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Best Of
Re: Had a terrible second interview
Hey @La_La
Thanks for your response. You are more than welcome, it is just my honesty, and you deserve all the kindness.
Just a practical tip, have you thought about reading [employment] employee reviews? It can often give you an insight into their ethos.
You do indeed need to give yourself a rest. This is not a reflection of you at all or your skills, abilities, hard work, determination, and persistence.
You deserve to feel content at work. Keep searching until you find the place for you
Thanks for your response. You are more than welcome, it is just my honesty, and you deserve all the kindness.
Just a practical tip, have you thought about reading [employment] employee reviews? It can often give you an insight into their ethos.
You do indeed need to give yourself a rest. This is not a reflection of you at all or your skills, abilities, hard work, determination, and persistence.
You deserve to feel content at work. Keep searching until you find the place for you
Re: I went to my boyfriend’s on the weekend etc
Hey @_Tech_Addict_Girl
Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I am really pleased to see all the wonderful support already provided by @Brookee and @AislingDM.
I am really sorry to hear another student has passed away. It is always upsetting to hear anyone has passed away, especially when they are a similar age to ourselves. I am just wondering, did your teacher share potentially useful resources with you for managing this? If not, I will share some potentially useful bereavement resources here, just in case you want to access them, and they might hopefully help:
- Cruse (https://www.cruse.org.uk/)
- Wiston’s Wish (https://www.winstonswish.org/)
I hope this helps. Please be gentle to yourself and kind to yourself at this difficult time. If you would like to talk about this further, please know this is a safe space and we will listen. However, some other useful resources for talking about this if it just gets a little too much include Shout, Samaritans, The Mix Helpline, and The Mix Crisis Messenger (if you feel it is needed!). Their contact details are as follows:
- Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258 (24/7)
- Samaritans: Call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
- The Mix Helpline: Call 0808 808 4994 (4pm – 11pm, 7 days a week)
- The Mix Crisis Messenger: Text THEMIX to 85258 (24/7)
As @AislingDM said, you are 18 which means you are legally classified as an adult and can make your own choices. I am really sorry to hear your mum responded in this way. I am hoping it may be the shock of the situation changing. Do you feel comfortable talking to her about how and why it changed? Similarly, does your boyfriend's house have a sofa, mattress, or anything else you could sleep on in another room if you don’t feel comfortable sleeping with your boyfriend? Whatever you choose, please remember you have the right to choose.
In terms of opening up and talking to your boyfriend's friends, would you feel more comfortable if you could get to know them in smaller groups before talking with them in a whole group? I am just wondering if this could help you to feel more confident in talking to them as a group? It is understandable that you are quiet (and potentially nervous) around new people. Take this at your pace, and do what works for you, it doesn’t mean that they hate you at all! You are wonderful and I bet they agree.
We are here for you and listening to you! You don’t have to go through any of this or anything else alone if you don’t want to
Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I am really pleased to see all the wonderful support already provided by @Brookee and @AislingDM.
I am really sorry to hear another student has passed away. It is always upsetting to hear anyone has passed away, especially when they are a similar age to ourselves. I am just wondering, did your teacher share potentially useful resources with you for managing this? If not, I will share some potentially useful bereavement resources here, just in case you want to access them, and they might hopefully help:
- Cruse (https://www.cruse.org.uk/)
- Wiston’s Wish (https://www.winstonswish.org/)
I hope this helps. Please be gentle to yourself and kind to yourself at this difficult time. If you would like to talk about this further, please know this is a safe space and we will listen. However, some other useful resources for talking about this if it just gets a little too much include Shout, Samaritans, The Mix Helpline, and The Mix Crisis Messenger (if you feel it is needed!). Their contact details are as follows:
- Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258 (24/7)
- Samaritans: Call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
- The Mix Helpline: Call 0808 808 4994 (4pm – 11pm, 7 days a week)
- The Mix Crisis Messenger: Text THEMIX to 85258 (24/7)
As @AislingDM said, you are 18 which means you are legally classified as an adult and can make your own choices. I am really sorry to hear your mum responded in this way. I am hoping it may be the shock of the situation changing. Do you feel comfortable talking to her about how and why it changed? Similarly, does your boyfriend's house have a sofa, mattress, or anything else you could sleep on in another room if you don’t feel comfortable sleeping with your boyfriend? Whatever you choose, please remember you have the right to choose.
