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Best Of
Re: Cold-Weather Joy!
My Cold-Weather Joy this past week was standing and looking out across the sea one cold, early morning. The air was SO STILL and it felt really peaceful:
Also, my friends and I went to the cutest pottery-painting cafe
and I made this little bowl / mug. I had so much fun:
And it's something small, but I walked past this tree that had a plant growing over it, and I just thought the colours were so PRETTY!
Hope everyone's having a cosy weekend
Also, my friends and I went to the cutest pottery-painting cafe
and I made this little bowl / mug. I had so much fun:And it's something small, but I walked past this tree that had a plant growing over it, and I just thought the colours were so PRETTY!
Hope everyone's having a cosy weekend
Sian321
1
Re: This is probably going to sound very silly and stupid
Hey @Amy22 , thanks so much for posting this, and I suppose I just want to recognise too how it may have felt vulnerable to open up, as I can hear you say it might sound silly or stupid. Just as @kaii has said, none of what you've written sounds silly at all. I'm so glad that you chose to talk about this here. We want to listen
From what you've described, it sounds like you're dealing with quite a lot of shame around feeling like there's a child-self within your body, or enjoying playing games that people younger than you also enjoy. Is that right? I hear you, Amy, and that feeling of 'is there something wrong with me' can be *such* a vulnerable and skin-crawly feeling to have sometimes. I wonder what makes you feel like having this 'inner child' part of you might be 'wrong'? What do you feel would be a more 'right' way to be?
From where I'm standing, it doesn't sound like you've been doing or feeling anything wrong at all, and it feels really beautiful that you've managed to find a way to connect to your inner child and find the comfort you're needing. I know for me, for example, esspecially when I'm anxious watching movies like Paddington 2 or Moana (typically created for children!) feels so cosy and helpful.
If it would feel helpful to explore together, what it's like for you to feel like you're still mentally a child sometimes? What do you think that child-part of you needs right now?
Sending hugs, @Amy22
From what you've described, it sounds like you're dealing with quite a lot of shame around feeling like there's a child-self within your body, or enjoying playing games that people younger than you also enjoy. Is that right? I hear you, Amy, and that feeling of 'is there something wrong with me' can be *such* a vulnerable and skin-crawly feeling to have sometimes. I wonder what makes you feel like having this 'inner child' part of you might be 'wrong'? What do you feel would be a more 'right' way to be?
From where I'm standing, it doesn't sound like you've been doing or feeling anything wrong at all, and it feels really beautiful that you've managed to find a way to connect to your inner child and find the comfort you're needing. I know for me, for example, esspecially when I'm anxious watching movies like Paddington 2 or Moana (typically created for children!) feels so cosy and helpful.
If it would feel helpful to explore together, what it's like for you to feel like you're still mentally a child sometimes? What do you think that child-part of you needs right now?
Sending hugs, @Amy22
Sian321
1
Re: This is probably going to sound very silly and stupid
Hey @Amy22, thank you for sharing this with us - this doesn't sound stupid and silly at all.
I just want to say that you shouldn't feel guilty at all for playing games, especially when they bring you lots of joy. There's no shame in being a kid at heart - I think it's great to see the world from this perspective - after all we have one life to enjoy. Doing what you enjoy makes up a lot of your identity. There's a lot of people similar to you including myself, I like watching object shows on YouTube even though I find the idea of objects talking and being well written quite funny, and I still really like watching cartoons more than shows/movies involving real life people.
It looks like you've recognised that you're no longer a kid anymore, and that in life, we take more responsibilities as we grow up. I'm here to tell you that it's definitely possible to partake in hobbies and adult at the same time - adulting can be quite scary and overwhelming sometimes, which is why we may find ourselves doing things which help us escape from this feeling, like drawing or listening to music. Playing games is not something to be ashamed of - you don't have to give up doing this for the sake of adulting.
I'd say achieving a balance between responsibility and finding time to engage in what makes you happy (no matter how childish it might seem to others) is great way to live life. I feel like it's manageable to take on responsibility one step at a time - there's no rush to adult at all, opportunities for growth will come naturally to us
Sending hugs,
Kai
I just want to say that you shouldn't feel guilty at all for playing games, especially when they bring you lots of joy. There's no shame in being a kid at heart - I think it's great to see the world from this perspective - after all we have one life to enjoy. Doing what you enjoy makes up a lot of your identity. There's a lot of people similar to you including myself, I like watching object shows on YouTube even though I find the idea of objects talking and being well written quite funny, and I still really like watching cartoons more than shows/movies involving real life people.
It looks like you've recognised that you're no longer a kid anymore, and that in life, we take more responsibilities as we grow up. I'm here to tell you that it's definitely possible to partake in hobbies and adult at the same time - adulting can be quite scary and overwhelming sometimes, which is why we may find ourselves doing things which help us escape from this feeling, like drawing or listening to music. Playing games is not something to be ashamed of - you don't have to give up doing this for the sake of adulting.
