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@River I don't know what exactly happened, or what the situation is, but you are not guilty of anything. You are not a filthy disgusting freak, I promise. Whatever it is, authorities have been informed by you, and authorities know the situation. And whatever it is, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

People miss things, there are signs that don't get spotted all the time. Heck, when my uncle took me out and ended up selling me at age 4, he was 2 months out the nut house and had more red flags than the red army had in WW2, off his meds and shaking for a drink. And that was missed by my mum and my gran. People miss things, which is why having people like Anna to double check stuff sounds like a good idea in future for you. I'm glad you've been able to get things off your chest to her, and I'm glad you've got support from her and authorities are sorting things.

But you are not a filthy disgusting freak, you are the same kind hearted person you've always been River.

River wrote: »

If I have to tell the staff tomorrow the situation I’m gonna be so humiliated, I’d tell them and ask them to delete my account 😭

Sorry for rambling, I’m here if you want to vent or anything however you know where to find me if you don’t feel comfy on here @DonnerKebab

@River It's understandable. If it's any consolation, there's a chance I'm gonna have counter terror crawling over every aspect of my life soon enough, from internet history to possibly interviewing family just to rule out radicalism, if they take the crap claims seriously which they most likely won't. By the looks of it though for you, just showing it's been reported via that screenshot River is all they'll need to know, but i understand if it's too embarrassing to stay after, if they want more info.

And don't ever apologise for venting about things. You've listened and supported me venting enough times friend. And thank you River, you really are the greatest

It was hard enough showing Anna and I trust her with my life, I feel disgusting like how did I not know that it was wrong I’m a filthy disgusting freak I hate myself so much

I’m not gonna be able to tell the staff I’m so ashamed, they may still have to risk safety even tho it’s sorted but idk I’m so scared, literally set my alarm for 9:30 so I’m awake before the mix is online just incase because I don’t trust that it won’t be reported

If I have to tell the staff tomorrow the situation I’m gonna be so humiliated, I’d tell them and ask them to delete my account 😭

Sorry for rambling, I’m here if you want to vent or anything however you know where to find me if you don’t feel comfy on here @DonnerKebab

River wrote: »

@DonnerKebab im so scared I can’t sleep

Also I’m not hiding anything I blocked out the username as didn’t want people to gain access to it, only some people need to know the situation

@River I fully understand, and don't want to know the details because it's clearly uncomfortable for you and that sort of stuff should stay private whatever it is. But i understand it is must be extremely difficult, and i'm so sorry your facing this battle. It's unfair for you.

But i want you to know, I've been at the stage of being to scared to sleep. It's a horrible feeling, and i wish i could give you some advice on how to overcome it, but the only way I did was getting so tired that i ended up falling asleep. I know it's no consolation, but I'm here for as long as you want to talk for friend.

@DonnerKebab im so scared I can’t sleep

Also I’m not hiding anything I blocked out the username as didn’t want people to gain access to it, only some people need to know the situation

I have no proof though because of who I reported it through I guess I’m screwed then might as well brace for an embarrassing and humiliating conversation will just have to go into hiding after for the rest of my life

@DonnerKebab yeah but we all know it’s probably not if it’s passed on, it will be uncomfortable questions after another and that will just be humiliating if it gets out, rather it be left be now it’s been sorted and technically it has been reported just not directly to police. I didn’t even show or say the comments today except to Anna and it caused concern, I just want this to be over, I can’t cope with another stupid mess, was on the brink of mentally exploding a couple of weeks ago and even tho spoke to my doctor and they put me on meds but they haven’t kicked in yet I don’t think or either that I’m immune cos one more stressful situation and idk what will happen something bad potentially, worse than dealing with this mess on my own, I wish I hadn’t of opened my mouth

Safe being written like that because what is safe when you have CPTSD and an anxiety disorder