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Best Of
Re: Eurovision Song Contest 2024
I've got into it the past couple of years. I really am not fussed on the winning song, I preferred the Italian song, the Luxembourg song or (unpopularly it seems) Austria - WE WILL RAVE!
Re: Happy Mental Health Awareness Week! 💛 #MHAW
For once This is a theme I really don’t agree with. Physical movement isn’t something everyone can do and for it to be a theme of an awareness week I just think isn’t right.
For example when someone’s in crisis one of the favourite things they like to say is “Go for a walk”. For someone who’s in a flare of deep depression or chronic pain movement may not be an option for them.
For wheelchair users … the world isn’t exactly accessible for them to be getting out and moving. They might not have access to a blue badge or suitable housing to be able to get out etc.
I dunno if it’s me just being pedantic but this years theme just feels like it’s potentially bordering on ableism.
For example when someone’s in crisis one of the favourite things they like to say is “Go for a walk”. For someone who’s in a flare of deep depression or chronic pain movement may not be an option for them.
For wheelchair users … the world isn’t exactly accessible for them to be getting out and moving. They might not have access to a blue badge or suitable housing to be able to get out etc.
I dunno if it’s me just being pedantic but this years theme just feels like it’s potentially bordering on ableism.
Re: What scenes from movies or TV are meaningful to you? (and why?)
This scene is so wholesome and interesting too. I don't know what in particular in my fav movie or tv show stands out to me the most. But I will say the scene in Breakfast Club where Allison talks about growing up hits the most because when she states 'when you grow up, your heart breaks' in some for most adults we kind of lose our child like wonder.
Amy22
2
Re: Lack of emotional permanence.
i struggled with the exact same thing . luckily, you being aware of how you get in relationships means that you are one step closer to moving past it . it sounds like the grounding method your boyfriend recommended to you is a very good start !
lack of emotional permanence can be caused by a lot of things, but what youre explaining looks to be mainly a defence mechanism, i think . youre right in saying that your past relationship caused you to put your guard up . we use our own experiences as a reference, and our brains turn our memories into a narrative that is far less nuanced than it really was . you though your doubts were silly, you were proved wrong . ergo, you should listen to your doubts . it is verrrry very easy to fall into that trap !
i think another thing i would use as a grounding method is remembering that you are not an extension of your partner . you are not a TV couple trope and you do not need to behave like one ! real relationships can never live up to what we see in media, or the western view of a true-love to solve all your problems, or again, the simple step-by-step narrative the brain creates from what was really a detailed event .
another thing, is that a lot of us (myself included) chase validation from others because we cannot see ourselves in a good light . but the truth of it is, you are the only person guaranteed to be constant throughout your entire life ! this was a very scary thing for me to confront, like a leap of faith, but learning self-assurance and how to care for yourself certainly is worth the fear .
you and your boyfriend are both your own people, not halves of each other . i hope you will be able to trust that he loves you for the person that you are, not just for the fact that you love him ! people betraying that trust is never a sign of you falling short of anything, nor is it a sign that that you should be cautious .
take care !
lack of emotional permanence can be caused by a lot of things, but what youre explaining looks to be mainly a defence mechanism, i think . youre right in saying that your past relationship caused you to put your guard up . we use our own experiences as a reference, and our brains turn our memories into a narrative that is far less nuanced than it really was . you though your doubts were silly, you were proved wrong . ergo, you should listen to your doubts . it is verrrry very easy to fall into that trap !
i think another thing i would use as a grounding method is remembering that you are not an extension of your partner . you are not a TV couple trope and you do not need to behave like one ! real relationships can never live up to what we see in media, or the western view of a true-love to solve all your problems, or again, the simple step-by-step narrative the brain creates from what was really a detailed event .
another thing, is that a lot of us (myself included) chase validation from others because we cannot see ourselves in a good light . but the truth of it is, you are the only person guaranteed to be constant throughout your entire life ! this was a very scary thing for me to confront, like a leap of faith, but learning self-assurance and how to care for yourself certainly is worth the fear .
you and your boyfriend are both your own people, not halves of each other . i hope you will be able to trust that he loves you for the person that you are, not just for the fact that you love him ! people betraying that trust is never a sign of you falling short of anything, nor is it a sign that that you should be cautious .
take care !
Re: Do you see vaping as a problem? Why/why not?
i think the only issue is how common it is among kids as young as 12 . as soon as my siblings joined high school, a large chunk of their peers began buying vapes from older kids . it is like watching a group of babies drinking beer and playing poker to me . at least it is once removed from them smoking cigarettes
full grown adults on the other hand can make their own decisions, i do not care about that . but the way it is marketed, i dont know.... a little insidious . it shouldnt be advertised as anything other than a tool to help someone quit smoking . but then, all marketing is the devil . rule of thumb, block your ears and scream really loud when you are shown any commercials, and dont sell babies nicotine for breakfast
full grown adults on the other hand can make their own decisions, i do not care about that . but the way it is marketed, i dont know.... a little insidious . it shouldnt be advertised as anything other than a tool to help someone quit smoking . but then, all marketing is the devil . rule of thumb, block your ears and scream really loud when you are shown any commercials, and dont sell babies nicotine for breakfast
Have you listened to Taylor Swift's new album, The Tortured Poets Department?
