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Hey @The Nightmare, conversations with conflicting opinions can be so awkward. That tension is palpable, but awkward moments are just a part of life-they don’t mean you’re doing badly.
The work coach’s questions were quite direct, and I can see why they made you uncomfortable. It sounds like she was projecting her perspective of laptops being useful for work and not understanding why it might not suit you. But if you’ve weighed up your uncle’s opinion and still don’t want it, that’s okay-it doesn’t make you wrong to decline.
I think your response about needing time to think was very reasonable. Starting a new job the next day is a big change, and wanting to process that is completely human. Maybe you could reframe it as, “I did the best I could in that moment with what I knew, but next time I’d like to…” If not accepting the job felt like a step back, you can look at it as one step back but two steps forward-now you’re better prepared for similar situations.
It’s tough to hear frustration directed at you, especially when you’re already trying. It sounds like her frustration is more about the situation than you personally. It’s easy to internalize that negativity, but it’s not a reflection of your progress. The fact that they reached out with an opportunity shows you are moving forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
Rather than dwelling on whether your decision was right, perhaps a helpful step could be to focus on preparing for similar scenarios in the future. That way, this experience can become a stepping stone rather than a roadblock.
You’ve got this-keep going! One step back, two steps forward

Hi, exactly how I feel to be honest at the moment struggling but unable to say to true extent abs it feels pointless because nothing helps and services want crisis or just discharge before you feel ready. Sane, my GP is good but it feels everywhere tgry trod it's get returned back. In times like this, I use my GP as an avenue for support, evrn if it's just too say how I'm feeling can you do the same?

Having confidentiality broken is hard to deal with and can put a sense of mis trust in future help. Perhaps get clarification from thrm on confidentiality and their level of concern. Generally, confidentiality is breached when they feel you have no protective factors to kerp you safe- do you have any safety factors, plan that can help?

JMMV2005 wrote: »

@TheNightmare Sorry about this

First of all please don’t overthink, It’ll wear you down and trust me theres no need to because it’s ok to make mistakes or do something wrong, I used to overthink tons but I realised I was basically poisoning myself with my own thoughts and I’ve been working to try and cut it down, I know thats easier said than done but the first step is be kinder to yourself and don’t beat yourself up, you don’t deserve it

Also about taking opportunities, don’t overthink how you didn’t take past opportunities but focus on future opportunities, and if your scared or unsure about taking a job in the future please just take it, theres a 90% chance it’s not gonna be as scary as you think, and if it isn’t nice you don’t have to stay

I’ve been trying things that I’m scared of or unsure of lately and it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done, I feel more positive and I can see progress being made in my life even if it is in small steps, the “don’t think just do” mindset can be so helpful

So don’t beat yourself up with overthinking and when you get an opportunity for something but your not sure if you should take it, just try it and see where it leads you, worst case scenario you don’t have stick with it, and like I said I’d say about 90% of the time when you try something your unsure of it pays off

Good luck I believe in you

@JMMV2005 Thanks so much for your kind words and advice. It means a lot to me. I really appreciate you sharing your experience, and I’ll try to focus on being kinder to myself and not overthinking so much. I’ll definitely keep your advice in mind and try to be more open to opportunities. Thanks again for believing in me

@eylah reading all your little updates on here makes me so happy - i read every single one of them and smileeeee

i’m so so proud of you you’re doing amazing🩷

Hey @bignosegirly0 , thanks so much for sharing this. Mhm, I feel frustrated on your behalf hearing this! That sounds really dissapointing, to be physically ignored in a situation where you're trying to convey your point!

How did this leave you feeling?

It feels really positive that you were aiming to open up about how you feel and to share your point of view. You deserve to be listened to. How do you feel more generally about your colleagues and your place of work?

Sending hugs,

Hey @eylah , thank you for this message.

Firstly, that sounds really worrying about your friend, and I suppose I'm just thinking of how you've had to cope with similiar worries in the past and how this might bring up those past memories. Worrying about someone you care about that way can feel sickening, and I can imagine it's just a lot on top of the ways you're trying to survive yourself too.

Can I ask if your friend feels able to reach out to any services for support? I can put some below if helpful:

And secondly, thank you for sharing some more about where you're feeling unliked and uncared for. Thats a painful thought, @eylah , and I really appreciate your honesty in sharing that sometimes that's a reality for you here too on Community, feeling as though you're useless and taking up space. It feels important that you can be honest about what it feels like to be a member here.

I know this doesn't take away from how you're feeling at all, but I wanted to share that as a relatively new Community mod, I'm really moved by just how authentically you show up in this space, speaking out from an honest place about what you're going through. The fact that you make posts about what's on your mind is, from my perspective, seriously comendable, and I think that when we are vulnerable, that can often be permission-granting for other people too, encouraging others to open up and take up space as each of you deserve. You're absolutely vital here on Community, Eylah, and a huge part of setting the tone of this space becoming an ever-more honest and real space. So thank you. Thank you for taking up space. Thank you for posting. Thank you for letting us in. It's genuinely such an honour that you choose to share, and we care. I assure you

That being said, I don't mean to say that in order to 'change' how you feel because your experience is valid, and I appreciate that for you, this space can feel isolating sometimes too. Again, thank you for being so real about that, and I hope we can keep a conversation going about this

With care,
Sian

@TheNightmare Sorry about this

First of all please don’t overthink, It’ll wear you down and trust me theres no need to because it’s ok to make mistakes or do something wrong, I used to overthink tons but I realised I was basically poisoning myself with my own thoughts and I’ve been working to try and cut it down, I know thats easier said than done but the first step is be kinder to yourself and don’t beat yourself up, you don’t deserve it

Also about taking opportunities, don’t overthink how you didn’t take past opportunities but focus on future opportunities, and if your scared or unsure about taking a job in the future please just take it, theres a 90% chance it’s not gonna be as scary as you think, and if it isn’t nice you don’t have to stay

I’ve been trying things that I’m scared of or unsure of lately and it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done, I feel more positive and I can see progress being made in my life even if it is in small steps, the “don’t think just do” mindset can be so helpful

So don’t beat yourself up with overthinking and when you get an opportunity for something but your not sure if you should take it, just try it and see where it leads you, worst case scenario you don’t have stick with it, and like I said I’d say about 90% of the time when you try something your unsure of it pays off

Good luck I believe in you

Hey @eylah , I'm just catching up on these messages It feels awful that you're having to battle through so much of this on your own right now, and I can imagine esspecially with your birthday coming up next week it's overwhelming to reflect on your life right now and how alone you're feeling.

And I can hear how much you miss your mum in the middle of all this too. That's a whole extra layer - coping with grieving and missing her everyday. It's been world-altering what you've been through, and it sounds devestating to feel yourself breaking into pieces. I know it doesn't even begin to take the pain away, but I'm sending you the biggest hug. You matter, Eylah. I'm so sorry you're having to fight everyday right now. You deserve so much more than this.

You mentioned that no one likes you, and I wondered whether you were referring to anyone / any group of people particularly here that have made you feel this way esspecially recently, or perhaps this is a general feeling?