Best Of

Helplines can fuck off, everyone who sees me as an attention seeker can fuck off because I genuinely can’t do this crap anymore. I know I’m a worthless peice of shit I have been my whole life but people don’t need to fucking point it out. I never asked to fucking live I never asked to still be alive but everyone fucking expects me to be!

Sorry I’m a fucking worthless nobody!!

Safe. I guess.

pls dont say I matter etc bc i definitely don’t. but i had a shitty letter from police and it’s making me feel like shit. telling me they want to establish something ( didn’t tell me what. ) and that they want to go further with the investigation but ive told them so fucking clearly i don’t want to . im giving up i am so done with this world i have no one to turn to or anything . im stuck in this homeless shelter with 0 support. im fed up .

im safe i am not in crisis i do not need extra support. i just need to rant.

🫶🏻 Across the UK 🫶🏻

- Samaritans = https://www.samaritans.org/
- Calm = https://www.thecalmzone.net/
- Shout = https://giveusashout.org/
- Kooth = https://www.kooth.com/
- Myblackdog = https://www.myblackdog.co/
- KellysHeroes = https://kellysheroes.org.uk/
- Hidden strength (app)
- childline = https://www.childline.org.uk/
- Mind = https://www.mind.org.uk/
- Switchboard = https://switchboard.lgbt/
- National suicide prevention helpline = https://spuk.org.uk/national-suicide-prevention-helpline/
- Papyrus = https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
- A&E
- Sidekick = https://sidekick.actionforchildren.org.uk

🫶🏻 Welsh helplines 🫶🏻

- C.A.L.L = https://callhelpline.org.uk/
- Meic = https://www.meiccymru.org/
- Samaritans = https://www.samaritans.org/
- A&E
- Childline = https://www.childline.org.uk/
- Shout = https://giveusashout.org/

🫶🏻 Scottish 🫶🏻
- breathing space = https://www.breathingspace.scot/
- SAMH = https://www.samh.org.uk/
- Samaritans = https://www.samaritans.org/
- A&E
- Shout = https://giveusashout.org/

🫶🏻Northern Ireland 🫶🏻
- Cara- friend = https://cara-friend.org.uk/
- lifeline = https://www.lifelinehelpline.info/
- Cause = https://cause.org.uk/
- Samaritans = https://www.samaritans.org/
- A&E
- KellysHeroes = https://kellysheroes.org.uk/
- My black dog = https://www.myblackdog.co/


< Other places on the NHS website >
- shining a light on on suicide = https://shiningalightonsuicide.org.uk/
- safe line (support for men who are victims of SA)
- Crisis teams
- Camhs crisis line
- Crisis cafes

I don’t hate you, I hate you for the way you carted me off to the side like I was nothing, for the reasons why you couldn’t be a mother. You raised me with scars and trauma till you lost your fight, you were denied custody and forced to hand over your rights. You hurt me even when I told and explained my pain to you. 15 years later you wanted to be a mom or did you because that quickly changed, you don’t want a hurt, bruised and damaged daughter, you said it yourself I’m the “problematic child”

You was meant to be my mom, you were just my abuser, you were meant to be my mom but you showed me everything except love and care…you said I’m ruining my life yet you don’t see it, you caused the CPTSD, you caused the self hatred I have for myself, you hung the endless heavy burdening cloud above myself: so no I didn’t ruin my life, you ruined it when I was 3, when you was incapable of loving children but kept popping them out every year for 8 years, you didn’t think about us!

Where was the food, where was the clothes, where was the toys and love, WHERE WERE YOU. You can keep saying you were a shit mom but you still are, you haven’t changed, changing is accepting the truth, changing is realising you did more damage than you realise, changing is owning up to your mistakes, not hiding behind a lie saying social services kidnapped us…they didn’t you just abandoned us

You broke a 3 year old heart, you broke the heart of a confused toddler, you broke the heart of a toddler that got sent to an abusive foster home, you were my first heart break at age 3. You were so incapable of loving me that I was so underdeveloped that I had to be separated from my siblings, you didn’t nurture me, I couldn’t speak till I was 5 because you didn’t teach me! Least you taught me one thing…to not end up like you

You act like you’re my mum yet where were you the past 15 years? You were never here, you fucked off and let others do the work, you fucked off to come back just to brag about your grown up daughter which behind close doors you hate. You misunderstand what I’m really like, you abandoned me again for my sister because you know I know the truth, you know I can’t be brainwashed by your lies.

Your not my mum, your not my family, you gave birth to me and chose to fuck off instead of accepting responsibility, your nothing to me just like you see me as nothing to you.

I just give up, I genuinely just give up. I’m tired, I’m tired of surviving, I’m tired of having to tell people what they want to hear. I just want to scream and cry the truth out but now I can’t do that cis that’s attention seeking so guess it’s staying bottled up.

Don’t tell me I’m not an attention seeker

nah man i msged them bc im feeling suicidal and they tell me they haven’t got energy to talk to me & that im lying abt my diagnosis’s? what the fuck. i have literal fucking proof. im so fucking done reaching out to helplines. * im safe* but im so fucking done with it. im gonna try reaching out to shout to see if they’re of any more help .