Hello all!
Taylor Swift mania is well and truly here. Whether you're a music fan, interested in politics, or keeping up with the NFL, Swift's name seems to be everywhere in 2024!
It's been about a month since her last album, the Tortured Poets Department, was released. Have you listened to the album? What do you think of it, and are there any songs that you've really liked? Or perhaps, you've completely given it a pass? Let us know your thoughts in the thread below!
For my part, I've been meaning to listen to it, but haven't actually gotten around to it yet (but I will soon!).
Taylor Swift mania is well and truly here. Whether you're a music fan, interested in politics, or keeping up with the NFL, Swift's name seems to be everywhere in 2024!
It's been about a month since her last album, the Tortured Poets Department, was released. Have you listened to the album? What do you think of it, and are there any songs that you've really liked? Or perhaps, you've completely given it a pass? Let us know your thoughts in the thread below!
For my part, I've been meaning to listen to it, but haven't actually gotten around to it yet (but I will soon!).
Azziman
3
Re: Do you see vaping as a problem? Why/why not?
Okay so it seems like a lot of people here think:
✅ Vaping instead of smoking
❌ Vaping when you've never smoked
And you guys are conscious of the potential unstudied health effects too, which is fair.
I have to admit, the only vapers I know are my mum and my auntie who are both ex-smokers. So there are probably things I don't understand about it too.
This might be a silly thing to suggest, but do you guys think it's possible that people vape as a way to fidget or stim? I say this as someone who has a lot of fidget toys and needs that constant stimulation, and I can imagine vaping becoming an addictive habit for that reason too.
I know stimming is being talked about a bit more now, I imagine partly because people are more aware of autism and ADHD, and I wonder if that all ties in somehow. I might just be joining dots that aren't there but it did get me thinking about whether they're linked.
@Mike that is a very interesting point to make actually as I never thought as vaping being used as a form of stimming or fidget. Morover for people who identify as neurodivergent as it can help with daily stress or sensory needs. I know that most people vape to escape reality as well as something they can do to clear their minds. It reminds of something similar where there was a recent rise of CBD oil users due to studies that CBD helped to calm anxiety and particular conditions such as ADHD and autism. CBD oil was something I did look into once when I struggling a lot with my anxiety as an alternative form of medication. However, I went for medication as I felt that I didn't know what the long terms effects of taking CBD oil would be. Therefore I guess I played it safe maybe. I have thought of vaping once but I always been very unsure of how it could affect me or my health as I know some of the chemicals in vapes can be dangerous to inhale if consumed for a long period of time.
Amy22
2
Re: Do you see vaping as a problem? Why/why not?
Super interesting thread @JustV . From the perspective of a 'vaper' I couldn't agree more with the points I'm seeing, a lack of judgement is a great approach with friends/family, equally, no one should be vaping around others if they do not have permission (same as smoking) and definitely not in public enclosed areas such as buses! I know that's a lot easier said than done for some, as it can be a strong addiction.
For a while, I think, I was very in denial about the strong impact the nicotine in vaping was having on me. Thinking 'hey it's just for fun when I go out with friends' but it did very quickly turn into something I relied on. I sometimes feel very gutted about this, because not only do I feel like I'm wasting my money, lol, but also that there are health consequences I do not want to be unnecessarily worrying about!
Given all of these self-reflections, I have begun a process of stopping vaping. I tried to just stop abruptly 'cold-turkey' if you will, but this was very ineffective for me. Instead, I have started by not bringing one to work, so no vaping during 9-6 hours and my next step will be not to vape at all in the morning before work / before 10am on weekends. We shall see how this progresses and I am trying not to let any missteps get me down. It can take time to stop a habit, even of only a year or so. I am looking forward to having stronger lungs though haha xx
For a while, I think, I was very in denial about the strong impact the nicotine in vaping was having on me. Thinking 'hey it's just for fun when I go out with friends' but it did very quickly turn into something I relied on. I sometimes feel very gutted about this, because not only do I feel like I'm wasting my money, lol, but also that there are health consequences I do not want to be unnecessarily worrying about!
Given all of these self-reflections, I have begun a process of stopping vaping. I tried to just stop abruptly 'cold-turkey' if you will, but this was very ineffective for me. Instead, I have started by not bringing one to work, so no vaping during 9-6 hours and my next step will be not to vape at all in the morning before work / before 10am on weekends. We shall see how this progresses and I am trying not to let any missteps get me down. It can take time to stop a habit, even of only a year or so. I am looking forward to having stronger lungs though haha xx
Re: Does anyone else struggle with impulsivity
Running after trying to be in control won't help much. But slowly trying with each situation. It's really hard in the moment.
