If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Want to share your experience of using our Community?
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
Best Of
Getting on with it
Does anyone else feel like this?
Where you were in a long term relationship that went on for years but nothing happened, you didn't move in together, get married, have kids etc but you planned and we're ready for all that and just when the opportunity presented itself they took it away and break up with you. So then u get into a new relationship and it is going really well that you think yeah I see myself spending the rest of my life with them and your ready to do all those things but it's a new relationship, there not ready, the timing not right or whatever but your still in that ready to take the next step mind set and you don't want to wait you want to get on with your life but have to be patient and then you start to feel really lonely at that it will never happen and in the end all you want from life really is to not be lonely and so you give up on that entire concept of marriage and kids and will just happily settle for moving in with the person you love but you can't cause its a new relationship and there not ready and it is hard to be patient and you feel stuck and lost and not sure what to do or how long to wait to see if it will ever happen.
If that makes sense?
Where you were in a long term relationship that went on for years but nothing happened, you didn't move in together, get married, have kids etc but you planned and we're ready for all that and just when the opportunity presented itself they took it away and break up with you. So then u get into a new relationship and it is going really well that you think yeah I see myself spending the rest of my life with them and your ready to do all those things but it's a new relationship, there not ready, the timing not right or whatever but your still in that ready to take the next step mind set and you don't want to wait you want to get on with your life but have to be patient and then you start to feel really lonely at that it will never happen and in the end all you want from life really is to not be lonely and so you give up on that entire concept of marriage and kids and will just happily settle for moving in with the person you love but you can't cause its a new relationship and there not ready and it is hard to be patient and you feel stuck and lost and not sure what to do or how long to wait to see if it will ever happen.
If that makes sense?
Re: What do you think about straight actors playing gay roles?
I think its okay as long as the gay community are portrayed in a goodlight. And also, when gay characters fit the stereyotypes, that shoukdnt be allowed
Re: What do you think about straight actors playing gay roles?
Thanks for sharing your views everyone! I think we have all agreed that it depends on how they are perceived and treated 
Re: What do you think about straight actors playing gay roles?
I think this is a non issue.
As longs as gay actors are not being discriminated against, I really can't see a problem. It's called acting ffs.
As longs as gay actors are not being discriminated against, I really can't see a problem. It's called acting ffs.
Skive
4
Re: What do you think about straight actors playing gay roles?
@AislingDM - I think it's great! I think we need all forms of diversity in as many places as possible
Re: What to expect from sex
I'm gonna bring in a kind of different angle than the previous (awesome) comments.
I first had sex when I was 17 and I was in America at the time. All my teammates were talking about sex so when I became friends with one boy I knew, and he kept coming over to my house we ended up doing it on my last night there.
It was absolutely a mistake. I was not ready emotionally for this and it was the wrong person. I thought that be ause everyone else seemed to be doing it, that I should've been doing it too.
We didn't even do it in a fun place, was a f*cking children's play park (like wtf were we thinking??).
I really did like this boy but I knew I was never gonna see him again and he was prepared to make a long distance relationship and I wasn't.
I messed it up big time tbh and I'd just say make sure you do it with someone you're happy to commit to and can see yourself with for a long time.
Although at the same time it's okay to do things for a fling. I don't regret it as such but just wish the circumstances were better.
I think my point is, just because others your age seem to be doing it, doesn't mean you have to be doing it.
We had a lot of couples on my team and none of them are still together because of the distance and it just not working out so I really think it's okay to take your time and explore what's right for you.
Another thing that I don't think has been mentioned but masturbation is a great way for you to explore what you like, what feels good for you and how your body works, as others have said sex is a very unique thing to you. Masturbation is a very taboo subject but in all seriousness nearly everyone who is sexually active or has been sexually active will have masturbated - me included. Honestly don't feel ashamed, because if you can't be comfortable with yourself, then how can you share yourself with others?
Another key thing to sex is that it shouldn't be painful. It's okay to have it here and there, especially the first few times, but excessive pain to the point of being unable to continue is absolutely something to get checked out. Sex shouldn't be painful, even if it is or isn't pleasurable for the individual, it just shouldn't be painful.
Just take your time and enjoy yourself. If you're relaxed and comfortable with the person then you're more likely to have a good experience!
I first had sex when I was 17 and I was in America at the time. All my teammates were talking about sex so when I became friends with one boy I knew, and he kept coming over to my house we ended up doing it on my last night there.
It was absolutely a mistake. I was not ready emotionally for this and it was the wrong person. I thought that be ause everyone else seemed to be doing it, that I should've been doing it too.
We didn't even do it in a fun place, was a f*cking children's play park (like wtf were we thinking??).
I really did like this boy but I knew I was never gonna see him again and he was prepared to make a long distance relationship and I wasn't.
I messed it up big time tbh and I'd just say make sure you do it with someone you're happy to commit to and can see yourself with for a long time.
Although at the same time it's okay to do things for a fling. I don't regret it as such but just wish the circumstances were better.
I think my point is, just because others your age seem to be doing it, doesn't mean you have to be doing it.
We had a lot of couples on my team and none of them are still together because of the distance and it just not working out so I really think it's okay to take your time and explore what's right for you.
Another thing that I don't think has been mentioned but masturbation is a great way for you to explore what you like, what feels good for you and how your body works, as others have said sex is a very unique thing to you. Masturbation is a very taboo subject but in all seriousness nearly everyone who is sexually active or has been sexually active will have masturbated - me included. Honestly don't feel ashamed, because if you can't be comfortable with yourself, then how can you share yourself with others?
