Best Of

Went on to the logging system we have and they’ve put a different fucking story on and now my mum is blaming me, I’ve not fucking done anything wrong

So here’s the back context

Monday ~So there’s a teaching assistant that hates my guts and I’ve never known why but usually stuff she’s done and said has been tolerable but on Monday it wasn’t which ended me walking out of class. She full on screamed at me for no reason and yelling is a trigger so I walked out and cried to my progress coach who took me back to class and got the teaching assistant out and she lied to the progress coach so I stormed off and my progress coach followed me so I broke down crying in the bathroom to her and said I’m not coming in the next day and I left. I phoned my mum sobbing and she came to pick me up because I couldn’t stop crying so she’s called my progress coach on Tuesday to speak to her about it because even my mum knows this isn’t knew and has been going on a long time.

So I had Tuesday off and went back in yesterday where I had to have a meeting with my tutor and basically she took the teaching assistant side (they all have) and basically said I was being over sensitive and also said that the teaching assistant has the rest of the week off because she is “upset” about it so I was upset about all that so I got on the bus as normal and then as soon as I saw my mum I bursted into tears and basically she said that I’m not going back next year and to withdraw my application as I don’t really need to do another year because long term is being an author and I’ve already got a book coming out etc so she said that after college is over in may to just get a job and obviously write and publish more books.

Today I refused to go in because I was just feeling so crappy about the situation and someone had ago at me on messages last night as well so couldn’t face it, I could tell my mum was annoyed about it this morning and I’ll get a lecture when she comes home but idrc she gets a clean and tidy house out of it and I get a day to just be on my own and blast music.

Also someone from college on messages said I need to forget about it and stop being upset over it which I get about moving on but my self harm says otherwise about moving on

So honestly today I’ve muted everyone from college because I’m just fed up with the people and college in general. Even Emma was being iffy about it saying she didn’t scream which she clearly did but whatever I don’t even speak to her anymore cos I’m a waste of her time and a waste of space in general. She would just safeguard me anyway so

thank you @Katie i did immediately think “was i definitely meant to receive this email” lol

also yes it very much so does like like a face haha, i’m never ever gonna be able to see those 2 stars together now and not think of a face🤣

sooo in january i sat 2 exams when going through a LOT to say the least and was not at all in the headspace for an exam - on top of that college was messing me about with support too, looove that for me but anyways i only started revising for them on the morning of the exams oopsies, so i kinda set myself up to fail them and after, i thought i messed up the exams so badly and didn’t even wanna know my results.

the day is here, we got our results and i am shocked!! in unit 1, which i absolutely hated i got a pass (equivalent to a C at a level) and in unit 2, which i looooved i got a distinction (equivalent to an A at a level) which is the highest grade you can get in an exam paper for the course im doing so im absolutely buzzing about that!!

soo im thinking of maybe resitting unit 1 in may again (gotta decide by monday) to try get a higher grade as we had a horrific paper i heard a lot of people say (i was gonna find it hard regardless of how hard it actually was since i put no work into it) because im thinking maybe the next paper, which will be may, won’t be just as horrific? maybeeee

sorry i just had to share lol