I'd say achieving a balance between responsibility and finding time to engage in what makes you happy (no matter how childish it might seem to others) is great way to live life. I feel like it's manageable to take on responsibility one step at a time - there's no rush to adult at all, opportunities for growth will come naturally to us
Sending hugs,
Kai
kaii
3
Re: Is the texting helpline shout helpful? Have you had experience with them? (TW Mention sh)
anytime i’ve used shout i have had a good experience, there’s never really been a time where ive felt dismissed or anything at all!
sometimes there are long waits to get to chat to someone though but all the volunteers and supervisors are doing their best to get to answer all the chats in the queue.
chats last for around 45 minutes so you have a good amount of time to chat to someone too!
i now volunteer with shout so if you have any questions feel free to ask n i will answer if i know the answer:)
sometimes there are long waits to get to chat to someone though but all the volunteers and supervisors are doing their best to get to answer all the chats in the queue.
chats last for around 45 minutes so you have a good amount of time to chat to someone too!
i now volunteer with shout so if you have any questions feel free to ask n i will answer if i know the answer:)
Re: Is the texting helpline shout helpful? Have you had experience with them? (TW Mention sh)
Hi @Distraction
It’s really positive you’re thinking about reaching out for support. Phone calls can be daunting!
While I haven’t used Shout I used to volunteer for them a few years ago. Like you say it’s worth a shot if you’d like 1:1 support. As you said the support being over text will give you more time to respond and be able to express everything you want to. The volunteer you text with is there to listen to anything you want to share.
So for example if you wanted to talk about your Sh thoughts you’d have space to do that. The volunteer can also provide emotional support and suggest things like other coping mechanisms if that’s something you were interested in. Shout’s support is very much focused around you and what you feel comfy with. I believe that texts are free too!
You’ve done well to recognise that you want to understand your thoughts more. How would you say you are coping at the moment? Let us know how it goes if you do reach out. We’re here for you!
It’s really positive you’re thinking about reaching out for support. Phone calls can be daunting!
While I haven’t used Shout I used to volunteer for them a few years ago. Like you say it’s worth a shot if you’d like 1:1 support. As you said the support being over text will give you more time to respond and be able to express everything you want to. The volunteer you text with is there to listen to anything you want to share.
So for example if you wanted to talk about your Sh thoughts you’d have space to do that. The volunteer can also provide emotional support and suggest things like other coping mechanisms if that’s something you were interested in. Shout’s support is very much focused around you and what you feel comfy with. I believe that texts are free too!
You’ve done well to recognise that you want to understand your thoughts more. How would you say you are coping at the moment? Let us know how it goes if you do reach out. We’re here for you!
Claire28
1
Re: Low self esteem and Virginity
Hey @HensAny779 , thank you for your post, and welcome to the Boards too. I'm really glad you're here
I really appreciate you opening up about your struggles with your body image as well as being made fun of by family and friends for your appearance and virginity. Firstly, that just sounds so painful, and no one has a right to bully you in this way. I feel really sad to hear how their words have impacted how you see yourself - that's extreamly hard. And it seems like recently this has also lead you to question what's the point in staying alive.
May I ask, @HensAny779 , how have you been keeping yourself safe when these thoughts of suicide do become very loud? In those hard moments, has there been anything or anyone that's eased those feelings?
I'll list a few places below that are here for you if ever you do feel suicidal. You deserve to not have to face those feelings alone:
How would it feel to reach out to one of those places?
I heard you say too that your family sometimes tell you that you should kill yourself, which again, sounds extreamly hurtful. Would you feel comfortable telling us a bit more about your living situation at the moment, and how safe you're feeling there?
There can be so much stigma in society sometimes around being single or the concept of 'virginity', and I really recognise how heavy that can be and how it can change the ways we think and feel about ourselves. I can relate to that personally. It can create so much shame. It sounds like you're really despairing, and your feelings deserve to be taken seriously and listened to
Keep us posted, @HensAny779 and we're here for you. You're doing so well to reach out and talk about this.
I really appreciate you opening up about your struggles with your body image as well as being made fun of by family and friends for your appearance and virginity. Firstly, that just sounds so painful, and no one has a right to bully you in this way. I feel really sad to hear how their words have impacted how you see yourself - that's extreamly hard. And it seems like recently this has also lead you to question what's the point in staying alive.
May I ask, @HensAny779 , how have you been keeping yourself safe when these thoughts of suicide do become very loud? In those hard moments, has there been anything or anyone that's eased those feelings?
I'll list a few places below that are here for you if ever you do feel suicidal. You deserve to not have to face those feelings alone:
https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team/crisis-messenger
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan
https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team/crisis-messenger
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan
How would it feel to reach out to one of those places?