In terms of opening up and talking to your boyfriend's friends, would you feel more comfortable if you could get to know them in smaller groups before talking with them in a whole group? I am just wondering if this could help you to feel more confident in talking to them as a group? It is understandable that you are quiet (and potentially nervous) around new people. Take this at your pace, and do what works for you, it doesn’t mean that they hate you at all! You are wonderful and I bet they agree.
We are here for you and listening to you! You don’t have to go through any of this or anything else alone if you don’t want to
Re: I went to my boyfriend’s on the weekend etc
Hey @_Tech_Addict_Girl
It's understandable that this has affected you, it's okay to feel what you're feeling, even if you didn't know them that well, it doesn't mean you can't feel grief around it. In terms of your boyfriend, it sounds like your mum isn't being very understanding. At the end of the day you are legally an adult now, and you're entitled to do what you please, I know it can be a really difficult situation to navigate with your mum, but is there anyway you can put your boundaries in place, and explain to her that you are actually an adult now, and you're allowed to sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend if that's your choice. I know this isn't completely stress free for you, so please don't feel like you have to. I just want you to know that your feelings are valid. It sounds like she's projecting a lot, and I'm glad that your nan is being supportive to you.
It makes sense that you feel worried that they don't like you given all you've been through in the past, but it seems as though they're happy to have you on the chat, even if you struggle to get involved. Have you been able to discuss this with your boyfriend at all? It may be helpful to let him know about your anxieties and why you're feeling this way. Of course, again, don't do anything that doesn't make you feel comfortable. I just want you to know that you're doing your best, and it can be hard to engage with people you don't know that well, and the fact you're trying by even getting on the group call is an amazing step!
It's understandable that this has affected you, it's okay to feel what you're feeling, even if you didn't know them that well, it doesn't mean you can't feel grief around it. In terms of your boyfriend, it sounds like your mum isn't being very understanding. At the end of the day you are legally an adult now, and you're entitled to do what you please, I know it can be a really difficult situation to navigate with your mum, but is there anyway you can put your boundaries in place, and explain to her that you are actually an adult now, and you're allowed to sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend if that's your choice. I know this isn't completely stress free for you, so please don't feel like you have to. I just want you to know that your feelings are valid. It sounds like she's projecting a lot, and I'm glad that your nan is being supportive to you.
It makes sense that you feel worried that they don't like you given all you've been through in the past, but it seems as though they're happy to have you on the chat, even if you struggle to get involved. Have you been able to discuss this with your boyfriend at all? It may be helpful to let him know about your anxieties and why you're feeling this way. Of course, again, don't do anything that doesn't make you feel comfortable. I just want you to know that you're doing your best, and it can be hard to engage with people you don't know that well, and the fact you're trying by even getting on the group call is an amazing step!
Re: Exploring sexuality
Hi @annas
Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.
I can hear you feel confused and concerned. It takes a lot of time and energy to process your sexuality, especially if you are not instinctively sure about your sexuality.
I think your first step would be to think about how you feel about your boyfriend. You may also think about and reflect on what you think you like about females. This may give you a clearer idea.
Then you will be more aware of whether you should stay with your boyfriend or break up with your boyfriend and explore more about your sexuality.
If you identify as bisexual it could be that you love your boyfriend but also find females attractive and that is okay too.
We are here for you and always listening to you
Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.
I can hear you feel confused and concerned. It takes a lot of time and energy to process your sexuality, especially if you are not instinctively sure about your sexuality.
I think your first step would be to think about how you feel about your boyfriend. You may also think about and reflect on what you think you like about females. This may give you a clearer idea.
Then you will be more aware of whether you should stay with your boyfriend or break up with your boyfriend and explore more about your sexuality.
If you identify as bisexual it could be that you love your boyfriend but also find females attractive and that is okay too.
We are here for you and always listening to you
Re: Exploring sexuality
Hey @annas thank you for sharing your experience.
Exploring your own sexuality can sometimes bring up new emotions which can be confusing. I just wanted to ask how you're feeling about this new situation?
Let us know if there's anything you want to talk about
Exploring your own sexuality can sometimes bring up new emotions which can be confusing. I just wanted to ask how you're feeling about this new situation?
