Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

tw//: domestic violence. self harm.

eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
edited July 16 in Sex & Relationships
with my recent post. i was in a relationship with my now ex bf. was goin back to his often. it stated of ok. but he then got abusive. i reported to police couple times with the verbal abuse. but took no action. later in our relationship. he started physically attacking me. he left marks on my body. he did a lot to me. i didnt tell anyone. but police came out to me for wellfare check. and they asked me why i was harming myself. the lady said i was to pretty to do that to myself. i told her bc i trusted her of what he did to me. she said did i want to do a statment. i said no bc i loce him still. she said she would speak to her surgent. but she swid they take domestic violence seriously. and i am in mix minds. i love him. but i dont know if i am string enough to make a statment. i have never been through this before. so idk what im doing. i feel so attached to him. but i dont know. i feel so alone. isolated. :(.
keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
«134

Comments

  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,710 Extreme Poster
    Hi @eylah

    First of all, I'm so sorry you're going through all that. I can't even imagine how you feel.

    It can be a tricky and confusing situation when the person we love is hurting us, as part of you wants to forgive and believe it will turn out okay, but part of you (i assume) recognises the way he treats you isn't okay.

    At the end of the day, it's your call whether or not you make a statement or not. As for questionning whether you are strong enough - I'd argue you definitely are. The fact you've been open to us about it on here shows me your strength and I'm proud of you for that. If you did make a statement, I'm sure there would be people available to guide you through the process and stuff, you wouldn't be on your own in it. At the end of the day, the question is - is it going to carry on or is the situatio going to get better? and is he loving you the way you deserve?

    But like I said, it's your decision on what you do about the situation. We'll support you with your decision whatever you choose, and remember you can always come to us for more support when you need. You are absolutely not alone.

    Sending hugs
    Sinead
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    sinead276 wrote: »
    Hi @eylah

    First of all, I'm so sorry you're going through all that. I can't even imagine how you feel.

    It can be a tricky and confusing situation when the person we love is hurting us, as part of you wants to forgive and believe it will turn out okay, but part of you (i assume) recognises the way he treats you isn't okay.

    At the end of the day, it's your call whether or not you make a statement or not. As for questionning whether you are strong enough - I'd argue you definitely are. The fact you've been open to us about it on here shows me your strength and I'm proud of you for that. If you did make a statement, I'm sure there would be people available to guide you through the process and stuff, you wouldn't be on your own in it. At the end of the day, the question is - is it going to carry on or is the situatio going to get better? and is he loving you the way you deserve?

    But like I said, it's your decision on what you do about the situation. We'll support you with your decision whatever you choose, and remember you can always come to us for more support when you need. You are absolutely not alone.

    Sending hugs
    Sinead

    thank you. police officer from that night. said she will call or email me. when she back. idk. i want tk do what best for me. and i dint want any other girls going through this. i have a lot happening atm so idk if i can handle a court case. i just feel isolated thank you.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • EmLizEmLiz Moderator, Staff Posts: 50 Boards Initiate
    edited July 16
    hey @eylah , I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling isolated and have a lot going on <3 I just wanted to say we were here for you if you ever do feel alone or just need a friendly face.

    I would also echo @sinead276 you have already been so strong by reaching out - it's not easy so well done!

    Do let us know how it goes when the officer gets in touch. Hopefully they can provide you with a bit more information so you can start thinking through what is best for you. To repeat what was said above, take it one step at a time and do whatever feels right to you
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    thank you. tomoz i got my xray appt. and gettin my sh dressed. then i will open up to dad abt this. and ask him to help contact police.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • ameliaJayneameliaJayne Deactivated Posts: 94 Budding Regular
    @eylah I am so proud of you for opening up about your situation, your strength is truly admirable.

    Be kind to yourself and take everything one step at a time, you are doing an amazing job with an extremely difficult situation. Maybe you could try to imagine if it was a friend going through your situation, what advice would you give them?

    Don't feel shy to ask the police lots of questions about things that you aren't sure about. You are right when you said you have never been through something like this before and so you deserve to have all the options and consequences explained to you properly so you can make the best decision for you. <3

    You are never alone. Keep reaching out to family and keep us updated on The Mix. We are always here for you. Xxx

  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    edited July 16
    ameliaJayne wrote: »
    @eylah I am so proud of you for opening up about your situation, your strength is truly admirable.

    Be kind to yourself and take everything one step at a time, you are doing an amazing job with an extremely difficult situation. Maybe you could try to imagine if it was a friend going through your situation, what advice would you give them?

