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Best Of
Re: My story - what actually happened (TW: mention of SA)
This x100000You are really brave and I want you to know that none of this is your fault. You didn't ruin anything, your dad did, and your family for not believing you about something very traumatic. You were just a kid, how should you know how to talk about this?
When you're little, you're absolutely completely reliant on the adults around you to know how to look after you and to treat you well, because you can't identify or talk about abuse at that age. Your dad is the abuser @Past User and he's responsible for what you went through and everything that happened since then. Not you - not even slightly.
I couldn't help but notice you also said something about not being strong enough to do a video interview. I just want you to know that most sexual abuse survivors don't, because it's unreasonable to expect someone who has been traumatised by sexual abuse to do that in the first place. It doesn't mean you're weak; it means the justice system is broken and rigged against you.
Hell, most people don't tell the police at all (or ANYONE). The fact you told your school and the fact you're telling us right now shows remarkable courage.
For what it's worth, it can get better. I know you said this is always in your head, and that's nothing but normal considering what happened to you. You also said that telling someone brought those memories up, and that might be a good thing (even if it's painful now) - unpacking experiences, feeling our feelings, and thinking about stuff is all part of how we process trauma (that and a good therapist).
Speaking of: are you getting any kind of therapy or counselling?
I also want to say that I was really moved by this post. It sounds like you did all the right things, and it seems so wrong that doing the right things has left you in this position. You deserve better.
JustV
6
Hello!
Hi, I’m Abbey, I just finished my first year of law. Planning on spending the summer making up lost time with my kitty Cleocatpra 🐈 I also play tennis and coach people!
Sunday General and Support Chat threads
Hey everyone,
We wanted to let you know we'll be running General and Support Chat threads here on the boards every fortnight on Sundays! The wonderful @AislingDM will be running these from 8-9.30pm
Make sure to come along on Sunday 22nd Jan for the first Sunday chat! Aisling will be posting the Support Chat thread on the day and you can chat over in the General Chit Chat thread as usual.
Enjoy!
The Mix Team
We wanted to let you know we'll be running General and Support Chat threads here on the boards every fortnight on Sundays! The wonderful @AislingDM will be running these from 8-9.30pm
Make sure to come along on Sunday 22nd Jan for the first Sunday chat! Aisling will be posting the Support Chat thread on the day and you can chat over in the General Chit Chat thread as usual.
Enjoy!
The Mix Team
TheMix
5
Already another bad year
Why can't I have just ONE good year? I'm sick of this. 2022 was awful and we aren't even past a month into this year but bad things have already happened.
Tw loss and cancer
Tw loss and cancer
my dad has lost his mate. My friend is in and out of hospital and theres a possibility of brain cancer. And ive been told tonight that my aunt has bladder cancer...
Chloe234
6
An update about a chat mod 🌈
Hey guys, I have a bit of news to share. Before I get into it though, I want to make sure you're in a comfortable place (physically and mentally) to hear it. Here's a trigger warning for death / grief and if you're not feeling ready to open that box right now, come back to this thread at a better time. 
Zaki joined the group chat mod team in the middle of last year. Some of you will have met him and some of you won't have, depending on when you usually go to group chat. He was mostly in GC.
After becoming unwell near the end of November, Zaki passed away shortly before Christmas.
I know you will have all had a different relationship with Zaki and this news will land differently for each of you. I'm also conscious that we've just had Christmas and the New Year, and grief can become more present for people around now, and this stuff can be a bit emotionally jumbled.
The staff team wanted to create this space so we would have a place to talk about it together and process the news as a group. So whatever you're feeling, feel free to share it here or privately with the staff team. Equally, no pressure to comment or say anything at all if you don't want to.
Personally, I felt a bit speechless when I heard this (still do), so please know there's no right or wrong thing to say or way to respond. Do whatever feels right for you. 💚
You can also get in touch with Cruse Beraevement Care, or chat to The Mix's 1-2-1 services if you'd like to talk to someone outside of the community about it.
I do want to pass on something warming from Zaki's mum about him being a chat mod:
After becoming unwell near the end of November, Zaki passed away shortly before Christmas.
I know you will have all had a different relationship with Zaki and this news will land differently for each of you. I'm also conscious that we've just had Christmas and the New Year, and grief can become more present for people around now, and this stuff can be a bit emotionally jumbled.
The staff team wanted to create this space so we would have a place to talk about it together and process the news as a group. So whatever you're feeling, feel free to share it here or privately with the staff team. Equally, no pressure to comment or say anything at all if you don't want to.
Personally, I felt a bit speechless when I heard this (still do), so please know there's no right or wrong thing to say or way to respond. Do whatever feels right for you. 💚
You can also get in touch with Cruse Beraevement Care, or chat to The Mix's 1-2-1 services if you'd like to talk to someone outside of the community about it.
I do want to pass on something warming from Zaki's mum about him being a chat mod:
Zaki really enjoyed his time volunteering with the team and learnt so much, for that we are grateful. All Zaki ever wanted to do is help people and so we think it would bring great comfort to us that he made a difference.
JustV
11
Letter Unrecieved
Thomas,
I've thought about this for a very long time. The realities of my history in relationships, your history and our friendship. Everytime I've said I love you, I didn't just mean it in the way you say it back to me. I meant it as though it's the only thing keeping me going sometimes. And I know that you're not over your ex. I know that and I know that it's an impossibility. But even so, I love you. I want you and only you. I know you don't love me and that's okay. But I can't just sit by and watch your self destructive behaviors and I can't just have my feelings ignored anymore. I'm done trying to make you see things because you don't want to. The ball is in your court now.
I've thought about this for a very long time. The realities of my history in relationships, your history and our friendship. Everytime I've said I love you, I didn't just mean it in the way you say it back to me. I meant it as though it's the only thing keeping me going sometimes. And I know that you're not over your ex. I know that and I know that it's an impossibility. But even so, I love you. I want you and only you. I know you don't love me and that's okay. But I can't just sit by and watch your self destructive behaviors and I can't just have my feelings ignored anymore. I'm done trying to make you see things because you don't want to. The ball is in your court now.
Re: Community Quiz (Wednesday 4 January, 7pm-8pm)
How could I have won when I wasn't there??? @Mike
The new year
1st of January.
I’m so proud of the little kid in me, she’s come along way, she never thought she’d see a future past 18.
She’s still scared that everything she’s worked for so far will be suddenly taken away one way or another but she knows deep down all she can do is work towards her goal today, in this moment.
It’s not been easy, far from it, but we’ve learnt it’s possible and maybe, just maybe one day, we’ll get to where we truly feel content, maybe the world will make sense and everything will settle, even just for a moment but until then we’ll keep working, fighting, breathing…
Heres to the people who made it through 2022 when simply just surviving was one of the hardest things they ever had to do. My love to you all. I'm so proud of everyone here.
I’m so proud of the little kid in me, she’s come along way, she never thought she’d see a future past 18.
She’s still scared that everything she’s worked for so far will be suddenly taken away one way or another but she knows deep down all she can do is work towards her goal today, in this moment.
It’s not been easy, far from it, but we’ve learnt it’s possible and maybe, just maybe one day, we’ll get to where we truly feel content, maybe the world will make sense and everything will settle, even just for a moment but until then we’ll keep working, fighting, breathing…
Heres to the people who made it through 2022 when simply just surviving was one of the hardest things they ever had to do. My love to you all. I'm so proud of everyone here.
