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Best Of
Re: Barrier of getting support
@TheNightmare Hey there,
All of what you mentioned here makes a lot of sense to me. It's a lot to ask for help and go through the steps of receiving it. Any professional you speak with, especially a counsellor will be aware of the vulnerability that comes with asking for help and do their best to help you feel comfortable during that journey. You mentioned wanting free options, here are some that you could look into.
Remember there is no rush to this, you can take your time and see what works for you. Breathe and know that you have The community team here rooting for you!
All of what you mentioned here makes a lot of sense to me. It's a lot to ask for help and go through the steps of receiving it. Any professional you speak with, especially a counsellor will be aware of the vulnerability that comes with asking for help and do their best to help you feel comfortable during that journey. You mentioned wanting free options, here are some that you could look into.
Remember there is no rush to this, you can take your time and see what works for you. Breathe and know that you have The community team here rooting for you!
briannat
1
Re: Barrier of getting support
@TheNightmare If you feel like something could potentially help then do it, even if your not sure if it’s going to do anything, and if it doesn’t work try something else, The way I see it it’s better to try things even if your not sure they’ll help rather than not do anything and let problems get worse
The thing about therapy is it won’t solve everything but it will give you some skills and confidence to help you progress in making things better, I think the problem is when some people go to therapy and it doesn’t solve all their problems they think it’s useless and start telling others it’s useless, which is harmful to themselves and others
Therapy will be the first step in the right direction for you so don’t think about it to much and try it and see where it leads you, it’ll probably lead you to step two, then that’ll lead you to step three, and step by step things will start to get better, and remember worst case scenario therapy doesn’t work out, just take pride in yourself you had the confidence to take the first step and look for other things that could potentially help and don’t be afraid to try them
You can do it I promise
@JMMV2005 Thanks for replying —it’s really encouraging. I like how you framed therapy as a journey with steps forward rather than an instant fix. It makes it feel less overwhelming, and your belief in me means a lot. Thanks again.
Re: Barrier of getting support
@TheNightmare If you feel like something could potentially help then do it, even if your not sure if it’s going to do anything, and if it doesn’t work try something else, The way I see it it’s better to try things even if your not sure they’ll help rather than not do anything and let problems get worse
The thing about therapy is it won’t solve everything but it will give you some skills and confidence to help you progress in making things better, I think the problem is when some people go to therapy and it doesn’t solve all their problems they think it’s useless and start telling others it’s useless, which is harmful to themselves and others
Therapy will be the first step in the right direction for you so don’t think about it to much and try it and see where it leads you, it’ll probably lead you to step two, then that’ll lead you to step three, and step by step things will start to get better, and remember worst case scenario therapy doesn’t work out, just take pride in yourself you had the confidence to take the first step and look for other things that could potentially help and don’t be afraid to try them
You can do it I promise
The thing about therapy is it won’t solve everything but it will give you some skills and confidence to help you progress in making things better, I think the problem is when some people go to therapy and it doesn’t solve all their problems they think it’s useless and start telling others it’s useless, which is harmful to themselves and others
Therapy will be the first step in the right direction for you so don’t think about it to much and try it and see where it leads you, it’ll probably lead you to step two, then that’ll lead you to step three, and step by step things will start to get better, and remember worst case scenario therapy doesn’t work out, just take pride in yourself you had the confidence to take the first step and look for other things that could potentially help and don’t be afraid to try them
You can do it I promise
JMMV2005
1
Re: Dream about meeting a girl
@TheNightmare No problem!
Also if you pursue your hobbies and stuff like that you’ll eventually meet someone because things like hobbies lead to friendships and relationships
Good idea dude
Re: I feel impatient to make friends
Hey @JMMV2005 , thanks so much for your post on this.
It sounds really frustrating to be in this waiting period right now before the social skills group starts, and I can hear how difficult it is to feel stuck or stagnant
Thank you for opening up about your deep fear that things won't work out. That sounds frightening, and at the same time, really valid. Making friends can feel like such a vulnerable process sometimes! - beginning to let someone new get to know us, putting ourselves out there. I wonder where that fear comes from for you? What do you imagine might go 'wrong'? If it would feel helpful to talk more about that fear we'd love to listen.
For me personally, one piece of advice that has really helped me a lot when it comes to making friends is to try to 'focus more on being interested, rather than trying to be interesting'. I moved around schools a lot as a child so often had the experience of being the 'newbie' with no friends, and I found that rather than worrying about trying to be 'cool' or 'likeable', one of the best ways to make connections with other people was simply to be curious about them - to ask questions like, 'How's your day going?' or, 'Hey, what's your favourite subject at school?'. Even smiling at someone can be a great way to show them you're open to making a connection.
And another thing that really helped me make friends was to dare to be vulnerable. Whether that meant telling someone I was lost and didn't know how to get to the classroom, or saying, 'Hey, my name's Sian. It's my first day of school and I'm so nervous! Are you nervous too?' Being open and vulnerable with people helped to give them the chance to get to know me, and that ultimately brought us closer
How does that sound?
I also just want to celebrate the fact that you're here on Community, making connections, sharing yourself in a really honest way, and allowing us to get to know you! Those are already such brilliant social skills and I totally agree with @Azziman that you're already making such a great start. I have every faith that you're going to create some really exciting friendships, and those people are going to be really lucky to know you
You've got this @JMMV2005 . We believe in you!
