I'm coming across as a dick which I'm probably am but are you being serious? You're a fucking god/godess around here and you seem so happy generally in anything goes and other boards so why the fuck are saying this shite? Have you any fucking idea what it's like being battered by your dad, your dad being an alcoholic, your family being full of alcoholics who have died...knowing your dad is going to die very soon? Do you know what it's like going to bed being hungry because there's no food in the cupboard? Do you? Well do you!!!!!!!!!!!
    No, you're right, I don't. But that doesn't mean I can't feel like shite from time to time.

    You sound like my mother.

    Different people react in different ways to different things. You have no idea how guilty I feel sometimes when fucking terrible things are happening to people, I've got a pretty ok life, they're still positive, and I'm sat in my bedroom in tears wanting to carve stuff into myself. It's not a nice feeling.

    I know I seem "generally happy" in AG, but that's because it's the Internet, it's easy to fake it. I can fake it in real life most of the time, too. I don't want people to know when I'm feeling shitty, unless I tell them. I post in here so I can vent, which, I believe, is partly what the thread is for. If I went round other boards going "omg I'm so depressed, I want to die" people would start calling me attention-seeking and not taking me seriously.

    In short, yes turlough, you're being a dick.

    ETA: Goddess? Hardly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote:
    I know I seem "generally happy" in AG, but that's because it's the Internet, it's easy to fake it. I can fake it in real life most of the time, too.

    I think at least some of the time you are genuinely happy hon. I mean, I know a lot of the time you're not, and thats why its brilliant that you've got loads and loads of great friends on here who want to try and cheer you up or just talk to you if you dont feel like being happy. But I think sometimes you are happy, you're not pretending, or you're 'pretending to pretend' if you get me. Life is a series of events going from good to bad, and all you can do is hold onto the ones that actually make you happy.

    Anyway, I dont mean to sound like Im preaching or anything here. Just remember that in the end, the thing that matters most is your happiness, not what your mum or sisters think about anything. Discover for yourself what makes you happy, and then nobody will be able to take that away from you. No matter how annoying or patronising or upsetting everyone else can be, you'll always have your own little corner of happiness just for you.

    Take care
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