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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,515 Skive's The Limit
    Having really bad mood swings 😭😭😭😭😭😭one min im happy next im sad. Next im angry. And angry is worst one cause affects other people aswell
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I don't want to overload you in case you just need to vent @Shaunie - just letting you know I hope you feel (at least somewhat) better in the morning. We care. Sending hugs <3 x
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,804 Master Poster
    Currently hiding in the toilets on my own in tears. I hate myself. Two girls actually were worried but they shouldn't be. Nobody ever cares about me. I deserve to feel this way. 😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Sending hugs folks <3
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,804 Master Poster
    A girl on the bus was so creepy. She kept on talking about me and my boyfriend  (who my mum does not know about) in front of my brother in law. Now he told my mum about it so I am hiding in my room hoping that I won't be told off. I blocked my boyfriend's number because the relationship was getting sketchy and my mum would tell me to do that anyway before confiscating my phone and banning me from WhatsApping anyone except my mum, my sisters, my dad and a lady who is like another mum to me (my mum knows her very well.) 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,515 Skive's The Limit
    Getting emails saying i need to hand in my payment if i want my certificate for training. That is £79. Of corse id want the certificate but how can we pay for it before even finished.  Cant cope how they know and i dont have money and isnt dying easier
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,804 Master Poster
    edited May 2019
    Phew. So relieved. My mum told me to come downstairs. At first I was freaking out but it turns out she was just asking me if I wanted to go to trampolining tonight as my sister was avaliable to take me. I said no as it is pointless paying £60 for 2 weeks as it is £60 per 6 weeks and I have had to miss 4 weeks due to my mum. She mentioned nothing about my boyfriend (or what happened on the bus) and didn't seem angry at all. Phew. I think my mum was simply proud that I ignored the girl when she was talking about me and trying to speak to me. I pretended to be busy on my phone  (well I sort of was busy but I just wanted to ignore her.) 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,804 Master Poster
    Shaunie said:
    Getting emails saying i need to hand in my payment if i want my certificate for training. That is £79. Of corse id want the certificate but how can we pay for it before even finished.  Cant cope how they know and i dont have money and isnt dying easier
    Being made to pay for the certificate before the end of the course is ridiculous. It is also ridiculous that it is £79 but I understand why because of the type of course it is and how rare it is to get a space. Sending hugs.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited May 2019
    Everyone's mad at me omg. I'm hated I swear.
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,804 Master Poster
    Fell off my bed and hurt my foot. I am a fucking idiot. Owwww. Gonna put some ice on it, rest up and see doctor tomorrow if it still hurts.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    It really feels so intense :-( Like I've upset people or am not good enough or something. I just feel like everyone's mad at me.

    Wait. Why am I posting here. I don't even deserve hugs. And everyone hates me anyway. Not sure what's happening to me anymore.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,148 Part of The Furniture
    I have an exam at quater past 1 and I really don’t think I can go 😩
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I wake up and I honestly just think, sleep brought some level of peace, even if I had bad dreams, and now I have to go through another day of struggling.

    Life's ugly and plain and hopeless. So am I ahah. And I can't live with how I feel. I should just kill myself.

    I'm really sad and distressed. And it never ends.
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    My gp wants to see me to discuss my recent hospital admission... and I'm panicking, he's never asked to see me after a hospital admission before... 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I just missed out on spending time with my guinea pig so that I could just write a rant on my upset about the past. But you know what, fuck it actually, no one cares. I'm not publishing it.

    And I think I'm going to cry because I JUST CAN'T FUCKING COPE ANYMORE. It really hurts. I want to end my "life". I want to end it and just be in nothingness. Like I say, life's ugly and not worth it. I'm a fucking rubbish human being. And I'm so sad and in pain. The list could go on. YOU DON'T NEED TO HEAR IT. Point is, I want to end it and not have to continue forward.