Tho I'll share an eg one of my impulsively actions were spending alot. Especially online...
So I put a spending weekly cap. And that's it. When it's gone it's gone...
Tho the root cause of it has to be dealt with.
The reason why u feel so out of control and what does the impulsive behaviours give u- because its filling a void.
So I would suggest getting to the root of it. Because otherwise it will just continue- and maybe get worse. With other behaviours. Not to scare u. Just to give u an understanding ❤️
Tho I'll share an eg one of my impulsively actions were spending alot. Especially online...
So I put a spending weekly cap. And that's it. When it's gone it's gone...
Tho the root cause of it has to be dealt with.
The reason why u feel so out of control and what does the impulsive behaviours give u- because its filling a void.
So I would suggest getting to the root of it. Because otherwise it will just continue- and maybe get worse. With other behaviours. Not to scare u. Just to give u an understanding ❤️
Sindy
3
How to support a deaf friend or colleague ✨
It was Deaf Awareness Week last week, so we wanted to talk about how we can best support a deaf friend or colleague. Remember, everyone’s experience is unique, so take the time to ask how you can best support them. 💛
See below for some tips and advice written by Henry Hughes DLY, a member of our Youth Advisory Board 👏. You can see Henry's full article here.
Alt text spoilered:
See below for some tips and advice written by Henry Hughes DLY, a member of our Youth Advisory Board 👏. You can see Henry's full article here.
Alt text spoilered:
How to support a deaf friend or colleague
Written by Henry Hughes, a Youth Advisory Board Member for The Mix
Communication
The same rule does not apply to all deaf people. Some deaf people will sign and some might lip read. Deaf people are uniquely different from one another and the way that we communicate will vary, so don't be afraid to check-in and ask. Remember when it comes to lip reading, we need to see your face as well as your mouth. Saying 'I'm okay' might sound the same but it can look different on people's faces.
Hearing aids & cochlear implants
These helps me access sounds that I cannot myself, but it is not the cure to all hearing loss. There is a stigma that when I put on my hearing aid and cochlear implants, I can understand everything around me, but that isn't the case.
3 things to do
1. Ensure that content has shared subtitles
If you're sharing clips, music, or messaging ensure that you have the appropriate text to go along side it.
2. Talk at a consistent pace but not too slowly
Talking a consistent pace can be helpful to understand a person but talking too slowly can be seen as a rude, spoon feeding approach.
3. Ask how we are coping with our auditory environment
If you know a deaf friend or colleague has a hard time absorbing a lot of sound, check-in with them. Constantly having to focus on hearing or understanding something can be very tiring.
3 things not to do
1. Don't raise your voice thinking it will help
There are much better way to get your point across. Perhaps find a quieter location, write down what you are trying to say or phrase your sentences differently.
2. Don't have your back to a deaf person
It can be really disrespectful to have your back to a deaf person and places lots of social barriers up. This is why when people form a closed group away from people, it can put a lot of barriers up.
3. Don't touch hearing devices
It's non-negotiable to snatch or touch a deaf person's hearing device, so if you ever see someone do that, don't be afraid to speak out.
Written by Henry Hughes, a Youth Advisory Board Member for The Mix
Communication
The same rule does not apply to all deaf people. Some deaf people will sign and some might lip read. Deaf people are uniquely different from one another and the way that we communicate will vary, so don't be afraid to check-in and ask. Remember when it comes to lip reading, we need to see your face as well as your mouth. Saying 'I'm okay' might sound the same but it can look different on people's faces.
Hearing aids & cochlear implants
These helps me access sounds that I cannot myself, but it is not the cure to all hearing loss. There is a stigma that when I put on my hearing aid and cochlear implants, I can understand everything around me, but that isn't the case.
3 things to do
1. Ensure that content has shared subtitles
If you're sharing clips, music, or messaging ensure that you have the appropriate text to go along side it.
2. Talk at a consistent pace but not too slowly
Talking a consistent pace can be helpful to understand a person but talking too slowly can be seen as a rude, spoon feeding approach.
3. Ask how we are coping with our auditory environment
If you know a deaf friend or colleague has a hard time absorbing a lot of sound, check-in with them. Constantly having to focus on hearing or understanding something can be very tiring.
3 things not to do
1. Don't raise your voice thinking it will help
There are much better way to get your point across. Perhaps find a quieter location, write down what you are trying to say or phrase your sentences differently.
2. Don't have your back to a deaf person
It can be really disrespectful to have your back to a deaf person and places lots of social barriers up. This is why when people form a closed group away from people, it can put a lot of barriers up.
3. Don't touch hearing devices
It's non-negotiable to snatch or touch a deaf person's hearing device, so if you ever see someone do that, don't be afraid to speak out.
Gemma
5