I heard you say too that your family sometimes tell you that you should kill yourself, which again, sounds extreamly hurtful. Would you feel comfortable telling us a bit more about your living situation at the moment, and how safe you're feeling there?
There can be so much stigma in society sometimes around being single or the concept of 'virginity', and I really recognise how heavy that can be and how it can change the ways we think and feel about ourselves. I can relate to that personally. It can create so much shame. It sounds like you're really despairing, and your feelings deserve to be taken seriously and listened to
Keep us posted, @HensAny779 and we're here for you. You're doing so well to reach out and talk about this.
Sian321
1
Re: Low self esteem and Virginity
@HensAny779 im so sorry you’ve been feeling like this, and don’t worry none of what you said sounded self centred or cringe, i completely get where you’re coming from. i would also say your family doesn’t have the right at all to tell you those things, you ARE worthy of love and you deserve it, no matter what they say. also you are not ‘too weak’ in anyway for experiencing these feelings, they are completely valid❤️
in terms of advice, im a bit younger so I wouldn’t know exactly what to say, but i do know that even if it may feel like it, virginity is nothing to be ashamed of and it’s also not as significant as people make it (as in there are other wonderful parts of life that are equally if not more important in the grand scheme of things) however i do understand how the pressure can feel and why this is making you feel upset.
also your family is completely wrong, there is someone out there who is perfect for you, don’t let them bring you down like that. i hope you’re doing okay ❤️
in terms of advice, im a bit younger so I wouldn’t know exactly what to say, but i do know that even if it may feel like it, virginity is nothing to be ashamed of and it’s also not as significant as people make it (as in there are other wonderful parts of life that are equally if not more important in the grand scheme of things) however i do understand how the pressure can feel and why this is making you feel upset.
also your family is completely wrong, there is someone out there who is perfect for you, don’t let them bring you down like that. i hope you’re doing okay ❤️
Re: im trying to keep going 😕
Hey @eylah , I've just read your message. What you went through last night sounds horrific, and no one has a right to ever treat you that way. That sounds extreamly distressing for you.
Can I check, do you feel safe this evening? What kind of support have you received since this happened?
The following places are here for you if you'd wanting support:
Keep us posted, @eylah . We're thinking of you and all you're coping with right now.
Can I check, do you feel safe this evening? What kind of support have you received since this happened?
The following places are here for you if you'd wanting support:
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
https://www.childline.org.uk/
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/
https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team/crisis-messenger
https://www.childline.org.uk/
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/
https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team/crisis-messenger
Keep us posted, @eylah . We're thinking of you and all you're coping with right now.
Sian321
1
Re: Struggling alone
@TheNightmare None of us are meant to be an island, and talking to us is a good way to process difficult times. Ideally all of us would love to say we have 100s of friends we can talk to, but I myself find that only few can be trusted with vulnerabilities. To be honest, I think we all struggle: every person on the planet, otherwise, they'd be living a life with zero challenges- and I just don't think that's real life.
I'm really sorry you feel alone. Loneliness is painful, and struggling alone can feel overwhelming. If there is one person who can be a trusted friend, it can make a difference. If you haven't got that person now, it doesn't mean it will always be that way. True friends are out there- though sometimes it takes time and caution to find them.
It's really tough to feel like you're facing everything alone, and it's completely valid to feel the way you do. Sometimes, being without someone to talk to can make us feel isolated, but please remember that you are not alone in your experiences, even if it feels that way right now. There are so many of us who have struggled with similar feelings.
Keep talking to us) That's one way to do it, and you'll find many people manage it the same way. Then maybe later on there will be someone offline you feel you want to talk to too. Regardless, we're here for you
I'm really sorry you feel alone. Loneliness is painful, and struggling alone can feel overwhelming. If there is one person who can be a trusted friend, it can make a difference. If you haven't got that person now, it doesn't mean it will always be that way. True friends are out there- though sometimes it takes time and caution to find them.
It's really tough to feel like you're facing everything alone, and it's completely valid to feel the way you do. Sometimes, being without someone to talk to can make us feel isolated, but please remember that you are not alone in your experiences, even if it feels that way right now. There are so many of us who have struggled with similar feelings.
Keep talking to us
) That's one way to do it, and you'll find many people manage it the same way. Then maybe later on there will be someone offline you feel you want to talk to too. Regardless, we're here for you 
Re: Struggling alone
@TheNightmare im so sorry you’ve been feeling this and i promise all your feelings are valid. i know it can be very hard to open up sometimes and that’s why it’s so good that you managed to write this and let us know how you’ve been feeling. i can definitely relate to the feeling of being ‘too’ sensitive and feeling dismissed but know that it’s not your fault and it’s not a bad thing at all and people shouldn’t make you feel like it is. i am here for you❤️