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tw//: domestic violence. self harm.

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Comments

  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    pissed of bc thought was safe from him but police let me down again. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    i’m so alone :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    i cant cope with this. :heartbreak:
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,381 Boards Champion
    eylah wrote: »
    found out by police who took my statment my ex who put me through domestic violence hasnt been arrested or anything. nothing has happened. :/ i feel so shit bc i was told id have safety messures in place but bc he hasnt been ‘looked into’ or whatever he can contact me etc. i feel so shit. :/ its been months now 3/4 months.

    Thats awful, I’m so sorry. They really need to take these things more seriously. 🫂 big hugs eylah, you don’t deserve all this crap
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    i feel even more unsafe now going out bc of this its wrong.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    It's completely understandable to hear how you're not feeling safe because the police have let you down despite promising to put some safety measures in place. It sounds so incredibly hard to navigate this situation Eylah, and you absolutely deserve to feel safe and supported through it all.

    If you're looking for any advice or guidance on what to do next with the police or how to find additional ways to protect yourself, reaching our to Women's Aid could be a great option. They have a range of support options such as email, webchat and forum, so you could connect with them in a way that feels comfortable for you. You can find out more over on their website here - https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

    In additional to that, remember we're all here for you too. You're not alone in this and we're here to help <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    the lady officer who is in charge is horrible i rly do not like her. she keeps making excuses to why things havent happened and im done with it. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    was out and saw him and his friends i ran home bc im struggling now after that. im home alone again tonight i cant deal with this 😭😭.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    police dc abt me im scared of him sm :/.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    they arent investigating him i been told i feel humiliated rn wasted my time on reporting to police. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    i will never go police anymore bc theyve let me down so badly bc i wasnt gonna do a statment but was told to do it bc id get justice but bullshit bc theyve not done anything not even done anything they said they would ifs upsetting me bc i just give up with ppl bc theyve let me down so badly. :heartbreak:
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Sian321Sian321 Moderator Posts: 86 Budding Regular
    edited October 23
    Hey @eylah , I'm so sorry to hear about the police's decision not to investigate. I can imagine that feels devastating, and it sounds like you're really scared and angry which makes so much sense. I hear you say you're humiliated, but I want to reassure you that it was 100% valid of you to report his dv towards you, and you deserve to be taken seriously.

    Did the police offer you any information about next-steps here, or what else could be done?
    Day-to-day has there been anything you've found that has helped you to feel a bit safer from him?

    I'll list out a few advocacy services below if that feels helpful in getting your voice heard:
    https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-we-can-help-you/independent-advocacy/
    https://www.nyas.net/
    https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
    If you do ever feel unsafe too, it is always an option to dial 999.


    Keep us posted - we're with you <3
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,065 Boards Champion
    Hey @eylah, I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through. I can understand how you feel let down by police. You've reported this and given a statement believing that justice would be served, so to hear that they're not investigating must be really hard to hear. I can also understand how going out is scary given that you don't feel protected. @Aoife provided a good support service that might be helpful to understand how to go forwards from this. Please do let us know how you're getting on, because we're here to listen to you. You deserve to be heard and supported <3
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  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    Sian321 wrote: »
    Hey @eylah , I'm so sorry to hear about the police's decision not to investigate. I can imagine that feels devastating, and it sounds like you're really scared and angry which makes so much sense. I hear you say you're humiliated, but I want to reassure you that it was 100% valid of you to report his dv towards you, and you deserve to be taken seriously.

    Did the police offer you any information about next-steps here, or what else could be done?
    Day-to-day has there been anything you've found that has helped you to feel a bit safer from him?

    I'll list out a few advocacy services below if that feels helpful in getting your voice heard:
    https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-we-can-help-you/independent-advocacy/
    https://www.nyas.net/
    https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
    If you do ever feel unsafe too, it is always an option to dial 999.


    Keep us posted - we're with you <3

    hi @Sian321 the lady officer who took my statment and in charge of everything told me hed be arrested id have protection bc bail conditions will be made ( never was ) of him not being allowed to contact me etc but she made excuses every time i asked what was happening bc she for months told me nothing and now ik why bc she wasnt doing anything. she said he wasnt being done or arrested for this nor interviewed or anything so i hanged up and cried bc i feel so deflated bc it took so much to go through with it. but now idk they investigated when i was sexually assaulted they cared then but idk why they dont care abt this hes a danger to women and they dont care its awful. :/ thankyou i have tried women aid but its not rly for me bc thats when ppl are in abuse rn but im not so i feel out of place talking to them.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    Azziman wrote: »
    Hey @eylah, I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through. I can understand how you feel let down by police. You've reported this and given a statement believing that justice would be served, so to hear that they're not investigating must be really hard to hear. I can also understand how going out is scary given that you don't feel protected. @Aoife provided a good support service that might be helpful to understand how to go forwards from this. Please do let us know how you're getting on, because we're here to listen to you. You deserve to be heard and supported <3

    ive tried women’s aid but they are for ppl in abuse rn and im not so feel out of place using them so im ok coping by myself. thankyou though
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Matthew_04Matthew_04 Moderator Posts: 190 Trailblazer
    Hi @eylah
    Just wanted to jump in here and let you know that women's aid is also for survivors of domestic abuse, here's the section of the website all about that:
    https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/ive-left-and-i-need-support/
    If you feel comfortable and think it would help you can also reach out for some support from them by dropping them a wee email :)
    I hear that you've not too keen on contacting them but i thought i'd let you know that they do have support available to you <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,589 The Mix Elder
    Matthew_04 wrote: »
    Hi @eylah
    Just wanted to jump in here and let you know that women's aid is also for survivors of domestic abuse, here's the section of the website all about that:
    https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/ive-left-and-i-need-support/
    If you feel comfortable and think it would help you can also reach out for some support from them by dropping them a wee email :)
    I hear that you've not too keen on contacting them but i thought i'd let you know that they do have support available to you <3

    oh thankyou so much ❤️
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
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