Best Of

I can understand your anxieties Nightmare, especially when I imagine it feels like there's so much pressure on this part of your life - on getting a job like you've wanted for so long.

I wonder: have you ever sat down with someone to look at your CV, to properly think about what jobs you want to apply for and how to write the applications, and to get a second opinion on everything? I wonder if some external validation would help.

You could even do that here if you wanted - we have plenty of folks here who either have jobs or who are looking for work too, and they might be able to workshop your CV or an application with you if you felt comfortable posting about it (obvs with any sensitive info removed!)

On top of that, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to shake this low mood.

Hmmm do you have a sense of whether the low mood is because you can't find a job, or if you're struggling to get work because of your low mood / mental health?

No worries about the long/messy post by the way - plenty of those here!

Welcome to the community @bignosegirly0! Before I respond to your post I wanted to say I added a trigger warning to the title of your post, and then one just at the top. You did kindly add an edit of your own where it says 'quick edit' - I just wanted to make it super clear.

Mostly I wanted to say that this is really fair - the stuff you've described in your post is absolutely awful, and you can't ignore the systemic inequalities that women face. It clear that you yourself have really felt the weight of that in your life and it just sucks.

It's not the same but I have some guy friends who grew up with very similar experiences to the ones you described - being asked out as a joke, people laughing, etc. That level of mockery when you're growing up is really scarring and it's truly awful stuff.

This is a depressing fact about life that not even therapy can help with. Having a therapist tell you “beauty is subjective” and “no one is really judging you” is a nice thought. But when you get in the real world and face the same treatment you always do, you realise that it’s bullshit.

I think this is an understandable reaction. It's hard when a truth is being born out infront of you every day and you have someone trying to tell you the world isn't like that.

One thing I would say is that the people around you, the friends you make, and your workplace can make a big difference to how heavily you experience these things. I'm not saying the systemic inequalities won't always be present - that's just the nature of social issues - but something I learned in my life is that as I was able to get more independence and choose how my life looked, it was easier to pick the right people to be around, and that was a game changer.

But it's also understandle, when this is your experience, to not have much optimism that there are people out there who won't treat you this way.

I understand that this may not be helpful to hear, especially if you haven't experienced much evidence that these things can change, and maybe can't see a path forward (which feels like an important component for having hope for the future).

Can I ask - how old are you and what do you do for work/study?

i am so happy you got a reason for your discomfort and pain bc ik how much this is causing you issues i hope the things the dr have given you help bc you deserve a life of happiness and pain free hugs 🫂

Gosh @eylah sending you big hugs right now Thank you so much for sharing those memories of your mum, she sounds like such a lovely soul and I can't imagine how much you must miss her. I'm sure she is proud of you as you push through such a difficult time, and I can see that same kindness in you the way you support so many others here on the boards! Remember we are always here for you to talk through those difficult celebrations coming up

I'm glad to hear it's helping @eylah even if it's just a little bit. I'm crossing all my fingers that you'll be able to get an appointment next week! It'll make all the difference rather than you having to wait until December. It's great she can see how much you need to be seen as soon as possible this sounds promising!

Yeah going private is super expensive. You're not selfish for trying to get a drs appointment because you need one too. You're in so much pain Eylah and that's not a great way to be living your life. I really hope you can be seen soon but try to be kind to yourself. You're just as deserving of an appointment as anyone else is. I really hope you're able to get one booked soon