    I'm physically safe right now. But I'm really not safe from my thoughts and feelings. THAT'S WHAT I NEED SAVING FROM, not suicide. I just want someone to come save me from myself. Make things okay.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    My suicide fantasies, I can't go into, for there are moderators around. I'm probably abusing this site anyway though. By just using it. Nobody wants to interact with such a disgusting person. I really hate myself.

    The pain is so horrible. I'm not sure if anyone even cares or can hear how bad I'm feeling. But it hurts.

    I can't change anything. I CAN'T CAN I. I REALLY WANT IT TO END.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm still "safe" though. Just really miserable and struggling:'( And fucking pathetic.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I really really want to scream and cry all the pain out. But can't because of my vocal cords (and my family and pets).

    I'm distressed. Struggling so much.

    Sorry. I'm a whiny brat. I'll get tf off here and shut up now.

    I just need help:'( Need it to be okay.
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    I don't know what it is but some reason, ever since I came out gay, at my college, people in my year have became more strange (nicer way to put it) today an boy in my class though it would be ok to stroke my inner thigh all lesson 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,515 Skive's The Limit
    On work experience in office doing nothing lol. I mean dont mind. Im going to home appointment soon which should be interesting but im getting really anxious. Been asked load of questions this morning about the peers i saw on Tuesday about three things about them -positive and i felt confident enough to answer its just stressful tbh cause it feels like it was a while ago now so getting stressed about everything i say
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Sorry for my spamming last night.

    I shouldn't have woken up.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Maybe I should leave the site lol. Shouldn't even be here. Am not needed or wanted and am just a fuck up.

    I don't know how I'm supposed to make it through another day at this rate.
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,804 Master Poster
    edited May 2019
    Parents evening today and my mum is getting calls from the school. Only from Maths, English, Science, Geography, Spanish and Dance though. Still freaking out as let's just say my behaviour in Dance and Geography is a bit iffy and I missed a piece of homework once but I made it up and nothing else was said. Here is what each subject teacher would say if it was every subject:

    Art- Not very confident and needs to work harder and be more organised.
    Computing- Works very hard and always does homework. Great student. 
    Dance- Argues a lot, never works with other people, attendance is good always does homework and much better than last year.
    Drama- Always does homework, needs to work on attitude, not very confident but better than last year.
    English- Argumentative, works hard, does homework, loud, rude and weird.
    Geography- Crazy, good work, awesome grades, talks too much and hands in homework on time if not early. 
    History- Great work, great homework and always on time if not early.
    Music- Argumentative, not confident and loud. 
    PE- Works very hard, good attendance and works better on own instead of with other people.
    PPE- Argumentative, does great work, great homework and behaviour is OK. 
    Science- Works very hard, amazing grades, amazing attendance and works well.
    Spanish- Great work, needs to work on confidence, decent attendance, writes unkind things in book but good student.
    Technology- Works hard, good homework but struggles a lot.
    Religious Studies- Argumentative, bossy, good group work and always does homework on time and actually more organised this year.
    Post edited by Dancer on
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,515 Skive's The Limit
    I ate too much and now feel sick and yeah just so sick
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,515 Skive's The Limit
    Sooo tired
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    I'm fed up of not being able to get my normal amount of sleep and I keep waking up at 4am and then not being able to go back to sleep 



    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,515 Skive's The Limit
    Come back from home vistit and asked to pratice writing notes about the visist. Never done that before. If knew id of payed more attention lol stressed
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,515 Skive's The Limit
    Shaunie said:
    Come back from home vistit and asked to pratice writing notes about the visist. Never done that before. If knew id of payed more attention lol stressed
    She said i did this good. Cant help but this mine was completly different to hers lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,804 Master Poster
    They had better be lying 😭😢💔 RIP bubba. Say hi to Buhla for me please.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,515 Skive's The Limit
    Feeling triggered. Lot of the "peers"/patients ive been seeing hear vioces and have psychosis - i guess cause thats what they seem as "sereve" these days with under funded services. & i cant really relate to. - soi  havent felt triggered as such. But saw soemone and speaking about someone who has personality disorder. And self harming and suicidal and was kinda triggering for me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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