Best Of

While I was out earlier i saw 3 of the teachers from school and I guess talking to them made it feel even more real with the whole going back to school and being year 11 on Wednesday.

I don't mind about the school part really it's the whole stress, pressure and work that comes with it. I'm barely managing now and my mental health has gotten so much more worse that it was before the summer.

I'll be back to having panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I'll be back to hiding in the toilets at break and crying so my friends don't see me like it. I'll be back to "Being the smart one" when I can't keep up. I'll be back to the lonely one or the "emo". Its just so much.

I haven't even finished my coursework for DT that I need to finish before I go back. I've had loads of drama work to do on 'an inspector calls' for ages too. But I just don't have the energy to do it.

I guess in a sense I'm scared too. I'm scared that it's the last year of secondary school and I'm not ready to move on. Some of the teachers are all I've really had since being in school and they've helped me get through

I'm worried about mocks and gcses too. They're getting harsher on the grade boundaries each and every year. I'm barely passing some subjects. I can't fail

I'm also worried about prom. It's in less than a year and im gonna be the one covered in scars and sh. And I hate it but I just can't stop. I need it.

Then don't get me started on everything else outside of school. It's all just so shit and idk how much I can take

I'd love to start my first post about something I do best complain: today I just spoke to a guy sorry but he had no clue what he was talking about and no clue to any of my questions not a great start then when i tried to say anything he said i was talking to fast but the thing that really annoyed me when i asked what can be done to help me he said cause i cant take meds for good reasons "I've eliminated more than half of treatment options" and its my fault that I'm not getting support like tf 🤬i really hate ignorant people like you are suppose be helping people ik this happens all the time but i wont stand for it, we need better for people in need like if that's best i can get why bother reaching out also why do people love to say the gp will answer any and all questions like when you get there they cant answer anything like looks like one can answer questions or do anything anyway he ending the call by really quickly hanging up on me made me feel really great and supported so glad he could help! 😍