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Best Of
Re: Fighting against Social Anxiety
@JMMV2005 thats so great!! If you feel like it, give us an update when you go, i would love to hear about it 
Re: Fighting against Social Anxiety
@JMMV2005 im proud of you and how far you’ve come❤️ i know how hard it is and im very glad for you that you are managing to challenge your anxiety!! The progresss you have made already is impressive and it sounds like you have a good plan with New Year’s resolutions (im gonna do that too it’s a good idea) im happy for you 🫶
Re: (Suicidal ideation) Seeing people who’ve hurt me doing better than me depresses the hell out of me
Hey @bignosegirly0
Thank you for adding a trigger warning in the title. I've also added a spoiler in your post as some extra trigger protection.
I think how you're feeling here is completely valid. It can feel really deflating when people who have wronged you seem to be thriving in life. Are these people you're still close with? We might not know exactly what life is like for them behind closed doors, but I can understood how seeing them be happy all the time and appear confident can really make us reflect on ourselves pretty negatively. Comparing ourselves to other people can rob us of our own happiness, and more often than not will always feel like a losing battle. I'm really sorry they hurt you, you didn't deserve that at all.
I definitely don't think you're nothing in this world. You'll have your own set of accomplishments and things that make you happy; all of which are so important and make you you. Do you feel comfortable sharing some of these with us? They can be big or small, like my accomplishment of today is just getting out of bed because I really struggled this morning. That's my win of the day.
Can I ask if you're feeling safe? I'm really glad you're here with us in our community
And I can really hear how much this ideation is impacting your life. These are a lot of big feelings to be dealing with all at once, and it sounds like you have a lot of heaviness weighing on your mind. I'm sending you hugs @bignosegirly0
I've also popped some organisations down below you might find useful when you have these feelings of ideation
Thank you for adding a trigger warning in the title. I've also added a spoiler in your post as some extra trigger protection.
I think how you're feeling here is completely valid. It can feel really deflating when people who have wronged you seem to be thriving in life. Are these people you're still close with? We might not know exactly what life is like for them behind closed doors, but I can understood how seeing them be happy all the time and appear confident can really make us reflect on ourselves pretty negatively. Comparing ourselves to other people can rob us of our own happiness, and more often than not will always feel like a losing battle. I'm really sorry they hurt you, you didn't deserve that at all.
I definitely don't think you're nothing in this world. You'll have your own set of accomplishments and things that make you happy; all of which are so important and make you you. Do you feel comfortable sharing some of these with us? They can be big or small, like my accomplishment of today is just getting out of bed because I really struggled this morning. That's my win of the day.
Can I ask if you're feeling safe? I'm really glad you're here with us in our community
And I can really hear how much this ideation is impacting your life. These are a lot of big feelings to be dealing with all at once, and it sounds like you have a lot of heaviness weighing on your mind. I'm sending you hugs @bignosegirly0I've also popped some organisations down below you might find useful when you have these feelings of ideation
Samaritans are there for you 24/7. They offer a listening service and emotional support to anyone about any issue, with a special focus on suicidal feelings. You can call the helpline for free on 116 123 or email at jo@samaritans.org. For more information go to www.samaritans.org
There's a free mobile app called distrACT, it's available on the App Store (Apple) and Google Play (Android). The app gives you easy, quick, and discreet access to information and advice about self-harm and suicidal thoughts. The content has been created by doctors and experts in self-harming and suicide prevention. You can find out more here https://www.expertselfcare.com/distract/
Papyrus have a HOPELINE247 which is a confidential support and advice service for those experiencing thoughts of suicide and is available 24/7. You can call them on 0800 068 4141, text 88247, or email pat@papyrus-uk.org. They also have a webchat. For more details, visit https://www.papyrus-uk.org/papyrus-hopeline247/
There's a free mobile app called distrACT, it's available on the App Store (Apple) and Google Play (Android). The app gives you easy, quick, and discreet access to information and advice about self-harm and suicidal thoughts. The content has been created by doctors and experts in self-harming and suicide prevention. You can find out more here https://www.expertselfcare.com/distract/
Papyrus have a HOPELINE247 which is a confidential support and advice service for those experiencing thoughts of suicide and is available 24/7. You can call them on 0800 068 4141, text 88247, or email pat@papyrus-uk.org. They also have a webchat. For more details, visit https://www.papyrus-uk.org/papyrus-hopeline247/
Katie
2
Re: Fighting against Social Anxiety
Hey @JMMV2005
This sounds so empowering that you're trying to fight back against your anxiety in public and social situations. It really does take a lot of bravery and I'm so glad you're finding it's getting easier over time. You should really give yourself credit for how much effort you are putting into this. I also find it quite admirable that you're doing this for you and nobody else. At the end of the day, this is your life, and I can really hear that passion in wanting to have a better quality life.
It sounds to me like you're doing your own version of Exposure Therapy. Can I ask what kind of support you have around your social anxiety, and if you've had therapy for it before?