Let us know if there's anything you want to talk about
Re: I am so drained and in pain
Hi @Kate_20
I would say perhaps scrub it with anti-stain before putting it in the wash with an anti-stain!
I hope this helps
I would say perhaps scrub it with anti-stain before putting it in the wash with an anti-stain!
I hope this helps
Re: PMU RAF
It is disappointing @Anch0r33 especially as it is something you have been aiming towards and hoping for 
Acknowledge and feel all your emotions but also keep in mind that this is not necessarily the final result!
Acknowledge and feel all your emotions but also keep in mind that this is not necessarily the final result!
Re: Involuntary reaction at work
Hey @One-in-a-million
I'm really sorry to read about your experience! Thank you so much for opening up to us, I understand how difficult this can be. I just wanted to say that trauma affects everyone differently, so it's important to understand that this isn't always in your control. Trauma massively impacts our bodies, so it's understandable that you reacted that way. I think we can often overthink a lot when under distress, particularly after trauma has caused a specific reaction, that may lead to further ramifications for you. However, be kind and gentle to yourself, this isn't something you could've controlled, and it's important to be kind to yourself whilst dealing with this.
If you're very worried about your manager approaching you, it may be best to approach them firs if this is something that is possible for you, of course don't do anything that will cause you further distress or upset. They may be able to refer you to some sort of therapy or something where you can be listened to in a safe and non-judgmental environment, allowing you to work through this and find ways to recognise triggers and reactions to these.
I wonder, as Laura has already asked, if you've ever been offered support or spoken to any professionals about this past trauma i.e. GP's, they may be able to refer you to some services that can help you cope with these.
For now, please be kind with yourself, you're doing the best you can, sending you lots of love
I'm really sorry to read about your experience! Thank you so much for opening up to us, I understand how difficult this can be. I just wanted to say that trauma affects everyone differently, so it's important to understand that this isn't always in your control. Trauma massively impacts our bodies, so it's understandable that you reacted that way. I think we can often overthink a lot when under distress, particularly after trauma has caused a specific reaction, that may lead to further ramifications for you. However, be kind and gentle to yourself, this isn't something you could've controlled, and it's important to be kind to yourself whilst dealing with this.
If you're very worried about your manager approaching you, it may be best to approach them firs if this is something that is possible for you, of course don't do anything that will cause you further distress or upset. They may be able to refer you to some sort of therapy or something where you can be listened to in a safe and non-judgmental environment, allowing you to work through this and find ways to recognise triggers and reactions to these.
I wonder, as Laura has already asked, if you've ever been offered support or spoken to any professionals about this past trauma i.e. GP's, they may be able to refer you to some services that can help you cope with these.
For now, please be kind with yourself, you're doing the best you can, sending you lots of love
Re: Having trouble finding a job
Hi @zaynab_5
Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.
What is a good sign is your dedication and persistence.
You are using all of the websites I would recommend (especially Indeed).
Unfortunately, summer jobs will be very competitive at the moment.
Are there other types of jobs you would consider? Once you get into university, there will likely be lots of causal and student jobs available if that provides some reassurance.
The only things I can suggest within summer jobs are to target your CV to the individual post and to keep trying!
By targeting your CV I mean to put the job criteria and description in a document. Based on this, you can highlight and annotate it according to the points you have fulfilled based on your experiences and studying.
I hope this helps
Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.
What is a good sign is your dedication and persistence.
You are using all of the websites I would recommend (especially Indeed).
Unfortunately, summer jobs will be very competitive at the moment.
Are there other types of jobs you would consider? Once you get into university, there will likely be lots of causal and student jobs available if that provides some reassurance.
The only things I can suggest within summer jobs are to target your CV to the individual post and to keep trying!
By targeting your CV I mean to put the job criteria and description in a document. Based on this, you can highlight and annotate it according to the points you have fulfilled based on your experiences and studying.
I hope this helps
Re: Stay alive and woebot app
Hi @ellie2000
Yess, you have raised a really important point. In your game, if you lose, you can indeed click reset. In life, if you lose, there is a similar button. It is called try, try and try again! I don't believe you ever lose, you just learn more ways of how not to do something which moves you closer to how to do something
Yess, you have raised a really important point. In your game, if you lose, you can indeed click reset. In life, if you lose, there is a similar button. It is called try, try and try again! I don't believe you ever lose, you just learn more ways of how not to do something which moves you closer to how to do something