Another key thing to sex is that it shouldn't be painful. It's okay to have it here and there, especially the first few times, but excessive pain to the point of being unable to continue is absolutely something to get checked out. Sex shouldn't be painful, even if it is or isn't pleasurable for the individual, it just shouldn't be painful.
Just take your time and enjoy yourself. If you're relaxed and comfortable with the person then you're more likely to have a good experience!
Re: I want to learn things but I don't want to use things
Hi @Kate_20
Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I am really proud of you for managing to identify the aspects of the transition that are particularly worrying you.
Transitions are difficult no matter what they are, when they are, or who you are. Finding transitions difficult does not define you or reflect your abilities.
I think for you the most important thing will be finding a job which also meets your interests! This is true for me too and it is the same reason I am hoping for a job similar to what I am already doing maybe with just a few extra responsibilities.
The other thing you need to bear in mind no matter the job is work-life balance. You will need to find a job that gives you the hours you need for yourself. Whether this is part-time, shift-based, or only during the week.
Working isn't quite the same as studying, you aren't expected to work the same number of hours and are encouraged to take regular breaks. You can also choose your role. Are your interests covered by CPD? This may also present you with another route to pursue your interests whilst working.
I hope this helps! I believe everyone's interests and strengths are super valuable as when combined we have greater outcomes
Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I am really proud of you for managing to identify the aspects of the transition that are particularly worrying you.
Transitions are difficult no matter what they are, when they are, or who you are. Finding transitions difficult does not define you or reflect your abilities.
I think for you the most important thing will be finding a job which also meets your interests! This is true for me too and it is the same reason I am hoping for a job similar to what I am already doing maybe with just a few extra responsibilities.
The other thing you need to bear in mind no matter the job is work-life balance. You will need to find a job that gives you the hours you need for yourself. Whether this is part-time, shift-based, or only during the week.
Working isn't quite the same as studying, you aren't expected to work the same number of hours and are encouraged to take regular breaks. You can also choose your role. Are your interests covered by CPD? This may also present you with another route to pursue your interests whilst working.
I hope this helps! I believe everyone's interests and strengths are super valuable as when combined we have greater outcomes
disability social care
hi,
I wanted to create a thread that was about social care the disability teams. Either in Children's or Adults.
I have been through both system.
Ge
I wanted to create a thread that was about social care the disability teams. Either in Children's or Adults.
I have been through both system.
Ge
Re: I don't know...
Hey @Millicento_ Of course, we're always here for you, don't worry about venting, I'm just really proud of you and want to thank you for opening up to us, I know it can be hard.
You're being super courageous, even thinking about it is amazing!! I understand and hear you about the deadline situation. I think it's more helpful to try and have a flexible approach to these things, I know that's really hard with it being winter, so we have less time to go out in the day, but honestly, you should be so proud of yourself, you're doing incredible. This is out of your comfort zone and yet you're still trying, and that's amazing! I would just suggest to try (and I know this is easier said than done) to put less pressure on yourself and around walking, even taking small steps to becoming more comfortable with it i.e. putting your shoes on and then taking them off again, or putting your coat on and taking that off, or going outside for 5 seconds etc, until it becomes easier, these small steps are just as important as the big ones!
I think unfortunately they're on a break right now, but they'll be back from the 17th of January, so please do join them if you feel that's something that will benefit you, we'd all love to have you there, even if you can't talk for a while!!
I understand completely, so is it like an urge to almost punch something to get the emotions out? It's perfectly okay that a film doesn't do it for you, we're all different, and that's okay. Going for a run is a really good way to get rid of that excess anger and frustration. Does singing help at all? If you put some music on that makes you feel powerful or that you really love and sing your heart out to them, it make also help if running isn't an option, of course, everyone is different, so please don't feel disheartened if this doesn't work for you, there's always other ones i.e. punching an exercise ball, doing a dance workout on youtube to songs you love, yoga (specifically the child pose or hare pose) . I hope some of these help you, particularly if running is just not something you're able to do one day.
Sending you lots of love, you're doing amazing!
You're being super courageous, even thinking about it is amazing!! I understand and hear you about the deadline situation. I think it's more helpful to try and have a flexible approach to these things, I know that's really hard with it being winter, so we have less time to go out in the day, but honestly, you should be so proud of yourself, you're doing incredible. This is out of your comfort zone and yet you're still trying, and that's amazing! I would just suggest to try (and I know this is easier said than done) to put less pressure on yourself and around walking, even taking small steps to becoming more comfortable with it i.e. putting your shoes on and then taking them off again, or putting your coat on and taking that off, or going outside for 5 seconds etc, until it becomes easier, these small steps are just as important as the big ones!
I think unfortunately they're on a break right now, but they'll be back from the 17th of January, so please do join them if you feel that's something that will benefit you, we'd all love to have you there, even if you can't talk for a while!!
I understand completely, so is it like an urge to almost punch something to get the emotions out? It's perfectly okay that a film doesn't do it for you, we're all different, and that's okay. Going for a run is a really good way to get rid of that excess anger and frustration. Does singing help at all? If you put some music on that makes you feel powerful or that you really love and sing your heart out to them, it make also help if running isn't an option, of course, everyone is different, so please don't feel disheartened if this doesn't work for you, there's always other ones i.e. punching an exercise ball, doing a dance workout on youtube to songs you love, yoga (specifically the child pose or hare pose) . I hope some of these help you, particularly if running is just not something you're able to do one day.
Sending you lots of love, you're doing amazing!
Re: Hi everyone!!
@Anch0r33 I recently discovered Wolf Dorn and fell immediately in love with the writing style, The Psychiatrist is my favourite book by far