Maybe you could make a list of everything you want to achieve, and you could set little time goals for yourself e.g., I want to be attending fitness classes regularly by 3 months time. I really do think you're doing so well already and thank you for bringing us along on this journey. You've got this
This sounds so empowering that you're trying to fight back against your anxiety in public and social situations. It really does take a lot of bravery and I'm so glad you're finding it's getting easier over time. You should really give yourself credit for how much effort you are putting into this. I also find it quite admirable that you're doing this for you and nobody else. At the end of the day, this is your life, and I can really hear that passion in wanting to have a better quality life.
It sounds to me like you're doing your own version of Exposure Therapy. Can I ask what kind of support you have around your social anxiety, and if you've had therapy for it before?
I hear that fear in feeling like you're going to miss out on things and your older self will regret it. But I also think what's important here is to look back at how far you've come. Think of a time when the thought of going to gym or a fitness class felt absolutely impossible. Or a time when stepping into your local coffee shop and ordering a coffee to go actually felt like the stuff of nightmares. I hear that you do still get a bit nervy when you are ordering coffee or walking down the street, but how do these nerves compare to what it used to feel like? To me it sounds like you've made a lot of progress already, and it's really affirming to hear that you know you have the right spirit and attitude. I think you do too!if I don’t do enough to conquer this fear I’m going to miss out on things and my older self will regret it, and I haven’t got forever and I already feel like I’ve missed out on things and am missing out on things this very moment, I don’t have any good friends, I’m single and always have been, and I don’t go out and do a lot, and I’m so ready to change things
Maybe you could make a list of everything you want to achieve, and you could set little time goals for yourself e.g., I want to be attending fitness classes regularly by 3 months time. I really do think you're doing so well already and thank you for bringing us along on this journey. You've got this
Katie
3
Re: I’m so fucking pathetic (mentions of self harm and suicide)
@bignosegirly0 bullies r usually hiding their vulnerability. They are cowards. Bullies want ppl to come down to their level
Re: I’m starting to think I’m the problem
@TheNightmare it’s hard when it’s a very obvious pattern
I understand, I'm always here if you need anything
Re: Why I feel the way I do
Hi @TheNightmare
Just want to say this list is really coherent and well written. I know it can take a lot of work to be clear on what it is you want and how you feel, let alone write it down.
Getting help for oneself is already hard, let alone the feelings of shame that can come about from even needing help in the first place. I hope that as time goes on you're able to feel more proud of yourself for working on your functional skills.
What are somethings you do that make you feel a sense of pride about yourself and how you show up in this world? For me this can look like cooking a successful meal, finishing a book I started, or even keeping in track with my own life admin like doctor's appointments. It's small stuff but it's a nice reminder that I'm capable of functioning as an adult .
With your goals, what's the smallest and at least most achievable within your limits at this moment? Getting overwhelmed by a bunch of different expectations is so normal and human, of course it's seeming a bit much to think about all of the goals you have and wonder if you'll ever reach them.
Also you spoke about worrying about whether or not people will see you going to therapy as a weakness. That's very valid as there's still so much stigma when it comes to mental health. However anyone who sees you as weak for wanting to help and improve yourself is not the right person and shouldn't have a say on what you do for your own good. I've felt the exact same way about getting therapy several years ago, it was embarassing for me to admit that things had gotten to a point where I could no longer do things on my own. But if I never went, I'd never had made the progress I have right now which allows me to recognize when I need help and ask for it. It's a slow journey but very much worth it. I hope you can take some comfort in these words
Just want to say this list is really coherent and well written. I know it can take a lot of work to be clear on what it is you want and how you feel, let alone write it down.
Getting help for oneself is already hard, let alone the feelings of shame that can come about from even needing help in the first place. I hope that as time goes on you're able to feel more proud of yourself for working on your functional skills.
What are somethings you do that make you feel a sense of pride about yourself and how you show up in this world? For me this can look like cooking a successful meal, finishing a book I started, or even keeping in track with my own life admin like doctor's appointments. It's small stuff but it's a nice reminder that I'm capable of functioning as an adult .
With your goals, what's the smallest and at least most achievable within your limits at this moment? Getting overwhelmed by a bunch of different expectations is so normal and human, of course it's seeming a bit much to think about all of the goals you have and wonder if you'll ever reach them.
Also you spoke about worrying about whether or not people will see you going to therapy as a weakness. That's very valid as there's still so much stigma when it comes to mental health. However anyone who sees you as weak for wanting to help and improve yourself is not the right person and shouldn't have a say on what you do for your own good. I've felt the exact same way about getting therapy several years ago, it was embarassing for me to admit that things had gotten to a point where I could no longer do things on my own. But if I never went, I'd never had made the progress I have right now which allows me to recognize when I need help and ask for it. It's a slow journey but very much worth it. I hope you can take some comfort in these words
briannat
1