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Hey, hope everyone is doing good. So long story, short, I started a job in June and have hated it the whole time. Having chronic mental health issues doesn't help, and I thought it wasn't going too badly as I was doing sort of okay. Now it's just got even worse. I've had a whole situation with my managers, and now I'm being labelled as disrespectful and having an attitude problem. Again, long story short, I couldn't work one day because I wasn't going to be in my hometown, I physically was not there. I told them this, giving them a month's notice to find a solution. Bare in mind we are short staffed, but according to managers we have enough staff (we don't). It's such a terrible company to work for, they are all patronising and hypocritical, and you can't challenge them because they see it as disrespect and attitude. Basically, the whole situation ended up being my fault, and I now have a warning on my record (I don't care about this). My manager is going on and on about not dragging out this situation and just dropping it and moving forward, bare in mind this happened a week ago, but she also wants to have a meeting next week to discuss my issues with the company, as I said I didn't feel respected by them. Even though I said this out of anger and said to drop it, she won't. I am going to look for another job, but truthfully job-hopping and moving on to new jobs gives me so much anxiety that I feel like I need a few months out of work everytime I leave a job to fully reset myself, but people just don't understand this. And now actually being an adult (I'm 19 LOL), I'm just constantly told to get over it and grow up kinda thing. I know it probably sounds stupid, but work is draining me. If I have a day off and then work the next day, I will count down the hours knowing I have to go into work. At this point I will have to be the main source of income for my household. We've been on benefits my entire life (it's me, my mum and twin brother). My mum has been out of work for years, but knows she will need to try and go back to work soon. My brother is autistic (as am I), he is still currently in a form of education, they are also trying to help him with work placements to eventually get him into paid work. But I just don't know what to do. I literally can't see myself working full-time without having a breakdown a few weeks in, and I have no passion or love for anything anymore. I don't even know what I want for a career. Like I can't understand how people go their whole lives working and enjoying it. I have literally resorted to trying to earn money by playing games through an app, but to earn the full amount you have to reach ridiculous levels on these games and honestly it seems like it's going to end in disappointment. Sorry for the SUPER long message, but I literally don't know what to do anymore.
I hope someone takes the time to read this because I do REALLY appreciate any replies xxx