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tw//: domestic violence. self harm.

24

Comments

  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    sinead276 wrote: »
    Also wanted to say sorry to hear they didn't come last week. Hopefully they do this week for you.

    and like Laura said and I've probably said loads of times - we are all here for you

    sry for only replying til now. i appreciate your kind words towards me. thank you. <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    this is best to put this. i miss him. 230 in morning. idk why im thinking abt him. im crying over someone who assaulted me. multiple fucking times. :/. i feel so shit abt this. twice now. in two fucking days. ive thought abt our old relationship. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    i feel so stupid. im crying over nothing.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,382 Boards Champion
    @eylah it sounds like you’ve been through a lot. It’s not nothing. It’s ok to cry and you’re allowed to feel all these things.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    @eylah it sounds like you’ve been through a lot. It’s not nothing. It’s ok to cry and you’re allowed to feel all these things.
    thank you. tryin to forget abt it. but man. its so hard. :/ especially bc my dad isnt supportive of me and my needs. ( mh needs.). but hugs me now again.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    police just come. doin a statment tmr.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • GemmaGemma Community Manager Posts: 1,138 Wise Owl
    Let us know how it goes @eylah <3 How would you feel about writing some things down prior to tomorrow to get your thoughts out on what you'd like to share?
    ♡♡♡
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    im scared abt what happens after. im scared to leave the house bc of him now. im more scared bc if he finds out ive reported him. :(. i want to feel safe. but hes making it really hard for me to feel safe.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    idk. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • amy02amy02 Moderator Posts: 355 Listening Ear
    Hi @eylah just wanted to say you're so brave for reaching out to us and the police. You are not alone in this and we are all here to support you <3 I can understand why reporting him is scary, and you deserve to feel safe leaving the house.
    I agree with the above that perhaps writing some things down tonight might be helpful, and in the meantime, do you have anything you like to do that makes you feel calm and safe?

    Keep checking in, we're here for you :3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    edited July 29
    idk what to write. as its a victim statment. idk. im scared hell hit me. when fhey arrest him. so its hard for me. i feel so worthless. :/ he knows my address too. thank you amy. <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    just remembered. got statment today. ruin my day. :(. need sleep. my statment at 3:30pm today. :sleepy:
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • GemmaGemma Community Manager Posts: 1,138 Wise Owl
    You're not worthless @eylah, you're so strong for reaching out for help. It's understandable to be scared, especially when your safety feels threatened.

    It's very brave of you to be giving a victim statement. Feeling scared and anxious is a natural response to what's happening. But you deserve to feel safe, to have your voice heard, and to acknowledge your fear and the impact this situation is having on you. <3

    In terms of your statement, it might be helpful to focus more on your feelings - how this has affected you emotionally, how what happened has impacted your daily life and behaviours, and your fears about what might happen. It's also really important to address your needs and what you feel you need put in place for your safety. You're very strong and that's worth conveying too - you've shown a lot of courage in coming forward and you want to protect yourself.

    Victim Support have a nice guide on writing a victim personal statement which you might like to read over. They have some tips and advice too on what to write.

    Do you think you could have someone you trust come along with you if it's possible? Let us know how it goes, we'll be thinking of you. <3
    ♡♡♡
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    edited July 30
    i done the statment. im feeling upset. :/ she came at 1:30.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    dad wouldnt go in with me. so was by myself. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    i fucking hate dad. wouldnt help me. i fucking hate him.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,664 Extreme Poster
    hi @eylah

    first of all, i hope you're okay after giving your statement - i know that can't have been easy for you at all.
    I'm sorry to hear your dad wouldn't go in with you; i can't imagine how it would've felt to not have had the support you wanted from your dad.

    Like Gemma said before, it's perfectly fine and expected for you to feel anxious, upset or however you feel. It's important to remember that whatever you are feeling right now is valid and you are allowed to feel it.

    I just wanted to say that both myself and everyone else here are super proud of you for continuing to be brave during this difficult time for you, and remember you've always got us in your corner when you need it.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    thank you. i hate it.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    i feel so let down by dad. i have so much goin on. i needed help. as its so tricky. dealing with the abuse. i dont feel loved. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    dad has no right. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • EmLizEmLiz Moderator, Staff Posts: 50 Boards Initiate
    @eylah I'm so sorry you feel let down - that is totally understandable and I'm so sorry you had to do it on your own <3 that must have been really tough but well done for getting through it. You really are so strong. You are also always allowed to feel whatever feelings come up, especially when you feel let down by people in your life, so please do keep sharing them here for support and some virtual hugs on here whenever needed.

    I also just wanted to make sure you knew that you are loved on here and we're here whenever you need us. I know it's been said but it's always worth being reminded. How are you doing today? <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    EmmaLiz wrote: »
    @eylah I'm so sorry you feel let down - that is totally understandable and I'm so sorry you had to do it on your own <3 that must have been really tough but well done for getting through it. You really are so strong. You are also always allowed to feel whatever feelings come up, especially when you feel let down by people in your life, so please do keep sharing them here for support and some virtual hugs on here whenever needed.

    I also just wanted to make sure you knew that you are loved on here and we're here whenever you need us. I know it's been said but it's always worth being reminded. How are you doing today? <3

    low. im not gd. :/. thank you <3. i dont feel loved.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    far from loved and cared abt.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,382 Boards Champion
    We care about you @eylah don’t forget that <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    thank you. <3 i appreciate you. <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    im still unsure. idk if i want to with drawl it. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,307 Part of The Furniture
    Would you like to talk about the pros and cons of withdrawing it @eylah? It is okay not to be sure but we can provide a space for you to talk about how you are feeling and your thoughts if you wish to <3
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  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    @Laura_tigger82 idk im just upset abt it all i know doing the statment was best decision i did but the whole process of the investigation is tiring. i already have a investigation going on regarding someone else so its to much. :( thank you for replying to me i really appreciate it <3.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • GemmaGemma Community Manager Posts: 1,138 Wise Owl
    We're here for you @eylah - it sounds so incredibly tiring to be going through this process of giving your statement on top of another investigation. It's no wonder you're feeling exhausted and upset. <3

    It sounds like you feel giving the statement was the best thing to do to keep yourself safe and to acknowledge what you went through. Do you know what the next stage is of this process?

    We're here if you wanted to talk more about this other investigation too if you're able to and feel comfy. You're doing so well to keep reaching out. <3
    ♡♡♡
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,833 The Mix Elder
    thank you @Gemma . i am not comfortable sharing yet as i dont know how to share it. plus everyone can see it. im so scared bc ik im at risk from him if i go out. so its awful for me. i feel so scared bc dad wont support me or protect me.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
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