Best Of

glad to hear it, @so_very_tired , if you don't mind sharing, can I ask which family argue, is it parents, siblings etc? Not trying to be nosey, just wondering, I can relate to this kind of stuff.

It has @Redemption thankfully.

Sorry to hear this SVT, I hope it's not started again since posting

Family are getting into arguments again. It has stopped for the time being, but I wouldn't be surprised if it starts again.

Hi @SopSHJ546, thank you for your kind words, it’s nice to know that somebody has been through a similar situation and made it through:) At the moment, I guess i’m just struggling to see how everything gets easier, I can’t seem to see past these current issues and it’s so demotivating. How did you manage when things were tough in uni? :)

Dacia's official Instagram page messaged me which is pretty cool no bigger but kinda cool

so I keep relapsing with everything and now I have to hide it all which is going to be harder since me and my partner are starting to go gym again.

I also don’t want N to see or find out about any more SH because I can never say why I did it or what caused it etc.

then it’s like my ED voice is loud and has been triggered a lot by the food I’ve been eating. Like all the food is healthy but it’s doing something internally which makes me purge it, I don’t want to start that all again because it caused a lot of health issues but I don’t know if I can stop, from last night I’ve started fasting and I know if I eat tonight it won’t stay down for long seen as that’s what’s happened the last 2 days now, but also if I fall asleep I won’t eat anyway. I don’t want to tell anyone this because it will worry them but also I don’t want to potentially risk having to choose between 2 different therapies. Like if my ED gets bad again they might say I have to go back to CBT therapy for that which means I’d have to give up the DBT which I don’t want to do. But then it’s the whole thing of if I tell anyone like my gp or the Ed team they’d want me to come in for monthly/weekly blood tests and monthly ecg which I don’t want because with the new policy at work with appointments I won’t ever be able to take holiday for an actual holiday or I’ll have to continually work more than what I’m contracted for.
if I bring this up to N I’m not sure what she will say as it’s likely linked to my emotions and how I can’t safely or properly express them but then she might talk to the team as well as both CEDT and ED work together. Or they might try and work it all together as instead of CBT for the ED they can of DBT which is what N is doing with me at the moment.

I know I should also contact my gp or N about me not taking my medication and that but then I don’t want to either. I can’t tell my partner that I’m not on my medication because he will say “I’ll tell M then, she will talk to you about taking them” (M is my general manager)

also going back to the ED the voice will like it in about 2 weeks because I go away for work (mentioned this before) but because I can’t go to the evening meals apart from Tuesday night, I’m likely not going to want to eat anything seen as I’ll be alone and means I won’t likely eat all day too

I just don’t know what to do from here my head can’t make anything seem plausible to do