help?

Former Member

I need help, getting really intense urges tonight!

Former Member

Hey Katie,

How are you feeling now?

We can't really help you, just advise you. It's about trying to distract yourself from the urges. What do you enjoy? Reading, cleaning, drawing, writing?

After chat I drew to distract myself and I've been in a good mood since not long after I started drawing.

I really do recommend trying to practise the mindfulness again. It takes a while but once you start to get the hang of it there is so much you can be mindful with, and it really helps. My favourite at the moment is a mindful cup of tea, notice the warmth, notice how it feels as you're drinking it, notice what it tastes like and how it feels as you're swallowing some of the tea. Stuff like that really does help switch your mind off the bad thoughts.

Former Member

I feel sore and completely drained! I just couldn't cope with it on my own last night! and to make things worse I think my mum knows more than I thought! my heads banging!

I enjoy drawing, I use to read, but really don't have the concentration for it now wish I did. and I hate cleaning! I do it too much

Former Member

Hi katiejayne, I just wanted to say that it's really important to remember that there aren't people here all the time. The discussion boards and chat are not a substitute for urgent assistance or help.

The Samaritans - 0845 790 9090

are a good place to start

Former Member

Hi katieJayne if u dont fancy ringing the samaritans u can ring them on this number 07725 909090 hope ur okaii and u can pm me anytime :-) x

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Former Member

Okaii I meant text oops sorry xx

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Former Member

how come whatever I say I always get told you cant say that ect but other people are suicidal on her how does that work?! starting to think everyone just targets me on here

Former Member

katiejayne wrote: »

how come whatever I say I always get told you cant say that ect but other people are suicidal on her how does that work?! starting to think everyone just targets me on here

What do you mean? On the boards you can talk about whatever you want , just warn it may trigger at times. Fiend was just saying that it was quite late last night so nobody was around to answer, so you could talk to Samaritans if you want someone to answer straight away, she didn't mean you're not allowed to post what you have posted. Of course you're allowed, it's exactly what the boards are for

Hugs. We're here for you.

Former Member

doesn't feel like that

Former Member

I understand that you might feel this way, but trust me, you can post whatever you want on here and we are here to listen.

Former Member

I feel like no one even cares anymore no matter what I do or say theres always omeone that bit better someone everyone would much rather talk to

Former Member

A lot of people feel like that, but I've come to realise that's not the case at all.

Okay, look at a few months back, you never posted on the boards and you hardly came into chat, look at you now! You reach out for support, and you try to support others. You spoke to hardly anyone a few months back and now more people are getting to know you and the person you are. I'm getting to know you better. It's not been long since you started posting, not everyone will know you, but that doesn't mean people don't care.

Former Member

then why do I feel so alone?

Former Member

Kaite u feel alone coz ur struggling but really u are not alone we all care for each other here..
Butterfly is right a few months ago u wouldnt do what ur doing right now reaching out and asking for help :-)... xx

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Former Member

I posted on here, fiend posted on here, mrsm posted on here, how are you alone? You're not. People care. I know it may be hard for you to see that, but believe me.

Aurora

Hey Katie,

Sounds like you had quite a difficult night last night! Did you manage to reach out to any support, calling/texting Samaritans is a great idea, suggested by users above, have you ever tried them? Nobody on here was stating you couldn't talk Katie, just that the boards aren't always active 24/7, so it might of been quicker getting support via helpline if you were struggling that much!

Would you like to tell us a bit about what happened last night, maybe we could explore it and look in to alternative coping strategies, as we all cope differently. How has your week been going, have you done much? School/College/Uni? Do you do any volunteering, sports?

Best wishes,
Angel

Former Member

butterfly123 wrote: »

Fiend was just saying that it was quite late last night so nobody was around to answer, so you could talk to Samaritans if you want someone to answer straight away, she didn't mean you're not allowed to post what you have posted. Of course you're allowed, it's exactly what the boards are for

This is exactly what I meant. It was 2 hours before someone got back to you, it was butterfly, at half 12. I just didn't want you to be left alone next time.

Former Member

**Angel** wrote: »

Hey Katie,

Sounds like you had quite a difficult night last night! Did you manage to reach out to any support, calling/texting Samaritans is a great idea, suggested by users above, have you ever tried them? Nobody on here was stating you couldn't talk Katie, just that the boards aren't always active 24/7, so it might of been quicker getting support via helpline if you were struggling that much!

Would you like to tell us a bit about what happened last night, maybe we could explore it and look in to alternative coping strategies, as we all cope differently. How has your week been going, have you done much? School/College/Uni? Do you do any volunteering, sports?

Best wishes,
Angel

They were shouting at me telling me to do something I didn't want to do.

Its been very up and down, no I haven't been to college for about 4weeks now. And haven't been volunteering at the first schol for my placement for about 5weeks now.

Former Member

I still feel like everyone else is more important than me

Former Member

katiejayne wrote: »

I still feel like everyone else is more important than me

We've told you that's not the case, whether you listen or not is up to you. People don't have to reply on your threads, they choose to. Remember that.

Former Member

I'm really struggling to cope

Former Member

Chat is on now if you want to come and get some support?

Former Member

im sorry butterfly i just couldn't do it, I couldn't face chat. I was too scared I would do something wrong, im sorry

Former Member

edit: failed post

Former Member

Hi Katie

I'm posting from mobile so can't post a link but I wondered if you've seen the chat guidelines? If not it's worth looking them up, because then you might get some clarity, I feel like you're very uncertain about expectations, and that this makes you anxious.

With my chat mod hat on, I would say that chat isn't crisis support, but you are welcome to join and talk about how you are feeling. We do discourage specific discussion about self-harm, or alcohol, for example, but that isn't to silence you our because we don't care it's about keeping people safe. When someone recommends a device like the Samaritans or NHS 111 we are trying to refer to experts. We're awesome, and many are expert by experience, but the professionals are in a better place to hold you in these really dark, risky places.
How are you feeling right now?It's also ok to sit out chat to keel yourself safe, by the way, you don't owe anyone an apology for that.

Former Member

its not about not understanding the guidelines why I was scared I would do something wrong,its something else.

and I dunno, I don't really feel anything just empty I guess.

Former Member

katiejayne wrote: »

its not about not understanding the guidelines why I was scared I would do something wrong,its something else.

What do you think you're going to do wrong? If you tell us we could try to help you?

Former Member

I don't want to fall out again or anything. but the way I felt is how I normally feel when I lie I didn't want to do it again. I felt like someone else was all everyone was focusing on, and the longer I felt it, the more I just wanted to lie and get everyone back to caring about me. I stayed away from chat cause I didn't want to do it again, and I don't know how everyones gonna look at this, but im glad I didn't go into chat, im glad I stopped myself from doing it again. im really sorry I didn't go into chat

Former Member

You do not need to apologise to me for not going to chat, I think you made a good decision.

Really well done katie! Realising how you felt and stopping yourself from going into chat is amazing! You've come a long way and I hope you realise that. Well done for being so honest.

In chat everyone talks to everyone, it's not everyone talking to one certain person each time. We are a community, we are all here for each other, and you are part of this community just like everyone else.

Maybe sometimes you could start a general chat too? Something like 'so what has everyone been up to'? Or 'what is everyone looking forward to'? That way you could start a conversation

Former Member

so, youre not mad that I felt like that and that I wanted to lie?

Former Member

Of course I'm not mad! I'm proud katie. You made a promise and you kept it, and clearly I was right to trust you. Seriously, you should be proud of yourself too.