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Best Of
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything?
Oh damn sorry @Sian321 my mum has cleaned it so all okay
River
1
Re: Taking small steps forward
Hey @Redemption , thank you so much for making this post, and please know its okay for you to be working through similar feelings in different threads. Sometimes things take time, and you have a right to share what's on your mind here, even if you feel like you've shared some of it before. That's all part of the process!
It sounds like lately that feeling of comparing yourself to others your age has really intensified, and that's left you with quite a lot of sadness, anxiety, and maybe knocks your confidence too. That's really hard. And like you said, the most difficult part of all has been trying to turn things around and then facing another set-back, such as when you tried to return to college but then people were mean. That really does sound like a very upsetting time, @Redemption , and I wonder what you remember about how that made you feel when people behaved like that towards you? I really hear just how much that has impacted you.
This does sound so anxiety inducing - that feeling of everything being a race and things changing so suddenly for the people around you whilst you're left feeling 'behind'. There's something so overwhelming about that, and sad too, when you see people experiencing some of the very same things that you long for yourself. It feels really powerful to hear you say that you think it should be normalized to not know what you want to do in your twenties. Your twenties especially can feel so, so pressured. And it sounds like you want to change that narrative and flip the script a bit! What do you think you'd want to say to someone else who felt like they had to figure everything out before they're 30?
I hear you, and it sounds like you've been wanting to be thorough? Taking those steps one at a time, making sure you've completed something fully before you start anew, and choosing new paths only once you're sure their direction feels right - would that be fair to say?
Thank you for sharing this too, and I can see how its that fear of structurlessness or not feeling a 'purpose' that is what scares you most of all at the end of the day. I wonder if you've felt able to express these fears with your counsellor at all, or perhaps with the facilitators on your course too? What has their response been like? That really does sound overwhelming, @Redemption , and I see you working so hard to create some of that structure for yourself. Reaching out here. To 1:1 support services. Through socialising. Your course. Applications and interviews. You've been trying to create that structure for yourself as best as possible and that takes a lot of dedication and commitment.
We're here for you, and thank you for sharing what's been on your mind lately.
It sounds like lately that feeling of comparing yourself to others your age has really intensified, and that's left you with quite a lot of sadness, anxiety, and maybe knocks your confidence too. That's really hard. And like you said, the most difficult part of all has been trying to turn things around and then facing another set-back, such as when you tried to return to college but then people were mean. That really does sound like a very upsetting time, @Redemption , and I wonder what you remember about how that made you feel when people behaved like that towards you? I really hear just how much that has impacted you.
One minute people are in similar positions to me, and the next it feels like everyone is getting married, buying nice cars, moving out, or graduating. It’s so, so easy to feel left behind by it all. I really think it needs to be normalised that it’s okay not to know what you want to do in your twenties.
This does sound so anxiety inducing - that feeling of everything being a race and things changing so suddenly for the people around you whilst you're left feeling 'behind'. There's something so overwhelming about that, and sad too, when you see people experiencing some of the very same things that you long for yourself. It feels really powerful to hear you say that you think it should be normalized to not know what you want to do in your twenties. Your twenties especially can feel so, so pressured. And it sounds like you want to change that narrative and flip the script a bit! What do you think you'd want to say to someone else who felt like they had to figure everything out before they're 30?
Since finishing college, I’ve tried more training and other paths, but not everything’s gone to plan. Sometimes I didn’t pick things up fast enough, or it didn’t feel right. I’ve been searching for something that gives me direction. I want to be clear that I haven’t finished until I take my next steps, which could potentially be another course. That can feel a bit rubbish sometimes, especially after such a long road trying to get into work, but it might be the best way to get me there.
I hear you, and it sounds like you've been wanting to be thorough? Taking those steps one at a time, making sure you've completed something fully before you start anew, and choosing new paths only once you're sure their direction feels right - would that be fair to say?
I don’t want to live a life with no structure or purpose, and that honestly scares me more than anything. If I believed that’s how things would always be, I’d feel completely hopeless. I’ve had times where I’ve felt overwhelmed and mentally drained. It hurts to see that I’m still out of work after all this time, and I sometimes dismiss the things I have achieved like they don’t count.
Thank you for sharing this too, and I can see how its that fear of structurlessness or not feeling a 'purpose' that is what scares you most of all at the end of the day. I wonder if you've felt able to express these fears with your counsellor at all, or perhaps with the facilitators on your course too? What has their response been like? That really does sound overwhelming, @Redemption , and I see you working so hard to create some of that structure for yourself. Reaching out here. To 1:1 support services. Through socialising. Your course. Applications and interviews. You've been trying to create that structure for yourself as best as possible and that takes a lot of dedication and commitment.
We're here for you, and thank you for sharing what's been on your mind lately.
Sian321
1
Re: Don't want to go out
Hey @Redemption . Thank you for making this post with such openness and honesty. It sounds like you're picking up on a pattern here when it comes to socialising, and you're getting curious about what that pattern might be about and how its different to stopping at football.
Reading your post, it sounds like you have a lot of self-awareness around this, and you said that perhaps declining social invites happens too when you feel overwhelmed or low in yourself. That is so valid, Redemption, and it can be really tough to reach out and connect with others when, on the inside, we're struggling. Being introverted too is also very valid - needing that space and time alone to fully rest.
You said that you feel scared to put yourself out there properly. May I ask, what do you think that fear would say if it could speak? What is it worried might happen? How do you tend to feel in the course classes themselves when you're around the other people?
We're here for you and you're doing so well to notice, name, and explore this!
Hey @Sian321 Thank you, that really means a lot. I think you’re right it does feel harder to connect when I’m feeling low or unsure of myself. I guess I’m just trying to figure it all out and take small steps when I can. I guess I'm maybe scared of people laughing or judging me or saying something that might upset me especially as I can be sensitive atm. I feel like I could be third wheeling I guess, maybe scared ill get lost, maybe if I'm drinking im worried about drinking too much, might be money too. I've finished the course now but on my course I definitely felt anxious talking to people. I appreciate so much y'all here for me, thanks so much ❤️.