    Don't feel shy to ask the police lots of questions about things that you aren't sure about. You are right when you said you have never been through something like this before and so you deserve to have all the options and consequences explained to you properly so you can make the best decision for you. <3

    You are never alone. Keep reaching out to family and keep us updated on The Mix. We are always here for you. Xxx

    oh my. thank you so much. this means a lot. xx
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    so scared to tell dad. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,710 Extreme Poster
    just wanted to say again you're so strong for what you're going through and i'm super proud of you - we are all here for you <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    thank you. @sinead276 . im just hella scared. my xrsy is tomoz then will be telling dad after. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    3 hours til my appt. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 423 Listening Ear
    I hope your appointment goes ok @eylah
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,710 Extreme Poster
    edited July 17
    Also wanted to say I hope your appointment goes well today @eylah
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    sinead276 wrote: »
    Also wanted to say I hope your appointment goes well today @eylah

    thank you. after my appt will update here. thank you <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    sobbing. dad didnt take it well. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • Matthew_04Matthew_04 Moderator Posts: 209 Trailblazer
    Hi @eylah I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through right now, it's an incredibly tough situation and you're dealing with all of this really well <3
    eylah wrote: »
    sobbing. dad didnt take it well. :(
    It must have been really difficult to see your dad react like that. Having that support in person can really helpful. Have you got any other family members or friends that you would feel comfortable talking to about this?
    It's super important to remember that you're not alone and it takes a lot of courage to deal with a situation like this <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    no. @Matthew_04 . dad is only one who listens. but not this time. idk if it shock or. idk but i am so upset. shouldnt of rold him. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,710 Extreme Poster
    first of all i'm super proud for you being brave and telling your dad about the situation - you absolutely did what you thought was the right thing, and none of this situation is your fault. you haven't done anything wrong.

    it could be the case that he is in shock, as i can't imagine its easy to hear your child has gone through this - so maybe he needs a bit of time to just process it himself first. (a possibility but i couldn't say for sure)

    either way, well done you for being brave and speaking up to him. and we are all extremely proud of you and are here for you however we can be - you are absolutely not alone in this like Matthew said.

    Sending you a big hug
    Sinead
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    edited July 17
    feel like i caused his upset. he was fine before i opened my stupid mouth. i hate hate myself. :(.

    thank you. @sinead276 <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,710 Extreme Poster
    edited July 18
    First of all, I hope you're okay this morning

    I know it might feel like you've caused him to be upset but it might not the the case.

    it might be that the situation has caused him upset because he has learned what you've been through, but it is important to remember that you weren't the cause of the situation at all. you didn't want the things that happened to happen.

    I know it might seem hard to get your mind to agree with, but you're not at fault in this situation. you haven't done anything wrong :3 - we are all here to support you!!!
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    thank you. domestic violence support. is ringing me today. so scared abt that. will try talkiing to dad. thank you @sinead276 <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    they never called. was told they would.maybe they might. idk. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    give up with this. never fucking called. shen said they would. dad can fuck off too. done with him. tried being open but get a mood from him. mum is seriously poorly in hospital. done with everything. fed up on reaching out. :(.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • issieissie Moderator Posts: 63 Boards Initiate
    Hey @eylah,

    I'm really sorry to hear what is going on for you right now and that you aren't getting the support you deserve from your dad or domestic violence support. You have been very brave to reach out and we are very proud of you.

    I just wanted to drop you a message with some signposts you might be able to use if you're looking for some extra support <3
    Refuge: https://refuge.org.uk/ - Refuge provides emotional support via phone, webchat, webform or email. Refuge supports women through all forms of violence and abuse.

    Solace: https://solace-uk.org.uk/ - Solace is an organisation which offers advice, practical help, emotional support and therapeutic services to women and children who have been affected by any form of male violence. Their advice line number is 0800 802 5565 and is open 10am - 4pm Monday to Friday and additional hours of 6-8pm on Tuesdays.

    Take good care of yourself and let us know how you get on? I'm really glad to see the community has supported you so well here <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    thank you. police just turned up. but was out of it. dad told them to come back later. not in mood to talk about anything to them. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,710 Extreme Poster
    @eylah - first off all, sorry to hear they didn't call you yesterday like you were expecting. Remember it's totally okay for you to not feel up to talking to them at the moment, it is completely up to you to decide when you are ready and in the mood to do so.

    Hope you're okay today :3
    Sinead
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    thank you. think ill talk to them later.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    they arent coming. keep being let down. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    Oh no, could you maybe contact them again @eylah? You do not deserve to keep being let down. We are all here with you. What might help right now? <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 5,220 Part of The Furniture
    @Laura_tigger82 omg hi. missed you last week. bc was in hospital. hi. :). police might be coming round next week. idk :(.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

    pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,710 Extreme Poster
    Also wanted to say sorry to hear they didn't come last week. Hopefully they do this week for you.

    and like Laura said and I've probably said loads of times - we are all here for you
Sign In or Register to comment.