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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    Panic attack at work fml doesnt happen often. I jsut want to go home now. Its like death
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hello!

    Just popping in to say that I’m here if anyone needs a friendly chat x
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,799 Master Poster
    I don't know how much longer I will be able to cope with the bullying after half term. I don't even know if I can go back. It has all just gotten too much but I deserve it. 😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😭😭😢😭😢😭😭😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 2019
    Have my PIP (disability benefits) appointment today & have to go all way to wisbech on bus. Think will be sitting on bus for 50mins. Dont even know how to yet. Im fake. But i cant cancel again. Ill just go & say whatever & im sure they decide if im fake or not
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Shaunie said:
    Have my PIP (disability benefits) appointment today & have to go all way to wisbech on bus. Dont even know how to yet. Im fake. But i cant cancel again. Ill just go & say whatever & im sure they decide if im fake or not
    Best of luck, their are evil, they use very complex which the average human doesn't understand, hope you don't have to wait 4 hours like I did, 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    I've got to phone my gp today, to see if he will prescribe me the melotoning, wish me luck 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    davcr0ck said:
    Shaunie said:
    Have my PIP (disability benefits) appointment today & have to go all way to wisbech on bus. Dont even know how to yet. Im fake. But i cant cancel again. Ill just go & say whatever & im sure they decide if im fake or not
    Best of luck, their are evil, they use very complex which the average human doesn't understand, hope you don't have to wait 4 hours like I did, 
    Oh dear, think i may cancel then lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Shaunie said:
    davcr0ck said:
    Shaunie said:
    Have my PIP (disability benefits) appointment today & have to go all way to wisbech on bus. Dont even know how to yet. Im fake. But i cant cancel again. Ill just go & say whatever & im sure they decide if im fake or not
    Best of luck, their are evil, they use very complex which the average human doesn't understand, hope you don't have to wait 4 hours like I did, 
    Oh dear, think i may cancel then lol
    Your choice, its just my experience was awful, it could be over and done with in 30 minutes with you 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    I’m such a fat disgusting ugly pig whore :( hate myself hate everything about me 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Sending hugs to those who need them. :heart: 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,799 Master Poster
    I feel like I am such an idiot who will never do well in the future. I want to either have a career as a paramedic or at The Mix but I am way too dumb to even be good enough to flip burgers at McDonalds. I will never be good enough for my career hopes. Someone please tell me I am stupid and to get rid of my hopeful ideas. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Super. Long story short, I'm getting worried about Ruby and I'm scared that it may be relatively rational this time. Hopefully not. I won't be worried if I don't see any more signs, but if I do then yeah, off I go into anxiety.

    Anyway, in other news, who else thinks I should end my life? Lol. 'Cause no one will ever care or like me and I suck and I feel awful and there are no options and life's too pointless and worthless etc.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm sure no one cares. And that I'm an unlikable person who's messed up too much.

    I just feel so alone.
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    I've had an crap day and now one of my old bullys has found my new instgram and is going to Oxford pride to meet me and my boyfriend, I hate my life at the moment 

    I am safe btw, I haven't got that deep into sadness and depression 
    I don't know what's the hell is going to happen, I'm really scared and I don't know if I should tell me boyfriend about this or not 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself.

    That's what my mind is telling me all the time. And tbh I should probably just do as it says...

    (safe)
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm so sad. I don't want to do this anymore.

    Not gonna go into it all, but I just keep feeling like there's no hope, sad, like no one cares and I'm alone, and a load of other things. And every thought my brain gives me is practically telling me, "kill yourself". It's a never ending battle (or maybe just more like an attack).

    Also, it's June now. In thirteen days, it will be three years since my gorgeous girl passed. She didn't deserve such a fuck up as an owner and I still think I was probably the reason she died so young and suddenly.

    I'm fighting to get to a light that isn't even there. I should honestly kill myself. I don't even deserve to be alive lol.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Feel so bad gone and sat inside becuase just felt too uncomfortable around everyone :( 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Been doing some thinking about how I could end my life. I've got a good idea on what to say in the note, but not 100% sure on how to die with ease or make my suicide more bearable for my family and pets. I'm hoping I can figure that out, it would be so lovely to end this fucking miserable existence of a terrible person :)

    (except I'm safe and have no plans)
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    edited June 2019
    TRIGGER WARNING

    Im going to binge eat. I don’t know why. But i feel like it is a form of self harm cause feel intentionally wanting to be ill

    [edited by moderator]
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,799 Master Poster

    I feel really embarrassed to talk about my eating problem. I got bullied at school for the spots on my face and it has caused me to hate my body and want to go on a diet to get rid of them. If I go on a diet I won't get spots because I won't be eating so much chocolate although it is really hard as eating chocolate means I at least eat something. It doesn't help me that I am going through a very emotional time and that my dad is going on holiday and I feel like he is the only person I can talk to about my eating when there is no wifi. When I feel emotional I either do not want to eat or eat too much. I can't help it and I can't think of any distractions. Sorry if none of that made sense but I am in tears right now. I also find it really difficult when I have to eat around the table or with other people because I feel pressured to eat something and actually be sociable which is very hard when in my mind I am like "run away. Social eating is hell." I also hate vegetables because of primary school where I was made to have at least 1 salad item which has made me hate most healthy foods and just want to eat way too much chocolate which does not help my spots either.

    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit

    Ever walk through town by yourself and feel like youre dead and feel no connection to anyhing, anyone or yourself. With no emotions or feelings. And you can not tell if everything is loud or quiet or too close or too far. And feel like no one can see you and no one makes eye contact with you and  that you are not walking on the actual ground and that youre about a few cms above the ground. And brain feels like it is floating aswell. 

    Happens to me alllll the time


    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    I dont want to rub my sadness on anyone or anything. But i am sooooo sad and suicidal. Please die
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    I dont want to rub my sadness on anyone or anything. But i am sooooo sad and suicidal. Please die
    :( Hugs x
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    You actually expect me to put up with this vocal cord pain any longer. It's actually horrible and I don't think it will ever go away at this rate.

    And I'm really struggling. If you hadn't noticed :pensive:
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,505 Skive's The Limit
    Cant sleep cause cant breath properly lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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