It sounds really frustrating to be in this waiting period right now before the social skills group starts, and I can hear how difficult it is to feel stuck or stagnant
Thank you for opening up about your deep fear that things won't work out. That sounds frightening, and at the same time, really valid. Making friends can feel like such a vulnerable process sometimes! - beginning to let someone new get to know us, putting ourselves out there. I wonder where that fear comes from for you? What do you imagine might go 'wrong'? If it would feel helpful to talk more about that fear we'd love to listen.
For me personally, one piece of advice that has really helped me a lot when it comes to making friends is to try to 'focus more on being interested, rather than trying to be interesting'. I moved around schools a lot as a child so often had the experience of being the 'newbie' with no friends, and I found that rather than worrying about trying to be 'cool' or 'likeable', one of the best ways to make connections with other people was simply to be curious about them - to ask questions like, 'How's your day going?' or, 'Hey, what's your favourite subject at school?'. Even smiling at someone can be a great way to show them you're open to making a connection.
And another thing that really helped me make friends was to dare to be vulnerable. Whether that meant telling someone I was lost and didn't know how to get to the classroom, or saying, 'Hey, my name's Sian. It's my first day of school and I'm so nervous! Are you nervous too?' Being open and vulnerable with people helped to give them the chance to get to know me, and that ultimately brought us closer
How does that sound?I also just want to celebrate the fact that you're here on Community, making connections, sharing yourself in a really honest way, and allowing us to get to know you! Those are already such brilliant social skills
and I totally agree with @Azziman that you're already making such a great start. I have every faith that you're going to create some really exciting friendships, and those people are going to be really lucky to know you You've got this @JMMV2005 . We believe in you!
Sian321
2
Re: Uncertainty getting into work
@TheNightmare, You're welcome. We're here for you. Yes, definitely see it that way- a season, albeit a hard one, but it can help to remember this saying when times get tough: "This too shall pass."
There are a few free blogging platforms that might be worth exploring to see which feels right for you: WordPress.com (great for customising your blog), Medium (I've heard it's easy to set up and good for writing), Blogger (I've also have heard it is simple and pretty straightforward to set up) and Substack (great if you'd like to write newsletters and reach an audience by email- my friend uses this one for his modelling blog and he finds it really fulfilling!)
I hope one of these feels like a good fit and gives you a creative outlet to enjoy your interests during this tricky time. Hopefully, it'll bring a little extra joy to your days
There are a few free blogging platforms that might be worth exploring to see which feels right for you: WordPress.com (great for customising your blog), Medium (I've heard it's easy to set up and good for writing), Blogger (I've also have heard it is simple and pretty straightforward to set up) and Substack (great if you'd like to write newsletters and reach an audience by email- my friend uses this one for his modelling blog and he finds it really fulfilling!)
I hope one of these feels like a good fit and gives you a creative outlet to enjoy your interests during this tricky time. Hopefully, it'll bring a little extra joy to your days
Re: One thing after another
@TheNightmare, of course that's okay Volunteering isn't for everyone, and it's important to focus on what works best for you.
Keep putting those job applications out there. I know this process feels terrible, but you'll get there!
Volunteering isn't for everyone, and it's important to focus on what works best for you.Keep putting those job applications out there. I know this process feels terrible, but you'll get there!
Re: I feel impatient to make friends
Hey @JMMV2005, we hear you. It sounds like you're feeling frustrated by having to wait for this taster day to start improving your social skills, and while a week doesn't sound too bad, having to wait for that time is definitely easier said than done when you're keen to get going!
I think you're right - being a little patient for this session is a good idea for now. Focusing on other things, a week will fly by! There are some online resources that are helpful on conversation, such as introducing yourself and how to open a conversation, if you're keen on reading ahead.
Let's first start by acknowledging that signing up to the taster session is a big step in the right direction, so you're definitely not being stagnant on your journey - the first step is often the hardest hurdle, well done for overcoming it! You're right, there are likely to be others on the course, and you'll all be there together because you want to improve social skills. In that way, there's already something that you have in common, and working and learning with others is a great way to get to know people and make friends!
I can hear how you're not sure on what comes next after this taster, and that's natural - you won't be the only one in that room who feels that way for sure. We don't often plan who we end up being friends with, after all! So enjoy the learning experience, get to know the people you're on the course with, practice the skills you pick up in other parts of life, and see where it takes you
I think you're right - being a little patient for this session is a good idea for now. Focusing on other things, a week will fly by! There are some online resources that are helpful on conversation, such as introducing yourself and how to open a conversation, if you're keen on reading ahead.
Let's first start by acknowledging that signing up to the taster session is a big step in the right direction, so you're definitely not being stagnant on your journey - the first step is often the hardest hurdle, well done for overcoming it! You're right, there are likely to be others on the course, and you'll all be there together because you want to improve social skills. In that way, there's already something that you have in common, and working and learning with others is a great way to get to know people and make friends!
I can hear how you're not sure on what comes next after this taster, and that's natural - you won't be the only one in that room who feels that way for sure. We don't often plan who we end up being friends with, after all! So enjoy the learning experience, get to know the people you're on the course with, practice the skills you pick up in other parts of life, and see where it takes you
Azziman
2
Re: 19M looking for friends
I love the pet pics guys!
Shadow decided that he was going to try and eat some of my pancake yesterday very eventful lol
Shadow decided that he was going to try and eat some of my pancake yesterday very eventful lol
