Best Of

Still on a waiting list btw, luv it 🤪

Yesterday, I had a few moments of crying. But last night was probably the worse. As I was genuinely crying in agony, I was praying to god to give me the courage to kill my self, saying I’m not strong enough and that he’s playing a cruel joke on me.

And I’m not even religious. It just seems as if I’m only praying to god whenever I’m emotionally at my lowest stage.

Hey @Redemption

I’m sorry you’re feeling exhausted, that sounds extremely difficult to contend with. It’s okay to have low days and it’s okay to feel more emotional one day than the other

Is there anything that you can do to relax or do to support you without others bothering you, your time and space

I feel my self-esteem is going down again, and everything is getting to me emotionally and mentally. I'm becoming a bit paranoid and constantly worried that the worst is going to happen. I have fears about losing people, especially in relationships and friendships, and I have a deep fear of becoming alone. I feel inferior compared to everyone and find it impossible not to compare myself to others. I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed that it's affecting my sleep, and I’ve been having nightmares involving distressing or negative situations. It’s on my mind to the point where I'm having bad dreams, which isn’t fun. I get paranoid when I see the police near my house or while I’m driving. Even though I’m not doing anything illegal, I still worry they’ve been to my house or are going to pull me over for no reason, like what happened the other day. I feel like I’ve been exposed to one negative thing after another lately. I’m bored, stressed, overwhelmed, and feel stuck. I know there’s a pathway forward, but it’s been so tough with the ongoing negativity and lack of routine, and I feel like what I can do is limited.

@Redemption , hey, how are you today? I wanted to check in off the back of your thread here. It sounds like you were going through an extreamly overwhelming time, and I really heard that feeling of helplessness. It sounded as though those self-doubts were getting really loud, and you were really questioning whether or nor you're a faliure. Those are some deeply painful beliefs to be feeling, and again, thank you so much for opening up and for being so honest.

It really does feel like you've had to contend with so much lately, and I hear how draining it is to go through life day-to-day and to feel like your goals are not getting any closer. You mentioned that sometimes a part of you wonders if you have 'done everything wrong', and I wondered what you mean by this?

We're all here for you and rooting for you, hoping that the change you're working so incredibly hard for will come very soon. You deserve nothing less!